Selfish
by SgtMac
Summary: In the aftermath of Marian's return, Regina discovers that she's pregnant with Robin's child and must find a way to navigate the complicated emotional landscape of such a discovery. While she has the friendship, love and support of Henry, Snow and Emma, things only get more complicated when Robin finds out about the baby. Outlaw Queen, Regal Believer. AKA REGINA DOES PREGNANCY.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N:** This Outlaw Queen, Regina/Snow, Regina/Emma, Regina/Henry, Regina/Rumple story has been poking around over on my tumblr (sgtmac7) for the last three weeks. It's known there as REGINA DOES PREGNANCY. This is the cleaned-up, edited and expanded version of that story.

As those who have been reading it know, there are 16 parts to it. They will be up as they're edited.

**The timeline** of where this story begins is a short bit after 4x02. After Henry comes back home. Suffice it to say, things are as a whole...deeply complicated.

* * *

><p>His mother has always had something of a shifting appetite.<p>

When she's in control of all of her emotions and feeling powerful and perhaps even unbeatable, her appetite strengthens and her sweet tooth becomes something of an amusing abomination; Henry has more than a few memories of watching her shifting through a big of usually chocolate candies, all while telling him that she's just removing the most unhealthy ones of all.

When she's busy or preoccupied, she has a habit of snacking on anything that she can quickly pop into her mouth that won't stop her train of though. Her favorite there tend to almonds or occasionally, if the busy is in a good way, M&Ms out of a glass bowl. Just because she does appreciate a little presentation.

When she's upset or feeling very low, her usually healthy appetite lessens and she tends to drink alcohol more than eat food; those are generally scary times for him. Not because his mother is a mean drunk or anything of the sort, but rather because she has a bad habit of retreating even further into herself when it happens and it's terribly hard to pull her out of her dark depressions.

Now, though, now he has no real idea what to make of her appetite.

Because this morning she'd eaten half a stack of pancakes and looked like she'd been considering going back for more - or even stealing off his plate for half a second - but now she's munching on little more than saltines.

Weird, he thinks as he reaches for the bowl of ice cream in front of him on the table. They're at Granny's because she's trying to make sure that he doesn't end up locked away inside of the mansion taking care of her. At least, that's how she had explained it to him only in more mom-like terms. There'd been a lot of talk about how she appreciates him being there for her, but he's still the kid and it's her job to look after him and not the other way around. Henry had smiled and dutifully nodded and she'd sighed acknowledging that he hadn't really been absorbing a single word that she'd said to him the whole time.

Because yes, she's the mom and he's the son. But he's her son. And so by her side is where he'll be especially while she going through this heartbreak.

Still, he hadn't protested when she'd suggested lunch at Granny's which is why they're here now. He's made his way through a cheeseburger and fries but it doesn't escape his attention that his mom is still almost absently stirring around a bowl of chicken noodle soup, all the while munching on crackers.

She looks pale, Henry thinks as he studies his mother. Not quite right. He wonders if maybe she's coming down with the flu or something like that.

Which honestly is the last thing she needs after all that she's been through.

"Henry," Regina says softly. "Are you not feeling well, sweetheart?"

He blinks. "What?"

"You're just staring at your ice cream."

"Oh! I was…thinking about you. Are...are *you* okay?"

"I'm fine," she replies and though it's not a malicious lie by any stretch of the imagination, it's a clear lie all the same. Still, it's almost an expected one.

Because she'll never stop being his mother and trying to protect him.

He's about to reply to her - perhaps to suggest that they just go home - when the door opens and then, of course, Robin and his family are stepping inside the diner, Robin trailing a few inches behind Marian and Roland.

He sees his mother tense, her shoulders tightening and her jaw flexing.

"We can leave," Henry says and reaches out for his jacket.

"Finish your ice cream," she tells him. "We don't run from anyone."

"We?"

"We are Mills," she grins. There's a slight falter at the end because he's been identifying himself as Charming over the last few years and she's clearly not sure how he'll react to this…rebranding of who he is. He thinks that maybe she's worried that he'll reject her once again and feels pain that he ever did.

Logically - and his logic gains clarity with each day that he ages - he knows that what had occurred before between he and his mother is complicated, and that she would be the first one to tell him that he should feel no guilt over what had happened but when he sees the hope in her dark eyes, the way that she desperately desires for him to want to be Mills, it physically hurts him.

Because she is his mother and though it took him time to realize and see how much she truly loved and loves him and he her, now he understands it well.

So he smiles and he nods and he says, "Yeah." He pulls the bowl of ice cream closer to him and is about to dig into it when he sees Roland rushing over.

"R'gina!" the boy cries as he launches herself into Regina's arm.

Henry tries to remind himself that being jealous about a kid is pathetic.

Still, his mom is holding the little boy and Henry doesn't overly love it.

Because he's just gotten her back.

"Hi, Roland," Regina says gently, kindly. Then, looking up, her eyes lock with Robin's as he approaches, a slight uncomfortable smile on his lips.

"Sorry about that," Robin murmurs. "He got away from me."

"He's always had a habit of doing that," Regina notes, thinking back to several times during their year together in the Enchanted Forest - several occasions where they'd spent the afternoon hunting down a mischievous little boy.

"Indeed." He looks over at Henry and nods.

Henry just stares back at him.

Until Regina says his name, like it's okay to not be angry at Robin.

But Henry is angry at Robin because his mom has been drinking whiskey and cider more than eating food and that means that she's depressed and hurt and this man standing here who had left his mother is the reason for that.

"Are you well?" Robin asks suddenly, drawing Henry's attention back to his mother who is once again looking more than a little sick. He sees Regina hand a reluctant Roland back over to Robin, her arms trembling just a bit.

"I'm fine," she says quickly. Too quickly. "Just a bug."

"So we should get home," Henry announces firmly as he stands up.

Because there's nowhere else for this conversation to go; Robin had chosen someone else besides his mother and while that's absolutely the wrong decision to have made, it's the one he made and so there's no point in this.

"Of course," Robin says as he steps back. But then his hand is jerking out and right before Regina stumbles and falls, he's catching her and keeping her up on her own feet. She looks up at him for a moment and then breaks away.

Like even his touch hurts.

"I've got her," Henry tells him and it's kinder than he would like it to be considering Marian's sitting across the room and Robin is about to return to her, but he sees something in the older man's eyes - this deep pain.

It quiet's Henry's anger.

And reminds him that the only thing that matters right now is his mom.

"I'm fine," she reassures him. "But I do think we should be getting home."

Robin steps out of the way again but then, because he can't stop himself from speaking before his traitorous heart can catch up to his mind, "If you need -"

"I think we both know that it's far too late for that now," Regina answers quietly and then she's stepping out of the diner with Henry and breathing in great gulps of cold air, her hand settle across her belly as it flip-flops around.

"Mom?"

"I hate the flu," she answers with an uneasy laugh that isn't at all convincing or reassuring to him. "I really hope that I didn't give it to you."

He shrugs. "You make great soup."

It earns him a smile that meets her eyes.

He answers it in kind.

* * *

><p>She's still sick a week later and that's when it's worrisome because though he hasn't lived a long time, he understands the way the flu works. It comes on hard and fast and leaves you weak and drained, but then it goes away.<p>

This one isn't going away as it should.

And her appetite isn't returning.

Instead, it seems like every time she eats even a little bit, she ends up hunched over the toilet, making terrible sounds and shuddering fiercely.

He tells her he that he thinks she should see a doctor.

But of course, she insist she's fine.

He knows she's not.

Henry tries to get Emma to harass Regina into talking about what's going on with her - at the point that she's been sick like this for a couple of weeks, he's begun completely rejecting her assurances that she's just fine. He figures that maybe his blonde mother can perhaps bully his dark haired one into at least going to see a doctor to get something so that she can hold down food.

But Regina is suddenly refusing to speak to Emma again.

Henry had thought that it'd gotten better, but apparently not.

When Emma comes by to talk, Regina slams the door in her face.

And then disappears into the bathroom.

* * *

><p>She's better by the late afternoon on most days, though some days the weird flu symptoms hit her in the evening as well. It's one of these okay afternoons when they're out at the park together and there's Robin Hood again.<p>

With his son and his wife and they look like the perfect family as long as you ignore the fact that Robin and Marian are barely talking to each other.

When Henry turns to look at his mom, to try to gauge what she's thinking and figure out what she wants to do, he sees her staring right at Robin and oddly, one of her hands is rested across her belly. Henry tells himself that this is entirely normal for her - she's always encircled herself when under stress.

But there's something different about this - about her mood.

Something he can't quite figure out.

* * *

><p>He figures it out two days later when he's checking on his mom to ensure that's she sleeping soundly (she'd absolutely flip out if she knew about this; while she's okay with them teaming up to find who wrote the book and she's fine with him being at her side, she's been violently and quite loudly against any degree of care taking from him and so he finds that he has to sneak it).<p>

He figures it out when he's taking a glass into her bathroom to re-fill it at the filtered tap. There's a box in the trash and though he doesn't know the brand, he can read and it says plain as day: PREGNANCY TEST.

His eyebrows lift and it's like everything that he's ever seen on TV or read in a book slots into place. He holds up the box and looks back at over at his mom.

His likely pregnant mom.

* * *

><p>The box is on the counter when she comes down to make his breakfast in the morning and for a moment, she just freezes, her mouth falling open.<p>

"I wanted you to have to water when you woke up," Henry tells her.

Her eyes close and she inhales and then exhales.

Not because she's angry - she's well past that ugly emotion - but because she doesn't know how to have this conversation with her son. How does she tell him that she's going to have another child and she has no idea what to feel about that? How does she tell him that right now, she's hugely terrified.

"The internet says the morning sickness will get better," he tells her brightly.

"Does it?" she laughs, the sound humorless.

He nods. "It also says that you need to eat more. You need to gain weight."

"The first problem is causing issues with the second one," she mutters.

"Then we need to find something your stomach can handle."

"Henry -"

"You're pregnant," he says and the words are like a punch to the gut.

"Yes," she admits and her eyes are suddenly full of tears. There's so much more that she wants to say here, so much more that she wants to express, but he's still her son and he doesn't need to know of all her fears and doubts.

He doesn't need to know that she'd thought it impossible for her to ever become pregnant and now, not only is she, but she's pregnant with the man she's in love with's child. The man who had chosen to return to his once-wife.

His again-wife.

"Then that's our mission," Henry tells her. "Operation Runt."

She laughs at that. "And what about Operation Mongoose?"

"This is more important. This is our family."

She lets out a soft gasp, recovers quickly, steels herself and then with a voice that still houses a slight tremor, asks him, "And what are our goals?"

"Make sure my little brother or sister is born happy and healthy."

"I am okay," she tells him. "This isn't your job. I don't need -"

"It's not about what you need, Mom. It's what I want. I get to be part of something with you. I get to help you get ready for my sibling to come."

"It's going to get difficult," she tells him. "Robin can't know about this."

"Why?"

"Because he made his choice."

"For honor. Right. But now you're pregnant -"

"That's not what I want. I want…I want him here because he chooses to be and not because he's obligated to be. So this stays between just us."

"And when he sees you…" he makes a motion to show a rounded belly.

"I'll figure it out then."

"You'll lie to him."

"I didn't want you here because I forced you and I don't want him here, either," Regina says softly. "Please. Help me with this. Please."

"He wants to be with you," Henry insists.

"But he can't be. And…if I'm going to be a good person here and that's what I want to be - for you and for me and for…him or her - then I need to not think of just what I want and I need to not be selfish. I need to...Robin, he has a family all of his own."

Henry nods. "He's going to figure it out eventually. He will."

"But until he does?"

"This is _our_ family," Henry says. "And us Mills…we protect our family."

She smiles at that and then pulls her son as close to her as possible.

Robin will figure it out eventually. She'll lie and try to tell him that this child belongs to someone else, but she knows that will only give her extra time.

Time she doesn't want, but she thinks this is what good people do.

They try not to be selfish and they try to see the bigger picture.

He'll figure it out eventually, but until then, it'll be all about Operation Runt.

**TBC...**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N:** Thanks for the kind words.

**Warnings:** Very mild talk of miscarriages. Right at the top of the chapter.

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><p>She's been pregnant before.<p>

Three terrible soul-shattering times, in fact.

The woman who was once the Evil Queen stares at her exposed belly in the mirror above the sink in the en suite bathroom and places her hand against her her still flat abdomen, thinking about what exists beneath it. Thinking about the life that is just beginning.

Long ago, when she'd been pregnant with the King's child (she feels a quick flash of panic even now at just the thought of this), she'd been so very young and though the anger had been there, this life growing inside of her had calmed her down.

It had given her hope.

Until she'd woken up in hideous pain and seen the blood between her legs.

Until that had happened more than once and the just barely sympathetic doctors had told her that she simply was unfit to carry a child. They'd even said it like that, like that had made her less of a woman and she supposes in the eyes of the King's Court, it had. She had been made the Queen with four expectations: satisfy her husband's needs, provide him a male heir, ensure that Snow was alway well taken care of and provide the peasants with a female "leadership" figure - a role model - for them to adore.

She'd failed at two of the four and had never wanted the other two.

But that's long in the past and perhaps the curse or even time had healed her body because four different tests can't be wrong and it all really does make sense when Regina thinks about how sick she's been for the last few weeks. There's really no way around the simple fact that she's pregnant.

Which is terrifying and exciting and…heartbreaking.

Because it shouldn't have happened and she wouldn't have wanted it to happen (certainly not so soon if ever, to be honest) but it has and it doesn't matter what any of them want because Robin made his choice for them and now she has a choice of her own to make. What to do next? How to proceed?

Some answers are simple.

Unless this child rejects her as every other child in her life has (she tries to remind herself that Henry had come home, had chosen to be here with her and he shouldn't be compared to babies in the womb or kids that were never hers to begin with, and yes she understands that all but right now her mind is in chaos and she feels fear great enough to be almost paralyzing), but she knows that she can't think like that. This baby is hers and whatever it takes, Regina vows she's going to make sure that he or she makes it into this world.

She sighs and re-buttons her blouse over her still smooth stomach. She thinks of Snow and how the woman had grown quickly (and almost over-night) and while they have entirely different body types, Regina is still a reasonably small woman and she has no real delusions of being able to hide her pregnancy once the baby starts to present itself. Long thick coats will assist for awhile, but there will come a day when -

But that day is not today, she tells herself firmly, stopping that runaway train before it can jump the tracks.

The only person who knows right now is Henry.

She sighs, deflating just a bit.

Because that probably needs to change.

The sad reality is that if she's going to be a good mother, and especially considering her past with miscarriages, she's going to have to swallow her pride and put her child first. Which means she's going to need to get some help with this. At the very least, she needs to see a doctor to ensure that everything is all right.

She needs to know that everything is all right.

The question is…who?

Who can she trust? Who does she dare to trust?

Victor is out of the question. He would probably start jumping up and down at the idea of getting to be her gynecologist but not only does she not ever want that man between her legs for…well, any reason (good Lord what had Snow been thinking, she muses), but she also doesn't trust him. He would be interested in a baby with magic in their blood as hers might have and that could make him reckless with ensuring the child's safety over science.

The other option is Doc, but can he be trusted? He's one of Snow's creepy little men and will always be loyal to her first and while she and Snow are fine - better than that to be honest and she allows for a moment a warming feel at that - these days, she really doesn't want anyone knowing about this.

Perhaps especially Snow who might try to interfere or push her to stupid things that she's already decided that she doesn't want to do. If Robin ends up being part of this, it's going to be because he chooses love and not because he once again chooses a different flavor of obligation and honor. It's bad enough that he's already done that - even if she understands when the hurt fades back enough for her to do so - but she won't be a repeat of that.

She needs to be more than what he's reduced Marian to. Marian doesn't know (and that somehow makes this all that much worse) but she does and as much as she wants Robin with her and by her side, she won't allow their relationship and their feelings to ever become a sick sham thanks to a compulsion towards duty.

She won't and she can't.

So Snow can't know.

Not yet, at least.

Which leaves…leaving town.

For that to happen, she's going to need some answers first.

She finishes tucking her shirt into her slacks and steps from the room, calling for Henry as she descends the stairs. "I need to go to the Library," she tells him when he comes out of the kitchen with a bowl of cereal in his cupped palms. "Would you care to join me?"

"Yeah. Is this about the storybook? I thought we decided to put Operation Mongoose on the shelf for Operation-" He trails off when he sees her cast her eyes down towards her belly and then he gets it. "Oh. This is Operation Runt. Okay, but why the Library? Why not just use the internet for research?"

"Because I need to find out if I can leave town to see a doctor. I don't...I would prefer not to use one here in Storybrooke."

He frowns at that answer, but then asks, "And the Library will help with that?"

"Belle can help with that." She laughs to herself, both amused and a little bit disgusted at the irony of how the woman she'd done so much harm to is the one person in this town that she trusts to actually do right by her now.

"Okay," Henry says with a bright beaming smile. "I'll grab my jacket."

* * *

><p>The Library is still closed for business and Regina thinks that Belle almost prefers it that way. It's quiet and she gets to live in the adventures of her books and not worry about the demands of others. Unfortunately, Regina is here to disrupt that peaceful solitude and well, at least she feels bad for it.<p>

Because this girl has been kind to her even when she hardly deserves it.

Belle is kind and strong and defiant and so brave and that Regina respects.

"Regina?" Belle asks when the former queen and Henry enter together.

"I have need of your help," Regina says, getting right to the point, her hands shoved deep into the pockets of her coat. "And yes, I know you don't owe me anything and I have no right to ask anything of you, but if you agree to assist me, what I also need is your word that you will keep what I say to yourself."

"That doesn't sound good," Belle states. "Why would I ever make that type of promise considering the things that you've…done to me and to others?"

"It's precisely because of those things that I've done that I need what I'm about to tell you to remain quiet." She gestures to Henry. "You don't have to trust me; I certainly have earned your distrust. But Henry, he knows what I'm here about and I would hope that you would trust his intentions if not mine."

Belle agrees immediately. "Fine, assuming no one is hurt, you have my word."

"Someone is always hurt," Regina murmurs, her mind swirling with terribly dark thoughts and her heart aching horribly. "But in this case, he made his decision and I'm here because I need to do the right thing." She swallows hard and then lifts her eyes and looks right across at Belle. "I'm pregnant."

"Oh," Belle says, her bright blue eyes suddenly wide.

Regina chuckles. "Indeed."

"Robin Hood is...the father, yes?"

"Now do you understand?"

Belle offers up the smallest of smiles. "What do you need from me?"

"I need to see a doctor. To verify the pregnancy and to ensure that the baby is safe, but there's no one in this town whom I trust with this. Which means I need to be able to cross the town line. When it was my curse, I could, but I just don't know about Snow's. I really would prefer to not lose my memories."

There's a tense moment between the two women as Belle remembers a girl named Lacey and Regina remembers how many time she's hurt this woman.

But then Belle sighs. "All right. I'll do some digging around and see what I can find out fo you. Considering everything else, I think Snow utilized your overall template which didn't change anything for you so you should be okay, but I'll see if I can't verify that and come up with a back-up plan just in case."

"Thank you. I...appreciate the help."

"You should tell him. He has the right to know he's going to be a father."

"He already is a father - and a good one - which is part of the reason why he feels the need to do right by Roland's mother and his...wife. And yes, maybe he does deserve to know, but right now I'm less concerned with who has the right to what and more concerned with making sure *my* children are safe."

"I'll be in touch," Belle says quietly.

Regina nods and steps away again, towards the door. For a moment, Henry hangs back, thoughtful and then he says almost nervously, "She is trying."

"She is, Henry, and that's why I'm helping," Belle tells him and then gives him a big smile, the sort of smiles that comes so easy for her in spite of everything.

He gives it right back.

* * *

><p>Belle calls over to the house later that afternoon and tells her that all of her research has confirmed that Regina should be able to cross the town-line without problem, but just in case, she's procured a vial of the potion that Rumple had used to help himself get across the line (he'd made several for "just in case" and stored them away in a safe and well, she's aware of many of his secrets even if she's not aware of all of them). She tells Regina that it will be on the counter in the Library should she want to come by later for it.<p>

Regina thanks her once again and then just before she hangs up, apologizes once more. It's quiet and it's not as emphatic as it should be but it's enough.

Belle answers with an equally quiet, "I know," and then hangs up the phone.

* * *

><p>They treat Henry's scarf with Rumple's special potion - just in case. He's had this red and gray scarf since he was old enough not to trip on it and it's been everywhere with him. From Storybrooke to New York to Neverland and home.<p>

It's seen good and bad moments and it's Henry.

It's the experiences that have made her little prince who he is.

And he is, as always, her bright light at the end of the dark tunnel.

She gets on the internet and finds a highly recommended gynecologist in the Bangor area who just happens to be accepting new patients and thanks to a last minute schedule drop, has the ability to see her almost immediately. It's scary because this means trusting someone new, but it's a worthy risk.

It's a risk worth taking if it means ensuring this child within her will draw air.

* * *

><p>The morning of the appointment, Henry convinces her to stop by the Sheriff's Station to see Emma. The idea is that they'll tell Emma that they're going off the grid for the night - camping out down by the beach just the two of them.<p>

It's a strange thing for her to do, but she's been seen in casual clothes and reading comic books out in public as of late so it's not all that bizarre.

And it will hopefully keep Emma from wondering where they've gone to.

She really doesn't want to see Emma - still hasn't forgiven her for this (and thinks it's even harder to do so right now as she's facing an uncertain future and more fear than she quite knows what to do with) but she doesn't need the stress of Emma thinking she's disappeared with Henry and they're about to reignite a custody battle. That Emma had done much the same to her years ago is irrelevant - she might be pissed at Emma but she doesn't want war.

She can't physically or emotionally handle any kind of fight right now.

Anything more than the ones that she already has going on.

They enter the Sheriff's Station together, Henry at her side and then both of them come to a hard stop because sitting at the desk, next to the one that David is currently occupying, a cup of coffee in his hand, is Robin Hood.

"What are you doing here?" she demands before she can stop herself.

"Regina," he greets, caught off-guard for a moment. It's not an answer but he's having a hard time working his way around her obvious aggression.

She's been angry and hurt but right now she seems almost uncomfortable.

"Hey Regina," Emma calls out as she comes out of the back office, smiling awkwardly at Regina and then more genuinely at Henry. "Uh, you're not the Mayor anymore so you didn't get the hiring requistion, but...well, we had some extra room in the budget so considering all this Snow Queen stuff, I thought it might be a good idea to bring on another hand. He's got the skills."

"Yes, a fraud and two thieves," Regina comments coolly. "Maybe you could also employ your pirate boyfriend and then you'd also have a murderer."

"Ouch," Emma notes with a wince. She glances at at Henry. "So what's up? Or did you just drop by to throw some shade and then slip back into the night?"

"It's daytime," Regina comments. "Or did you just wake up?"

"Mom," Henry sighs. And then he glues a smile onto his face. "We came by because we wanted to tell you that we're going an overnight camping trip."

"You two?" David asks, his eyebrow up. "You camp, Regina?"

Regina rolls her eyes at him. And tries not to look at Robin at all.

"Down at the beach," Henry adds while bouncing anxiously on his heels.

"Might be a cold night," Emma notes, frowning slightly. Her instincts are screaming that this is a lie, and she even knows that it is. So the question is why for?

"Not really a concern of ours," Regina replies and then opens her hand to show off a fireball sitting there. It's probably a good thing that everyone is looking at the flame because otherwise they'd see the wince she makes when she activates her magic, a kind of sharp pain radiating up from her middle.

She kills the flame immediately and blinks to push away the gathering tears that have formed thanks to the pain.

Which, thankfully, has already abated.

"Right," Emma retorts. "Well, thanks for telling me."

"I suppose one of us should act like an adult."

"Yeah? You let me know when that starts, huh?"

"Hey," Henry inserts sharply. "Enough. Both of you."

Both women quickly - and with some degree of embarassment - look away from each other and then Emma's frown becomes a scowl. Probably because she's been trying to make things up to Regina, not create new battle wounds.

"You sure you should be out while you're still not feeling well?" Robin asks, his voice cutting through the quiet tension in the room. "Might not be healthy."

"I can more than take care of myself. I've always taken care of myself."

Their eyes meet and there's something else being said there - something like she's wondering why she'd been so silly as to let down her defenses and he's trying to tell her that despite all of this, he's glad that she had done so.

But it's not so easy and even being in this room hurts and just reminds her that she's about to head out of Storybrooke to deal with *their* issue alone.

Not quite alone, but…

Don't be selfish, she tells herself again and again and again.

Don't be selfish.

Be strong.

"Regina -" Emma starts and that's more than Regina can handle at this exact moment because she's fairly certain the sheriff is about to agree with her new deputy and point out that right now the former mayor doesn't look good.

And they're absolutely correct, of course; right now Regina looks likes she's about to either start throwing up all over again or perhaps even pass out.

So Regina snaps out, "We'll let you know when we've returned." And she means it in more ways than Emma knows, but then she's turning and leaving.

She almost even gets away.

Henry is walking beside her and they're moving in step towards the car and he's handing her his scarf to drape over her shoulders and then there's quick hard footsteps coming up fast behind them and Henry is yanking the scarf away from her hands which only makes the whole thing look even stranger.

"Regina."

She freezes. And turns slowly to face Emma.

"We all know something is going on with you." Her eyes flicker to the scarf that Henry is now holding in his hands, the end of it drooping downwards.

"You know what's going on with me," Regina insists. "You know exactly."

"No, there's something else."

"As is the usual case, you don't know what you're talking about, Miss Swan."

"You can talk to me or to -"

Regina crosses the space that separates her and Emma quickly, jumping into the sheriff's bubble in a way that makes Emma tense up. "No. There's no either here. I don't have to talk any of you fools. My business is my business. As it should have always been. Stay out of it and leave me the hell alone."

"I'm just trying to help," Emma says softly, pressed up against the far wall in a way that she seldom allows and for once not really resisting it. There's deep guilt on her face and it's almost - *amost* - enough to make Regina soften.

She looks down at Henry and thinks that she'll see fear and anger, but he's just watching with a curious expression, like he understands that while he shouldn't be seeing this, maybe these are things that need to happen.

It's almost like he has faith that if his mothers do this, they'll get through it.

But he's still just a kid and things are still so much more simple for him.

"The only thing that I want from you, Miss Swan, is to turn back time, but that can only be done once and I think you screwed that up enough already."

"One day you might actually believe me when I tell you that hurting you is the very last thing I'd ever want to do. Believe it or not, I consider you a friend."

"Then, *friend*, respect my request and stay away from me. Far away."

"Fine," Emma says, stepping away from Regina. "But whether you want to admit it to me or not, I know that something is still wrong with you. And it's about more than being heartbroken. You're not okay." Emma glances over at the son that they share between them and in that moment, she realizes that he knows exactly what is going on with his adoptive mother. And he won't tell her what it is.

He won't betray her trust.

Good kid, she thinks, even if that does make her mission a whole lot harder.

"Maybe I am and maybe I'm not, but as I said before, none of that is any of your business," Regina replies wearily. "Now if you'll excuse me, Henry and I have a big day out planned out for us and we're already well behind schedule."

"Okay, but if you ever do get around to forgiving me, I'm right here."

"Their eyes meet and then Regina just nods sharply and turns away.

"Then you should probably get yourself some coffee because you might be waiting awhile," Regina snaps back before turning and stalking away.

"I know," Emma says when Henry opens his mouth. "Be patient."

"Don't give up on her. She's angry because -"

"Because she trusted me. And she thinks I broke that trust."

"She wouldn't be angry if she didn't care. And I know you'll tell me I'm just a kid and don't understand, but I know my mom. Both of my moms."

"Yeah, I guess you do." She smiles at him then, ruffles his hair (which he groans at), then says in a voice that makes it clear that she knows that there's no actual camping trip, "Enjoy your night, but remember to pack for it to get cold. Because it will. And she probably shouldn't be out in the cold if she's still sick."

Henry rolls his eyes. "Lamest attempt to get information out of me ever." Then, shaking his head like he's disgusted at her, he turns and walks away.

* * *

><p>"So?" Robin asks, standing up the moment Emma re-enters. "Anything?"<p>

"No. She's Regina," Emma sighs.

"She doesn't look well," Robin insists again. "She's been sick for weeks now."

"She's strong," David reminds him.

"Of course she is," Robin agrees. "But she was strong in the Enchanted Forest as well and how many times did we have to clean out her bloody wounds?"

"She has Henry with her," Emma assures him gently. "She might be reckless when she's on her own, but when she has our kid with her, it's different."

Robin smiles thinly at that.

Emma's right, of course (though even she seems doubtful) but there's something deep down in the middle of Robin's chest that's telling him that there's more going on here. He reminds himself that it's not his right to know anymore and she has no obligation to let him into her heart anymore.

He understands all of this, knows it to be the truth.

And misses her terribly all the same.

* * *

><p>The Mercedes slides over the town line and immediately, Regina gasps as the magic in her veins hardens and then quiets. She places a hand over her belly and then looks at Henry who is watching her with curious but fearful eyes.<p>

Like he's not certain if his mother is still with him.

So she says his name quietly and he smiles.

And says, "Let's go check out Bangor."

**TBC...**


	3. Chapter 3

Regina has never been a fan of doctors of any type and she's even less a fan of the one that is touching her at the moment, no matter how kind she is. Her mind is a swirl of emotions and memories and though the woman above her is speaking softly, all Regina can think about is the men who hadn't.

The "ones" who had told her that she was essentially useless to the King.

So much time has passed and some scars still remain so terribly vivid.

"You can put your clothes back on now, Miss Mills," the doctor - Elisabeth - tells her, a slight accent brushing delicately over her carefully annunciated words. "We can talk about our next steps together once you're dressed."

"Is there something wrong?" Regina asks, her dark eyes suddenly wide with alarm. Visions of the past suddenly cloud her mind and she can see the King staring at her in disappointment, his disinterest in her growing with every bundle removed from her bedroom.

"Not at all. Everything looks quite good for where we are at this stage of your pregnancy, but considering your stated history with miscarriages, I wanted to go through a list of precautions and perhaps make some recommendations."

"Oh. Right. Of course."

"It's entirely normal to be anxious," Elisabeth assures her. "I promise you."

The woman means well and she's not actually being condscending in any way - in fact, Regina detects nothing from her but actual compassion and true empathy - but still, considering all that she has been through in her long life, it rubs a bit wrong to be told that any kind of negative emotion is acceptable.

"Would you like your son to join us for this discussion?" Elisabeth asks, seeming to understand that she needs to rebalance this conversation away from the clear uncertainity that is presenting itself on her patients' face.

Regina looks up at her and smiles, almost sighing in relief. She knows damn well that she shouldn't be leaning on Henry like she is, but it's hard not to do so when he's offering up his shoulders and his support to her. "I would."

"All right. Go ahead and get dressed and then meet us in my office."

* * *

><p>"Everything all right?" Henry asks when she comes into the office; they're by themselves for the moment and he looks fairly anxious about this place.<p>

Understandable as he's just starting to grasp sexuality.

And now he's joining his mother on visits to the baby doctor. Weird.

She loves her son all the more for it.

"Everything is fine," she assures him.

"Did you have to tie the scarf off?"

"For my exam, yes," she says and then chuckles darkly to herself at the mental image of a gynelogical exam with her son's scarf around her neck; it's more than a little weird, to be sure. "But I'm still me, see? So Belle was right."

"You shouldn't have done that," he scolds. He worries about his mother sometimes - a lot of the time - and just how reckless she can be about her own safety. Like she believes that no one would miss her if she was gone.

"I didn't even realize I was," she admits. And that's the truth. For as weird as the mental image of an exam with the scarf is, she'd been fully prepared to fulfill that, but when she'd been undressing and thinking about someone touching her, the scarf and the dangers of removing it had just flickered away from her mind and then the next thing she'd known, it'd been on the bench in front of her with her shoes and she'd realized that she'd still been herself.

"Mom," he starts to say and she knows that he's going to plead with her to be more careful, but before she can say anything else, the door is getting pushed open and then Elisabeth is entering with a thick stack of papers.

She takes a seat, leans towards them and says in that wonderful accent of hers, "So, let's talk about how to take care of yourself and your little one."

* * *

><p>They're quiet on the drive back to Storybrooke and at first he thinks that it's because it's raining hard (which means that they'll have to come up with a different story for Emma because surely she knows there's no way that Regina would let them stay outside in a freezing Maine downpour), but then he notices the way that his mother is white-knuckling the steering wheel.<p>

"Mom?" he asks.

She turns her head slightly and looks over at him to let him know that she's heard him and is okay with him asking her whatever is on his mind.

"Are you scared?"

Regina thinks for a moment and then says quietly, "Yes."

She feels his hand slide into hers. "You know you're not alone, right?"

"I know, but I need you to know that you're my son and not my protector."

"Can't I be both?"

"It's my job to protect you, not the other way around."

"Okay, then it's my job to protect the runt. Remember? Our Operation?"

"I remember," she chuckles. "And fine, you can protect him or her."

"Which do you think it is."

"I don't know," she admits. "Right now, I just want her to meet you."

"Her?"

Regina laughs. "Or him."

"It could be fun to have a little sister."

"No matter what it is, you're going to be an amazing older brother."

"Yeah," he agrees. He points ahead, then. "Town line."

She half-smiles out her acceptance of this and then lightly gasps when they cross the line, wincing slightly.

"Mom?"

"I'm fine. It's always a bit unsettling when the magic inside of me gets turned back on."

"So you're not hurt?"

She pauses ever so briefly because she does feel a bit queasier than usual - but then, this is the first time that she's had the magic turned back on with a baby on-board so perhaps that's the difference. Before Henry can notice her hesitation, she says quickly, "I'm not. Do you imagine she's waiting at the house for us?"

"Emma?"

"Mm."

"Probably. So what's our story?"

Regina laughs. And then shrugs her shoulders.

Because for once, there are no easy lies on her tongue.

She figures she'd better come up with one, though.

Just in case.

* * *

><p>Emma <em>is<em> waiting there for them, sitting on the front step dressed in jeans and her new pale colored jacket. When the Mercedes pulls up into the driveway, it's wheels splashing water up around the car, Emma stands up.

"Miss Swan," Regina greets coolly as she and Henry get out of the car.

"How was the beach?" Emma asks, hands tucked deep in her pockets to try and give her a casual disinterested look that is anything but. "Warm?"

"We changed our plans."

Emma looks up at the sky. "Yeah, I bet. Hey, Kid."

"Hey, Emma," he says and gives her a quick one-armed hug before fleeing into the house; part of him thinks he should stay behind and referee but the other part knows that until these two deal with their issues, it'll stay like this.

And his adoptive mother doesn't need the stress of such bad blood between she and his birth mother - Elisabeth had been very clear that considering his mom's history with miscarriages, any stress could put the baby at grave risk.

Which means that this has to end.

So he flees inside but he stays close to the door just in case it becomes more than a matter of refereeing. Just in case he has to step between them and make them both see that they're more and better than this. He has rather enjoyed their building and growing friendship and he wants that back.

He thinks that they both do as well.

* * *

><p>"So, where were you really?" Emma asks after Henry disappears.<p>

"How is that any of your business? Unless you think that you have the right to tell me where I can go with my son." She steps towards Emma. "Because if that's why you're here, Miss Swan, understand that I came by as a courtesy -"

"I know," Emma says, her hand up in surrender. "I'm just…you're sick."

"What?"

"Not to be rude -"

"That would be a new twist for you."

Emma lifts an eyebrow as if to say, "look who's talking" but then pushes ahead with, "But you look like you got hit with a bus and everyone in this damn town that has even caught a fleeting glimpse of you lately has also seen you bent over a few seconds later throwing up whatever you just ate."

"Clearly, I need to eat less in public," Regina mutters to herself.

"Maybe or maybe you need to get whatever is going on with you checked out. If it's just the flu, you should be taking care of yourself, but if it's -"

Regina's eyebrows knit together. "If it's what?"

"If it's something else, well then I've been there and maybe I can help."

"You've helped enough. I don't want you involved in this."

"So you are, then? Pregnant?"

Regina flinches slightly, her hand going to her belly instinctively.

"Fuck," Emma mutters. "You can't say I don't screw up spectacularly."

It's said with such dark sad humor that Regina can't help but chuckle even if it does mean completely admitting to what she'd been trying to hide. "No," she allows. "I would say that this was one of your more impressive feats."

"Right. Okay. So what can I do to help? Please, let me help."

Regina thinks for a moment and then sighs. "Keep Robin away from me."

"You're not planning on telling him." It's a statement not a question, and it's curiously void of judgement or disbelief, like Emma understands this.

"No. He's already screwed himself into the ground over his precious honor, the last thing I want him doing is spraining something over a reversal of it."

"And when he does find out that you're pregnant?"

"It's your father's baby," Regina says dryly. "It's a long sordid story."

Emma makes something of a face and then shakes it away. "I need to not ever have that…yeah…so where were you today, then? Not in town, I presume."

"I was confirming the pregnancy and getting all my vitamins and -" she frowns because though pregnancy had never worked out for her in the Enchanted Forest, it had been easier than here where there seems like there are about ten pages worth of do this and don't do that for every day of the pregnancy.

"And everything is...everything is good?"

"So far."

"Kid give this an operational name yet?"

"Operation Runt," Regina admits.

Emma chuckles at that. "Figures. Well, Robin won't hear it from me. You have my word."

"And what should your word mean to me, Emma?"

"It means I'm sorry and I never wanted you to be hurt."

"I suppose I believe you," Regina allows grudgingly.

"Well, I suppose that's good enough for now."

"I would ask that you not mention this to anyone else, either. Not even your mother or father. I'm not ready to...I'm not ready to share this yet."

"Okay. Not a word," Emma assures. "But for what it's worth, personally, I think that you should talk to him because he is so madly in love with you that -"

"That it doesn't matter. He made his choice and I won't be the person he breaks his code of honor for. I need to be better than wanting that, too."

"Well, then word of advice: come up with someone other than my dad."

"Oh, but it's a grand love story. If it makes you feel better -"

"Whatever disturbing thing you're about to say? Won't make me feel better."

Regina chuckles at that. "No, perhaps not. I'll...come up with something."

"Right. I'm going to go now," Emma says as she steps back. "Tell the kid hanging out behind the door that we didn't kill each other and good night."

"Goodnight, Miss Swan."

Emma nods at the continued use of her last name instead of her first, like she knows that there's still much progress to be made between them to even get them back to the curious place where they were just a few short months ago.

But it's nice not to be at war.

Perhaps even nice to have a friend.

Even if it will take time to get there.

* * *

><p>Per her promise, Emma goes out of her way to keep Robin away from Regina - always giving him the patrols on the opposite of town and keeping him busy running strange little errands for her when Regina's nearby - but she can't keep them from just about stumbling into each other outside of Granny's.<p>

Regina is almost four months along now and she's starting to show enough that she's taken to wearing larger coats when she's moving around town. She imagines that some folks have noticed, but there's an upside to being as unpredictable as she is known to be - people just shrug those things off.

Now, though, Robin is eying the coat curiously. "Aren't you overheating?" he asks, glancing up at the sun. It's only around seventy but quite bright out.

"I'm fine," she replies and stops herself from reaching up to touch him.

It's been four months and the muscle memory is still there for her.

She still vividly remembers what his back feels like when all of the muscles within it are flexing beneath her scraping nails as he moves atop her. She can still clearly recall the touch of his bearded cheek as he'd kissed his way up and down her body, stopping every now and again to tease a particular sound out of her or see if he could get her to plead for more of something.

"I haven't seen you around much," Robin notes, drawing her away from a past that she doesn't want to forget - can't forget, considering - but knows that she needs to find a way to remove the emotion from. She needs to find a way to not feel so much for this man - so much longing and hurt and love and anger and everything else - but it's harder when he close like right now. It almost feels like every part of her (including the baby inside of her, but of course that's completely preposterous) wants to step towards him and just -

But she knows that she can't touch him - won't dare risk the landslide of emotions that would surely come from such an action - so instead she just balls up her traitorous hands and shoves them deep into her pockets.

"That's probably for the best," she notes. It makes things less complicated."

"I suppose that it does," Robin agrees. "Roland misses you, though."

She sighs at that and shakes her head. "Are you trying to hurt me?"

He looks taken aback, shocked by the accusation. "Why would you ever -"

"He has his mother and Robin…I can't. I adore that little boy, but I can't be a part of his life and realize that…I just can't. I need full separation here."

He swallows hard and says quietly, "I understand. And yes, of course."

"Good," she says and then starts to step around him. She knows that she needs to get away from him before all the feelings start surging up again.

Before the words "don't be selfish" lose their meaning as she thinks about how she'd looked in this mirror this morning and seen the swell of her belly.

A growing belly which contains a child that they had made together.

She's almost around him, almost away from him when she hears the loud scream and then they're both turning together, both looking towards the danger and then they're both rolling their eyes in frustration at the massive creature ambling down the street towards them, stomping everything.

Robin tenses and reaches for his bow.

"Shoot him in the foot" Regina suggests as she sizes the creature up and looks for areas of opportunity to strike at. "I can take care of the rest."

Without hesitation, he nods his head sharply and then fires his perfect shot, the arrow embedded into the creature's foot. It howls and rears up in anger.

Which is when Regina chooses to ignite her hands with fire.

The pain she feels is immediate and agonizing and though she manages to get the fireballs off (she thinks she hears the creature tearing apart as one of the blasts hits it right in its exposed side), she is aware of little else beyond the hurt she feels before she's crumbling to the cement, a hand on her belly.

She feels Robin's arms around her and his hands on her face and she thinks that she hears him shouting for help even as he tells her that she's safe.

Even as she promises her that she's okay and everything will be okay.

But the whole time, even as she turns into his warmth, all she's thinking over and over again is that she's just lost their baby and it's all her fault.

**TBC...**


	4. Chapter 4

Robin Hood has a reputation for being one of the good guys. He's a White Hat who strays into petty theft for the better good of all mankind. That he's done some petty damning things in his past has been casually overlooked simply because those details are inconvenient to the heroic narrative.

Right now, though, Robin could give a crap about his reputation so when one of the townies - a drunken fisherman - appears above him and Regina and says in a snorting husk of a voice, "Is the bitch dead?", Robin snaps hard.

He reaches up,grabs the man by the lapels of his dirty water-stained coat, pulls him down so that their faces are just inches apart (unpleasant considering the alcoholic scent flowing off the fisherman in great waves) and growls out, "Find me assistance or so help me God, you'll be the one needing it."

The man quivers, but then nods and ambles away, but by that time, Robin is bowing his head back towards Regina, who remains in his arms. Her eyes are sealed shut and there's sweat pouring down her face. It's the blood on her slacks that catches his eyes, though. Her pants are darkly colored, but the wetness - and the sharp tang of iron in the air - is unmistakable. Especially to a man who recalls all to well that smell from a battlefield full of dead men.

"Regina," Robin calls out, breathing out a sigh in relief when he sees her move just a bit. "Just hold on. Hold on."

"It hurts," she whispers and gods, he thinks that he sees tears in her eyes.

He reaches for her coat, reaches to open it so that he can inspect her injuries - surely she'd somehow caught some shrapnel from the exploding creature but her hand quickly seal over his like she's trying to slap him away from doing it and before he can protest and tell her now isn't the time for her to be strong and prideful and not let anyone help her, he hears steps fast approaching and looks up to see David and Emma rushing towards him.

"What happened?" Emma breathes out.

"That thing there," Robin points, gesturing towards the creature debris. "It came at us and we fought it off. When it was over, she went down."

David nods as he and Emma bend down next to Regina who is just barely conscious now. "We were chasing its brother across town," David notes.

"Did it hit her?" Emma asks as she stands back up and starts gesturing for the paramedics that have just appeared. Times have changed and though not long ago, no one would have come to the Queen's aid, now quite a few of the people in this town have actively embraced her change and perhaps even see in themselves the ability to do so as well if the Evil Queen can. Which, Emma imagines, is probably why the medics are rushing forward now.

Then again, if they'd been slow about it, Emma thinks that she - or Robin considering the strain that has his body tight as tension cable - would have forced them to tend to the Queen. Thankfully, that's not necessary here.

"I don't know," Robin breathes and he's holding Regina close against his chest now, his eyes so turbulent and afraid as this devastatingly strong woman that he so deeply loves is now trembling and whimpering in his arms.

And she keeps saying, "Please no, please…"

"Robin," David urges. "You need to…let them, okay? Let them in."

"If they hurt her -"

"They won't," Emma assures him. She reaches out for him and places a hand lightly on his forearm, causing him to look over at her. "They will not."

"We won't, sir," one of the paramedics says gently. "I promise you that the Queen will come to no harm in our care but we need to get to her. Please?"

Robin reluctantly releases his arms, his heart clenching when her fingers grab onto his shirt for a moment. When their eyes meet, she whispers out a raspy apology to him and then she's collapsing backwards, unconscious now.

"Help her," Robin pleads, his hands clenching and unclenching uselessly.

"We will," the paramedic says and then he nods to his partner and they're lifting up the gurney and rushing it towards the ambulance; the hospital is only a couple of miles away, but with that much blood, the bus is needed.

"David, take Robin to the hospital," Emma directs.

"What are you going to do?" her father asks as he stands back up.

"I'm going to ensure that there are no more of these little bastards running around and then I'm going to go pick up Henry and bring him to her."

* * *

><p>Regina's been sitting in the waiting room watching the doors leading to the ER for over an hour and he's starting to go stir-crazy. Both David and Snow are there with him now, and they keep casting worried looks his way. Finally, he has enough of their pointless worrying over him and stands up, striding purposefully towards where Regina is. Behind those doors. With the disturbingly serious men and the women in the white coats.<p>

"Robin," David says, jumping up and stepping into his path.

"I have nothing, but respect for you, but get out of my way or I will remove you," Robin growls, his hands reaching out to push David away from him.

"I know that you want to be there for her right now, but this isn't helping anything. You're not helping her." David shakes his head, exhaustion etched into the lines around his eyes. "Right now, there's nothing that you can do for Regina, but stay out here with the rest of us and…any hope for the best."

"That's not good enough," Robin says desperately, his blue eyes on the still swinging white doors ahead. "She was bleeding. I keep thinking about it and I'm…I'm quite sure that I didn't see her actually get hit by any debris but there was so much going on…" he swallows hard and finds that he can't continue.

"I know," David says gently, settling a hand onto Robin's elbow. "But I've known Regina for a very long time; she's strong and she's tough. Whatever is going on with her in there, she'll pull through it like she always does. Because that's what Regina does. She'll be spitting fire again by tomorrow morning."

"Until the day that she isn't because everyone has always assumed that she always would be," Robin says quietly and then moves away from David.

To his credit, David doesn't push Robin any harder on this. He just steps back and joins Snow in the seats, reaching out to take Neal from her. She puts her head on her husband's shoulder and he slides his free arm around her.

And then they wait.

Just wait.

* * *

><p>Henry arrives without Emma about twenty minutes later, out of breath and red-faced. He tells them that Emma and two of the Merry Men had gone to chase after yet another one of the creatures and then he asks about Regina.<p>

"We don't know yet," Snow says and then steps towards him.

He looks for a moment like he's about to say something, but then he gazes over at Robin and he suddenly turns away from the man and goes to his grandmother instead. It's a strange move, an odd display of shut-down coldness even from a boy that's become deeply protective over his mother.

Robin lets it pass, though.

Because he has a good idea what's behind Henry's anger at him.

Even understands it.

But such conversations and thoughts are for a different time.

Because there are more important things to worry about right now.

Whale comes out and walks towards them not long after Henry's arrival. He's smug and smirking, but that doesn't actually mean anything with him.

"She's going to be fine," Whale says after a long enough dramatic pause.

"Was she hit by something?" Robin asks, approaching Whale with enough aggression and intensity to make the man visibly stiffen up in reaction.

"Not that I could see, no. It seems that this is more a matter of her magic interacting poorly with the baby inside of her. The child completely -"

"Child?" Snow interrupts. "What child?" She glances over at the others and sees shell-shock on Robin's face and an eyebrow raised from her husband.

But Henry, he's frowning deeply and glaring at Whale, like maybe he's known about this all along and isn't one bit happy about this news coming out.

"The Queen is pregnant. She's at just a hair over four months," Whale states, the smirk returning to his pale lips as he observes the shock making its way around the room. "I'm guessing since you didn't know about this, that means that you're not the father of Her Majesty's little one, hmm?"

"Whale," David growls, a clear warning that the other man just sighs at.

"Four months," Robin breathes out, mostly ignoring the taunting bait, his mind counting backwards for a brief moment. Then, his eyes widen. "There was so much blood. Is she…did she? You said Regina is all right, yes?"

"Yes, and the baby is fine as well. I'd be happy to explain everything in more depth if you'd like, but what matters is that her HCG levels are solid and the ultrasounds look stable. This kid is as tough as well…" he laughs. "Regina."

"Can I see my mom?" Henry asks. He already knows the answer to these questions, has no patience for any of this extra drama; all he cares about is getting into the room and seeing with his own eyes that his mother and his baby brother or sister is all right.

"Of course. Let's get her comfortable in a bed, and then certainly." His voice drops to something that's meant to be consoling but because Victor has the bedside manner of the kind of mad scientist that he is, it's condescending.

Thankfully, Henry either doesn't recognize the tone or ignores it.

"She's not fighting about staying overnight?" Snow asks. It's a ridiculous question for anyone else, but she knows Regina well enough to know that her former stepmother will always fight being kept anywhere against her will.

Even if it's for her own good.

"She's pretty drained," Whale says. "They may be doing all right, but there were a few minutes there when neither one of them was. She needs rest."

He steps away then, walking back through the doors.

"You knew?" Snow queries, looking over at Henry.

"She doesn't lie to me anymore," Henry says softly. "And I'm her son."

"There was so much blood," Robin observes and he's still frowning deeply to himself. Like he's trying to turn all of this new information around in his head.

Like he's trying to understand everything and what it means for him.

For them.

But there is no "them" and...

"I bled heavily during the first trimester of carrying Neal," Snow reassures him, her hand on his forearm, the touch and her voice drawing him back to the now. "Once I was back here, when I was doing some research, I read one out of five women experience some degree of bleeding during pregnancy."

Robin' gives her a disbelieving look, like he's wondering if that information is supposed to somehow reassure him about all of this. But then Snow is smiling gently at him and lightly squeezing the hand that she has on his forearm.

And he gets it that he's not alone in his confusion or his fear.

It's appreciated.

But it doesn't stop the questions in his head.

Like the one about whether or not he is - in fact - the father.

* * *

><p>"Hi," Regina whispers tiredly, reaching for Henry's hand once he seats himself in the chair next to her bed. She's hooked up to what seems like a dozen machines and if that wasn't already bad enough, her pale complexion and clear fatigue sends shocks of worry up and down him.<p>

He's never seen her like this.

Never wants to see it again.

"You scared me," he tells her as he weaves his fingers in with hers.

"I know. And I'm sorry. I didn't…I should have known. I felt something strange the last time I tried to use my magic, but I didn't really think much of it. It never occurred to me that the baby would reject what was inside of me." She shakes her head, tears in her eyes and only the fact that it's her son standing here instead of an adult stops her from letting so much more of her fear out.

Like the fear that she will be rejected by this child at every stage.

Like the fear that she already has been and all she's doing right now is delaying the inevitable heartbreaking loss of yet another second chance.

Maybe that's what the violent morning sickness had been about and -

"Dr. Whale said the baby is okay," Henry states. "She stayed with us. Which means that Operation Runt is still on. We just need to up our game a little."

"We don't know if it's a girl," Regina tells him, her voice weak and trembling. She shouldn't be letting Henry see this, but she's too worn down to prevent it.

"I'm deciding it's a girl. And she stayed with us." He says this again, firmly, his green eyes sparking in a way that reminds her off all that her son has been through. He's the birth son of the Savior and the adoptive son of the Evil Queen. He can claim bloodlines to Snow White, Prince Charming, Peter Pan and the Dark One. And he's been through more than a few trials all his own.

So when he looks back at her, he's daring her to dispute his words and she can't do it. "Fine," she sighs. "Then start thinking up names for a little girl."

"I can -" he stops short when he sees Emma appear at the doorway.

"Hey," Emma says as she steps in. Then to Regina, "How are you feeling?"

"Tired and sore. And irritated by Victor. I really didn't want him near me."

"Yeah, sorry about that. But it was him or Doc. And Doc was doing poker night with his brothers when they brought you in from whatmy parents told me. And you were bleeding which means that time was…of the essence."

"Of course. I understand," Regina murmurs and then flexes her hands. It's weird to still feel the magic flickering inside of her and yet to now know that it's not only potentially dangerous to her on a mental level (when out of control, she quickly adds), but also possibly lethal to her on a physical one.

It's unsettling and terrifying and she's just too tired for all of this.

Which Emma seems to notice. "Hey, Kid, visiting hours are almost over and your mom realy needs her rest. How about we get out of here and let her?"

"I'd like to stay."

"Henry," Regina starts.

"Please?" Softer, more pleading, green eyes wide and needy.

Regina looks up at Emma and it's like they're both trying to figure out what the right parenting move is here. But then Regina is sighing and Emma is nodding because that's their way of coming to consensus. "Fine, but you haven't eaten dinner yet. Let's get some into you and then you can stay."

"Okay," he agrees. And then he stiffens up. "You're trying to get me out of the room, aren't you?" He glances down the hallway. "Is Robin Hood out there?"

Emma looks over at Regina. "He'd like to speak to you. He has questions."

Regina chuckles dryly at that and then winces.

"But if you're not ready, I'll run interference again and tell him that you're too tired for it tonight. And you are so it's not really a lie, but even if it were, I promised you that I would…I promised you that I'd help you through this."

"You did and you've more than kept your promise. " She sighs. "But I do need to actually have this conversation with him. Better now than later, I suppose."

"Are you going to tell him?" Henry asks, his head cocked in curiosity.

Regina just smiles thinly - sadly - in response.

* * *

><p>"I think I could go the rest of my life without ever seeing that again," Robin states as he steps into the room, entering as Emma and Henry leave.<p>

"You've seen me bleeding before," Regina reminds him as she adjusts in the bed, wincing again but then quickly holding up a hand to stop his approach.

"True, and I hated it then as well. But this is…this is worse." He does still step closer to the bed, his eyes flickering down to her blanket covered belly. The blanket is thin enough that he can see the slightest swell now, just enough.

To let him know that the woman he's in love with is carrying a child.

He licks his lips. "We should talk, yeah?"

"Yes," Regina agrees, her voice rough with emotion. "We probably should."

**TBC...**


	5. Chapter 5

He shuffles his feet for a moment, as if he's waiting for Regina to speak first, but all she does is pick at the loose strands on the blanket that's covering her legs and belly and all that does is bring his eyes to the gentle slope of that belly once again.

Finally, quietly, "Is the child mine?"

"Right to the point, then," she chuckles but the sound of it is neither throaty nor especially high and so he can't really put a handle on what she's feeling right now beyond clear anxiety. After a moment, her lips spread outwards and for such a stunningly beautiful woman, it's a decidedly grotesque look.

He starts to say her name, to ask again, to ask for the truth.

And then she lies right to his face, "No," she says, looking right up at him, her dark eyes disturbingly unreadable. "It's not yours."

"Then who?"

"How is that any concern of yours?" Her voice has altered and it's vaguely close to the high haughty tone that she'd used on him during their year of often being sparring partners in the Enchanted Forest. Then, though, she'd been going to great effort to keep him at arms' length by being cold to him.

This? This is pure meanness.

She's trying to hurt him.

It's probably deserved considering the heartbreak that he's put her through, he admits.

Still, he'd be lying were he to state that her efforts hadn't been successful.

They had been. They are.

He hurts.

"The baby is four months old," Robin notes. "According to the doctor."

"Your point?"

He meets her eyes once again, even as she tries to look away from him, even as she tries to deny their connection and refuse to let him back inside her heart.

"It was about four months ago when we together." It feels foolish to have to remind her of this because of course she knows this well - earlier that same day she'd been openly hurting about their separation just as much as he had.

But now she's playing a different game, and he's pretty sure he knows why.

"And then Marian came back. And I took care of my needs in another way. Believe it or not, Thief, you are not the only one who could pleasure a Queen." Her tone reminds high and sharp, but there's a betraying tremor to it. And the titles she uses to build distance between them, they expose her as well.

"Why are you lying to me?" Robin asks. It's almost a plea.

"How dare you -"

"You barely left the mansion."

"Does that make you happy to know?" she counters, rapidly spinning the conversation around and refusing to let him find the grounding he needs to properly challenge her. It's unfair and her heart aches at what she's doing, but she doesn't know what else to do to keep this from exploding again.

"Do you think so very little of me that you would believe that I would ever enjoy you hurt for any reason?" Robin challenges. "Because I think - I would very much hope - that you know better than that. I don't enjoy any of this."

She scowls at him because yes, she does.

"Why wouldn't you just tell me?" he presses. And it's in that moment when she knows that any attempt that she makes to try to convince him that there was someone else and that he's not the father are futile; he's looking right into her and he's seeing her heart and her soul and he can see the lie, too.

Her shoulders sag even as she considers picking up the glass of water on the tray next to her bed and hurling it at right at his head. If she can't use magic or fire right now, well at least she still has her arm and she's not a terrible shot.

But no, perhaps now is the time to try to be an adult about all of this.

Now is time to be mature and in charge and explain how this will go.

"Because I don't want you involved," she finally answers. "This is…this isn't your problem, Robin. This is something that I can handle all on my own."

"You must be joking. It's not a problem -"

"Of course it is," she snaps back, her face flushing. She feels a an odd sensation in the middle of her, then. It's like a strange numbing feeling that suddenly shoots up and down her, making her brain feel a bit foggy. Shaking it off, she growls out, "I shouldn't be the only one of us that remembers your wife. You do recall her, yes? The one that I killed in an alternate timeline?"

He flinches at that, but quickly recovers. "I'm not just going to leave you to deal with this on your own," Robin protests, his blue eyes sparking.

"Because of your precious honor, yes, I know," she chides. The words come out harsh and bitter, and they're meant to because right now she's tired and sore and she's hurting so very much and Regina just desperately wants this to not be as complicated as it is, but there's no easy way out of any of this.

Carrying Robin's baby isn't a magic bullet for their problems. It doesn't change the fact that his wife - his first love and the mother of his first child - is alive and well. It doesn't change the fact that for the notorious Evil Queen to get back together with the legendary heroic Prince of Thieves, Robin will have to tear a precious piece of himself out - the battle-worn part of him that has clung so desperately to a code of honor for so long - and burn it.

For them to be together, Robin will have to chose love over honor and in doing so, probably destroy every bit of that which has made him this man.

She wants to ask him to do exactly that, thinks that she has every right to ask for such a thing of him, but then she thinks about who it was exactly that she'd fallen for. It'd been the man who had followed her through the dark tunnels beneath her castle even though all he'd known of her back then had been her violent reputation and he'd done it for the sake of the honor of repaying a debt. She'd fallen for a man who had torn himself down the middle for sacrificing her heart - the only logical choice - in order to protect his son.

In spite of all common sense, she had stumbled into love with a man of honor and though she desperately wants to, she can't begrudge him that code now.

At least not with her heart.

Her caustic sharply pointed words are another matter entirely.

"You have a wife and a child, Robin. I am neither of those things."

"So I'm just supposed to -"

"Yes, because you made your choice. And now I've made mine."

"But we -"

"I need you to leave."

"Fine, I'll leave. But I'm not going to let you go through this alone."

"It's not your choice to make. Not this one."

"Regina -"

"And she's not alone," Henry says from the doorway, Emma and Snow standing right behind him. Emma's frowning a bit, her eyes on the vital read-out machines. Regina's blood pressure is rising and even without that, Emma can tell that she's getting more and more agitated despite her quiet voice.

Robin looks from Regina to Henry. His confusion and uncertainty as he tries to fight himself not to lose his temper and tries to respect her right to make the choices in this matter thanks to the choices that he's made are clearly at war with each other. But then he turns back to Regina and says in a tone that's so deeply sincere and honest, "Let me be here for you, please? Please."

"I won't be an obligation. You already have one lover who is and I doubt that when she finally realizes it, she will appreciate it anymore than I would."

It's a hideously low-blow and it's like the little one inside of her can feel the pain of both her parents because suddenly the child is anxious and excited and Regina is groaning in pain and doubling forward, her teeth grit.

She hears the others in the room calling for her - sees Robin approaching and for a split second she almost reaches for him, but then she holds out her hand to him because if she lets him in now, she'll never push him away.

_Don't be selfish. Don't be selfish. Don't be selfish._

Be better than that.

For Henry. For this baby.

For herself.

"You people are a menace," she hears Victor exclaim as he comes charging into the room like he's some kind of grand savior. Her eyes flicker up to him and even though they'll full of tears, she glares at him and says, "Doc."

"Regina -"

"I want Doc."

"I'll pick him up," Snow inserts. "I had him on stand-by, anyway." She looks over at Henry. "Why don't you come with me and David to go get him?"

"No! I'm gonna stay here and -"

"Kid, it's fine. I promise. Go get who your mom needs, all right?"

He looks over at Regina and it's her tight-lipped nod that reluctantly convinces him to leave with his grandmother a few moments later.

"I'm the best there is," Whale protests once the door closes behind them.

"And she doesn't want you near her," Robin states.

"Looks like she doesn't want you near her, either," Whale snaps back.

"Enough," Emma says, getting in-between the two men quickly. "Whale, do a quick check on her and tell us if she's all right and then get out of here."

"Fine," he replies tersely. "But it;s a mistake having anyone else but me be the one taking care of this pregnancy, Regina. You know it is. This baby is already reacting poorly to your magic. Magic that I understand. But by all means, have a dwarf who spent most of his days delivering fawns in the forest be the one to take care of you and this child. But don't say I didn't warn you."

Emma reaches out just in time to stop Robin from letting his frustration - already to the point of explosion - get the best of him. Her hand circles his wrist and she hisses out, "Whale's a dick, but don't let him get to you."

Robin nods slowly, but his hands are still tense and tight and he watches every move that Whale makes, thinking about the healers that had once worked on Marian and failed. Only magic from the Dark One had saved her.

That feels so long ago and even thinking about Marian sends a jolt of deep soul-crushing agony tearing through him. Because he loves his wife dearly and always will, but apparently it is possible to fall out of that kind of love and to then find it with another. He hates the idea of hurting her, loathes the idea of hurting Regina and knows he's hurting both of these women terribly.

He also has no idea what to do to make it better.

So he does what he can and he focuses on the right now and how the beepng of the machines is oddly calming even if the sounds are new to him.

He focuses on the sound of Regina's breathing, and how it's better. Calmer.

His eyes swoop downwards and sees her hand settled over her belly again, her head also lowered. It looks to him like she's whispering to herself.

"She's all right?" he asks Whale, his voice weary.

"No thanks to any of you," he snaps and then he's out of the room.

"In this world, we call him a drama queen," Emma notes.

"I think I preferred the first thing that you called him."

"Dick?"

"It fits better."

Emma chuckles at that and then they're both are walking towards Regina.

"I'm fine," she says. "I don't think this little one has a fondness for arguing."

"Then perhaps we shouldn't argue," Robin suggests, his tone light like he's trying to kill the tension in the room. It's a solid enough attempt, but in vain.

"You know it's not that easy, Robin. I won't -" she closes her eyes and she's saying those words again and again to herself. It's such a mantra to her these days that she almost dreams the words. "I won't be what causes you to sacrifice your honor. You made your choice and now we have to deal with it."

"I want - if you - I would like to be in this child's life," he pleads.

"We can talk about that later," she sighs, her head falling back to the pillow.

It's not a no, he realizes.

It's not the yes that he realizes that he desperately wants, but it'll have to do.

For now, anyway.

* * *

><p>The door opens and Doc and Henry and Snow and David are entering.<p>

As Doc steps in and starts ushering everyone out with great flaps of his little hands, Emma takes Robin's arm and says, "We're all about to get kicked out of here for the night for good so how about you and I go get a drink?"

He tilts his head and looks at her; they've worked together for many months now and it's been a good relationship but never an out-of-work kind. But her eyes are kind and she seems to understand how fast his mind is whirling.

So he nods his head slowly and says, "That would be appreciated."

He looks back over at Regina just before he follows Emma out of the room and their eyes meet. She offers him something of a smile and he returns it.

Because they both know that an impossible situation has just gotten worse.

* * *

><p>"You can go home, Snow," Regina mumbles when it's just the two of them in the room; Henry is off with David rounding up a cot for him to sleep in.<p>

"I know and I will. I just…you could have told me."

"You would have pushed me to tell Robin."

"I only want you to be happy."

"Destroying that man and everything that he built himself into won't make me happy as much as a very large part of me thinks that it might. I have hurt so many people in my life all because I was selfish and angry and I want to be both of things now, but if I'm going to be the mother that I wasn't always for Henry, if I am going to be worthy of this child, I can't be selfish anymore."

"Regina, wanting to be happy isn't selfish"

"I can't believe that I'm saying this, but…maybe not. But doing it at the expense of someone else is. I took her away from him thirty years ago."

"Marian?"

"Yes."

"He loves you."

"This is why I didn't tell you. Because you make it all sound so simple."

Snow looks down at her hands and nods. "I know. I'm sorry. This really isn't a simple situation at all, is it? No matter what happens, someone gets -"

"Hurt," Regina finishes. "And I don't care which is why I have to try to."

"You were a good mother to Henry," Snow offers up.

"If that were the case, you would still be in a haze and we wouldn't be having this conversation," Regina replies dryly. "You were right in what you said a few months ago - I let Henry believe that he wasn't loved and that didn't have a family. True or false, that's what my son believed and this child will not."

"If you'll let me, I'd like to help you."

"Robin said that, too," Regina comments.

"And?"

"Go home, Snow."

"That wasn't an answer."

"I've had a very long day; I don't have to supply anymore answers tonight."

She is smiling just a bit when she says this and it's enough to make Snow chuckle because this is familiar and she knows when Regina is pushing her away and when she's not. For once, the shove is gentle and not a denial.

"Okay," Snow answers and then stands up. Just before she steps out, she says, "The reason you didn't tell me, was it because I can't keep a secret?"

"Would you have kept it?"

Snow looks at her for a long moment, her eyes growing dark with emotion before she says softly and with surprising vehemence, "With my last breath."

"You know you don't owe me anymore," Regina tells her. "Our past is -"

"Our past. So consider this part of our future. I don't look at it as owing you but rather as being here for someone I love dearly and always have."

And then with a satisfied nod of her head, Snow White leaves the room.

And Regina thinks, as her eyelids droop and she allows exhaustion to take her, that Snow has become pretty damned good at dramatic exits, too.

**TBC...**


	6. Chapter 6

Eyebrows lift as the Sheriff of Storybrooke enters the Rabbit Hold with her very stressed out looking Deputy walking just a few inches behind her. She motions over towards the booth in the far darkened corner and off his nod of agreement, they both cross over and slide into the opposite benches.

"JD?" she asks.

"Is that -"

"Whiskey."

"Ah, yes. I've taken a bit of liking to it," Robin acknowledges. He frowns for a long moment, like he's remembering something far different. Perhaps something less complicated than the utter disaster that his life has become.

"This whole mess is a fuck-up and a half, isn't it?" Emma notes after she orders their drinks from an entirely too curious waitress. When Robin laughs at the apt description, Emma adds in a wry tone, "Welcome to Storybrooke."

"I could do with a bit less drama," he admits.

"So could we all, but this is what we have and you have choices to make."

"You make it sound so easy."

"Nah. I've been in some messy spots before but I have to admit that this one is…well, it's definitely unique." She accepts the glass of whiskey and then clinks it against Robin's before continuing. "You have two strong women who both love you and you care about both. One of them is your first wife and -"

"First love," Robin admits as he sips the drink, savoring the burn. "I fell for her the moment I laid my eyes on her." He shakes his head as he remembers seeing Marian across a courtyard and noticing just how simple and elegant her beauty had been.

Even being the son of a noble, he'd known that she'd been above him.

But she'd seen something special inside him, been drawn towards him and adored him in spite of all of sins and he in return had loved her so deeply and so desperately and it almost hurts now that he no longer does.

"First love," Emma echoes. "And the other is?"

"My soulmate."

"Because of pixie dust?"

He smiles slightly, thoughtfully. "Because when I'm with Regina, I feel like I'm alive. I feel like every part of me is buzzing and breathing and…I didn't even know about the pixie dust or the whole soulmates business when I met her. All I knew was that there was this impressive woman with a lot of ugly stories written about her and for all the stories claimed of her, what I saw was simply a heartbroken mother. Don't mistake me, I know full well who Regina has been and I have something of an idea of what she's capable of from the stories, but I also know who she is now and who I spent almost a year battling beside."

"And who was that?"

"A pain in the ass who fought like hell to protect her once mortal enemy."

Emma chuckles at that and thinks of the craziness of their lives. "So Regina is the one that you want to be with now, right? The one you're in love with."

"Marian is my wife."

"You didn't answer the question."

"Because it doesn't matter," Robin weakly protests. "I made Marian a promise and I won't abandon her to this strange land just because…I won't do it."

"This is going to come off harsh and I know it's not really my business, but have you thought about what Marian might want here? She's still completely in love with you, but I doubt she wants you with her because of an old vow."

"It's not old to her."

Emma dips her head in acknowledgment of this. "And now the baby?"

Robin just shakes his head.

"Hello rock and a hard place," Emma notes.

"Indeed. So tell me, what is your grand advice for me?"

"Who said I had any advice? I brought you out here to drink and to catch your breathe. What I said before is true: this is a fuck-up of a situation and I don't think there's a simple quick way around it. Someone is going to get hurt."

"Did you know about her pregnancy the whole time?" he asks.

"Not the whole time, but I knew. And it wasn't my place to tell." When he starts to protest, she stops him and adds, "This is between you and her, Robin. I can offer to be your boss and your occasional drinking buddy, but I can't make any of this simpler for you. It's probably not supposed to be."

"No," he agrees. "I suppose not. I don't want to hurt either of them."

"Regina already is hurt. So are you. And if I had to guess, Marian may not understand all of what's happening, but she feels the distance from you and that hurts her. You have to figure this out; there are no easy answers here."

He inclines his head. "All right, then, is there at least a right answer to how to approach the baby? In my world, it wouldn't even be an issue; the men there had rights and she wouldn't be able to stop me from claiming the child, but I was never terribly fond of that kind of ownership principle there and I well imagine that it doesn't exist here as this world seems far more…"

"Evolved?" Emma offers. He nods. "Yeah, a bit more. As for what to do about the kid, you do what you did earlier. You let Regina know you want to be involved and then you let her take the lead on what comes next."

"So back off?"

"Give her space. This whole experience is pretty new for her as well."

"She has Henry."

"Different situation, different times. Also, not involved in one of the most bizarre love triangles that I've ever seen and this is coming from someone who was in the middle of one involving her son's father and the guy who wanted to be his father." She laughs at this but there's a sadness to her eyes as she thinks about Neal and the things she'd never gotten to say to him.

That's the past now and it really is all about trying to move forward.

Which makes this situation with Robin and Regina so much more painful because moving forward with Regina is exactly why Robin's in this mess.

Well, that and a questionable choice from her to bring someone back from the past; even Emma has to admit the considerable contribution of that.

"I want to be there for her."

"You want to be there for Marian, too."

"And people wonder why I prefer the simplicity of the forest," he jokes.

"Stars or the birds?"

"Stars. The birds can be a bit aggravating to wake up to every morning."

Emma chuckles at that and then finishes her drink in one swallow. "Are you going to tell Marian about this? About Regina being pregnant?"

"I think I have to, don't I?"

"It's the honorable thing to do."

He smiles grimly at that, like he's starting to feel the weight of that honor.

"I'll see you in the morning," she says as she stands up. Once up, she leans back down towards the table. "I'm no expert on love; I've screwed it up so many times now that I could write a book on how not to do it wrong, but I do understand that it's rare and precious and you only get so many chances."

"I know," Robin replies softly and then brings his glass to his lips again.

* * *

><p>She comes to around three in the morning to find her son wide-awake, flipping through the latest issue of Iron Man. He keeps yawning but for whatever reason, he's refusing to succumb to his obvious exhaustion.<p>

"Henry," she croaks out, wincing at the feeble sound of her own voice.

"Hey, Mom," he says, leaning forward and offering her a smile.

"Why aren't you sleeping?"

"Couldn't."

"Henry…I thought we talked about this. It's not your job to protect me."

"We talked about it," he agrees. "But I'm your son. You know, I saw Archie tonight and he told me that it's completely normal for the son of a single mother to be very protective over her. Well, this is us being normal, Mom."

"What else did he say?"

"What?"

"I know Archie. He butters you up before he drops the lesson on you."

"He told me that it wasn't my job to take care of you," he mutters.

"See?"

"Who else, then?"

"Well, your other mother and your grandmother seem to have appointed themselves as my…whatever they think that they are. Which means -"

"And Robin? What about him?"

"What are you asking?" she queries as she sits up in the bed, wincing.

"I'm not. I'm just…it's okay if you're angry at him and don't want him to be around. You and me, Mom, we can take care of this. Just us if we need to. This is our thing, right? Our Operation Runt. You don't need him. We don't."

She smiles and then reaches out to touch his face. "Are you angry at him?"

"Me? Why-"

"Henry."

He sighs. "He hurt you. He was supposed to be your second chance and your new start and you earned it. You were so happy and…this isn't fair, Mom."

"Oh, sweetheart. No, it's not fair. None of this fair, but…maybe this is…you know the story. You know what I did to Marian. At least what I did in the timeline before it was changed. Maybe this is…fate fixing my…evils."

"You've fixed your evils," he insists. "And you earned this."

"It's not that simple."

"How many times are you going to have to pay for the past?"

"I don't know," she admits. "Until I have. But what I do know is that Robin isn't to blame for this. He's trying to be honorable and be a good man and -"

"He loves you. How is being with someone he doesn't love honorable?"

"You know that gray that you've learned to accept in me? That's where this whole situation exists. Robin did nothing wrong here. If anyone did, it was me and as hurt and upset as I am, I am trying to be the person who can accept that and not…I am trying to be someone you can always be proud of."

"I am proud of you," he tells her.

"Good. Then close your eyes, my precious boy, and sleep. Please."

"Fine." He leans back on the cot, his eyes closing. "So do we want an old world name for her or a modern world one? Like Annabelle or Cindy Lou?"

Regina scowls. "I think we'd better buy a book," she suggests. And then because Henry is grinning, she finds herself doing the exact same thing.

That's when she feels it. More than just a vague sense of stirring within her unlike before; this is actual movement. It's slight, but she's sure of it.

So she settles her hand over her belly and lets her eyes close once again.

* * *

><p>Even as a young boy, Robin had always favored the night over the day. It had driven his mother insane because there were when he'd crawl from his bed and slip out through the window simply so he could sit on the roof and stare at the sky above. One fairly cool winter night she'd come to sit with him and told him that he had big life ahead of him and needed to think about the expectations that others would put on him being his father's heir. He'd asked her if such a life would be forced upon him or if would be free to choose otherwise. She'd kissed him lightly on the head and said, "My sweet boy, we have our paths to travel and they're seldom ours to choose. The best that you can do, my Robin, is be the best man that you can when you're upon that path. Make me proud."<p>

He'd given her an odd look, not seeming to understand the turbulent emotions swirling beneath her surface. She'd had tears in her eyes and he hadn't known why. When he'd asked, tried to grasp the pain he'd seen there, she'd urged him to be quiet and just enjoy the stillness of the night. Enjoy the peace of it.

She'd been dead three days later.

He thinks about that now, thinks about what his father had told him as a child - a thief broke in and killed her.

But his father's knuckles had been bruised and torn.

And the bag that his mother had always traveled with had been missing.

As a man, Robin had put the pieces together. Figured out that his mother had been fleeing his father. She'd likely been hoping that if she left Robin behind, his father wouldn't feel the need to pursue. And she'd been praying that Robin' position as the heir to the estate and the quickest to marry would protect him.

She likely would have been right (though after understanding all of these things, he'd fought back anger at her attempting to leave him and then fury at himself for not protecting her better). In any case, his father or one of his goons had likely caught her and well, Father had never been a man to accept losses.

He'll never forget her funeral.

And he'll never forget her words.

Now, standing on the porch of Regina's mansion, he thinks about his mother. Thinks about the honor that had tied him up so much.

He kneels slightly, places a folded up piece of paper and a simple flower down.

And hopes it delivers its message well.

* * *

><p>Whale suggests that she stay for a few more days just so that tests can be run to ensure the safety of the baby, but Doc is quick to reassure her that it's fine for her to return to the mansion as long as she rests. He tells her that he's happy (well, he says "fine with") to be her primary doctor on this, but she's quick to let him off the hook by telling him that she has one of her own.<p>

One she needs to make an appointment with just to verify things.

She'll just have to leave out the part about the baby reacting poorly to her magic. That is unless she wants to end up in the psych ward overnight.

All of that can be done tomorrow, though; right now, all she wants is to get home, take a nice long hot bath and get changed into something loose and comfortable. She's still adjusting and adapting to the new changes in her body and the need for more breathing room is definitely part of it.

Which makes the trick all about finding classy maternity clothes.

Regina laughs out loud in the hospital room (as she's pulling on her shoes - flats instead of heels) at the absurdity of this thought. Never in a million years had she ever believed that she would ever be buying such terrible clothes.

For herself, anyway.

And yet the baby is suddenly making herself known (Regina has started calling it a her even though there's the risk of being disappointed if it's not a girl, but then that, too, is laughable because truly, healthy is all she cares about after all the times she'd never had the chance to give birth) and she seems intent on letting her mother know that she's around at all times.

It's weird and unnerving and fantastic and even Henry (and Snow who really shouldn't be as fascinated with this considering her own recent birth) had been tickled at getting to feel his baby sister kicking away inside his mom.

"Regina?" she hears and there's Snow and David. Waiting for her. Henry is at school and Emma is at work and so apparently they're her escort team.

She sighs and tells them again, "I can make it home on my own."

"Doc said you needed rest," David reminds her.

"Fine, but I'm not sitting in the wheelchair and if Whale thinks I am -"

"We already told him that you wouldn't," Snow says. "He's sulking."

"Typical." She reaches down and grabs her bag. "Let's go home."

* * *

><p>She's walking up the step towards her house with Snow and David when she sees the flower and the piece of white paper in front of the door.<p>

The flower is pink around the edges and outside of it, an explosive and almost regal purple leading inwards and then yellow in the middle. It's a common wildflower found in the forest and though she thinks it almost childish to be touched by this simple gift, she finds herself smiling at it.

"From Robin?" Snow queries.

Regina bends to pick up the note and the flower, scowling at David when he looks like he might try to do it for her. She opens the note and reads it.

Her smile widening before she catches herself, she nods.

"Yes," Regina says, tucking the note into her pocket. She stands back up with a groan, unlocks the door, opens it and steps inside her house.

And then, as if recognizing that she's home, the baby inside of her kicks.

**TBC...**


	7. Chapter 7

Marian stands up when she hears his boots approaching, heavy as always, but slow in a way that's unusual for her husband. The man that she loves.

The man that she is starting to accept that she no longer knows as she once did; it doesn't come so easy, truly, but it coming and with each moment of knowledge comes a dreadful realization that their time is running out.

That is assuming it hasn't already done so for them and now they're just living on the fumes of what they'd once had so many years ago.

But Marian's not willing to give up just yet. Not if there's still a chance.

Even the smallest of chances for them.

"Robin," she greets and forces a smile across her lips that she doesn't feel.

"Marian," he says quietly. She can tell that he's been drinking, but he's far from drunk. Still, he looks troubled and that troubles her as well.

"What is it?" she asks, her head lifted high. Because she has this feeling, this instinctive understanding that this has to do with the other woman.

The Evil Queen.

The woman that her Robin had fallen in love with.

"We need to talk," Robin says and he at least does her the dignity of not looking away from her when he says this. He meets her head-on and she sees confusion and sorrow in his light blue eyes. "I found something out tonight."

"Shall we take a walk, then?" she asks, looking around to see a few of the men still lurking about. Most have turned in, but enough are still hovering about.

He looks over his shoulder at the tents. "Roland?"

"Sleeping soundly." She offers Robin her hand.

"You may not want to do that when you hear what I have to say."

"You are still my friend," Marian insists. "So walk with me and tell me."

* * *

><p>When she wakes up in the morning, the first thing that Regina hears is the tip-tap drumbeat of the rain hitting the side of the house. It's a lovely sound and it almost lulls her back into a peaceful slumber, her hand settled lightly across her belly, but then she hears voices. They're low and hard to make out, but there are definitely more than one and Henry never plays the TV that loud.<p>

Which means that they have guests.

And she has a pretty good idea just who those guests might be.

Regina groans and sits up and it's like the little one suddenly realizes that nap-time is now over for her as well and then she's moving around and adjusting and suddenly Regina feels both just a bit calmer and like she needs to pee desperately.

She mumbles something that's a half-sarcastic but mostly annoyed thank you to the baby, relieves her bladder and then throws on a bathrobe and heads down the stairs. Normally she wouldn't dare step towards company looking like this, but this is her house and well, she really does know who's there.

She'd known the moment Snow had found out about the baby that she wouldn't be able to stay away and sure enough, day one she's at the house.

She lifts an eyebrow as she enters the kitchen. "Henry, why are they here?"

He grins over at her and it warms her just a bit how little he buys her bluster now. On the other hand, it's also annoying because it makes it harder to be off-putting when no one buys that you're much of a real threat anymore.

"Morning, Regina," David says, baby Neal tucked against him, held in place by a front-facing carrying pouch. "We brought by some breakfast."

"And coffee?"

"No coffee," Snow reminds her.

"I'm allowed a cup."

"It's easier and better if you don't allow yourself any at all."

"Trust me, it won't be easier or better for anyone if I'm uncaffeinated."

"Fresh squeezed orange juice," David states. "And pastries."

"Mm. This isn't going to happen every morning is it? Because if you think-"

"No," Snow assures her. "But you were in the hospital last night."

"Mom," Henry soothes. "Remember? It's nice to have family."

She scowls at him. "Guilt trip not needed."

He just grins at her again and then reaches for the croissants. As he does so, she's hit by a memory of the first time that he'd tried to say the word and just how badly he'd mangled it. But he'd kept try. Her persistent little knight. "Well I think it's nice; Grams was helping me come up with names for the Runt."

"No."

"Regina -"

"No offense, Snow, but…" she trails off and just forces an almost pained smile instead because there really is no nice way to say that she really doesn't see herself taking naming advice from someone who named their son after the man who had impregnated their daughter at age seventeen.

"Yes?" Snow prompts, something of a sly grin on her face. Because she'd been waiting for one of Regina's sarcasm specials and seems almost amused that Regina had pulled back rather than offend her. And it's true.

Which makes Regina groan and reach for the orange juice.

"So," Snow says, not nearly as subtle as she thinks. "The note from Robin."

"Note from Robin?" Henry asks, his entire body tensing. Despite his conversation with his mom about Robin and not blaming him, he's finding it very hard to have sympathy or understanding for the man right now.

"He left me a note and that," Regina says, indicating towards the lovely pink-purple-yellow flower that's sitting on the counter. There's only one of them so there's no sense in putting it in water, but what to do with it?

She's not a silly little girl or a hopeless romantic so displaying it is out of the question, but it's hard to surrender such a lovely gift and so she won't.

She just hasn't decided how to preserve it just yet.

"What did the note say?" Snow asks, not at all innocently.

"It said…" she pauses for effect."Mind your own business, Snow."

"Fine," Snow chirps and finishes up her cup of coffee in two gulps.

It's Henry that gets them back on-track. "Are you okay?"

"I am," Regina reassures him. "And the baby is as well. We're all okay."

"Have you thought about what to do about your magic?" David asks.

"You mean because even using it a little causes distress to the baby?"

David and Snow both nod. "I'm guessing just not using it isn't an option."

"It's an option but not an easy one. Sometimes I use magic when I'm sleeping. If I have a dream about the past or something tht…well, it can activate itself."

"What about the cuff? I know it brings back bad memories, but -"

"It does, but if it was an option, I'd consider it," Regina replies grimly, allowing a brief shudder of revulsion as she thinks about the two days that she had spent wearing that wretched thing. "Unfortunately, " she continues. "All that awful cuff did was lock the magic inside of me like heat inside of a furnace. Which might be even more dangerous for the baby in the long run. No, what I need to do is find a way to temporarily turn my magic off completely."

"So maybe we should go see my grandfather," Henry suggests.

"Oh I bet Rumple would love that," Regina sighs, but it's not a no.

It should be a no because she knows the threat involved in ever involving Rumplestilskin in anything - especially anything to do with a baby from her family line - but she realizes that for this child, there's nothing she won't do.

"Belle might be there," Henry reminds her. "And even if she's not, I will be."

Regina starts to protest because her sweet not so little anymore prince just isn't accepting that it's not her job to protect her but then David is nodding.

"I'll join you," he says as he drinks from his cup of coffee.

"That's not necessary. I can more than handle Rumple on my own."

"Of course you can," Snow agrees and she probably doesn't quite mean for it to come off as so openly humoring as it does, but it's Snow and she really doesn't know how to not sound like a school teacher coddling a child.

A really petulant child.

"But?" Regina drawls. Because there's always one of those.

"Considering the plans that he put in place for Emma, I think it wise to take all of the precautions necessary whenever we ask him for help with a baby."

Well okay, that's pretty factual and to the point and not really arguable.

Still, Regina says softly, frowning, "I played my part in that as well."

"We're well aware," David notes. "But you didn't make a baby the Savior."

"No. It really wouldn't have been in my best interests." She sighs. "Fine."

"Fine? As in fine, he can join you?"

"Fine, but you let me do the talking, Charming."

David inclines his head in agreement.

"And Henry -"

"I'm coming. Period. So let's not argue about this."

Snow looks at David. "Emma or Regina?"

"Both, I think. They're both stubborn as hell."

"What are you two idiots on about now?"

"Oh, they keep deciding which parts of me are you or Emma's."

Regina huffs at that and then reaches out for David's cup of coffee.

The baby kicks. Hard.

"Oh, no you don't," Regina scolds.

"Baby not like it?" Snow asks as she accepts Neal from David.

"She's just moving around." She reaches for the coffee again.

And gets kicked again.

So she grabs the orange juice once more, and turns towards the stairs.

"I'll be down in twenty minutes."

If she stomps up the stairs (and she does), no one comments on it.

* * *

><p>Rumple looks up from the counter and the ledger that's open atop it when the door chimes and Regina enters with David and Henry at her side. His face immediately breaks out into an overly large insincere smile. "Well if it isn't the expecting mother. I understand congratulations are in order, Your Majesty."<p>

"Where's your better half?" Regina snaps back immediately.

"Still sleeping. I'm sure I can help you, though. You are here for me, yes?"

"Maybe I'm not. Maybe I'm just here looking for a new book to read."

Rumple smiles knowingly at her.

She rolls her eyes. "You know about my history with miscarriages."

"Of course."

"Were they all caused by my magic?"

"They were caused by your body."

She flinches at that and practically hits David. His hand steadies against her arm and that's enough to make her re-focus herself. "But I healed?"

"Time does wonders."

"Perhaps it does, but...this baby is sensitive to my magic."

"So I heard," he answers. "It's not terribly surprising. Children are by nature innocent and your magic is far greater now than it was. Much…darker."

"Hey," Henry says immediately.

"It's fine, sweetheart; he's right. And that's why we're here. I need a way to protect this child from my magic. Abstaining from using won't be enough."

"Still using magic in your sleep, are you?"

"Gold," David growls.

"Was it really necessary to bring Charming sized back-up? And your boy as well? It almost makes me think that you don't trust me," Rumple chuckles. "Not the best way to start a new business arrangement, I would think."

"I don't trust you," she reminds him.

"And I don't trust you. Regardless of that, you do need me."

"We do," Henry says and then stops forward brave and bold. Regina puts out a hand to stop his approach but he side-steps it and goes right up to his grandfather. "My little sister is in there and I want to meet her. Help us."

"Little sister?"

"He's certain it's a girl," Regina says warily. "But we don't know for sure."

"But get any thoughts you're having of repeating Emma out of your mind."

Gold chuckles. "You need my help," he says once again. "And though I have little to no interest in ever helping you, Regina, for my grandson, I am willing to assist. But as you well know, dearie, there is always a price for my services."

"And what is it this time?"

"Are you willing to make the same deal Miss Swan did? Owe me a favor."

She looks over at David and then at Henry. Both of them seem to be telling her not to make this deal, suggesting that it's too dangerous. But there's something else in David's blue eyes, an understanding that if he could go back and give up anything to have the chance to protect Emma, he would.

"Whatever this favor is, I want no further blood on my hands and you never try to gain ownership or rights over my child. You leave him or her alone and pretend that they never existed," Regina says. "Those are my terms."

Rumple considers her words for a moment (perhaps too short of one) and then dips his head forward in agreement. "Accepted. Do we have a deal?"

One more look at Henry and David and they've both tensed like they'll fight for her if need be and that's enough for her to turn back and say, "Yes."

* * *

><p>"Was that wise?" David asks as they step outside, into the bright sunlight of the mid-morning. He's frowning slightly, but to David's credit, he seems to understand that this was never his choice to make. "He's a tricky bastard."<p>

"I'm well aware," she replies. Then, "Henry, why don't you go get us a table for lunch. There's something that I need to talk to your grandfather about."

"I'm old enough to hear this," he insists. "If it's about the baby."

"It's not." She offers him a smile. "Please."

"Okay," he says reluctantly and then heads towards the diner.

"This isn't about the baby?"

"It is, but there are things I don't want him to hear or to understand. Like how you protected Emma to the death. Against my solders and against me, you stood up and you fought with everything inside of you to keep her safe."

"I'm her father."

"And I'm Henry's mother. And this baby's mother as well. The truth is I don't trust Rumple further than I can throw him, but if my magic - if what is inside of me - can hurt this child, then this binding I just did, well then it's necessary."

"I never thought I would say this but…what if Gold lied to you and what he just did to you binds your magic permanently. Can you live with that?"

"And I never thought that *I* would say this but…yes, I think so. As long as my children are safe and I can take care of them, that's all that matters to me."

David smiles brightly at that. "Who would have ever thought, right?"

"That we'd be on the same side?"

"That Snow would ever be planning your baby shower."

"Oh, tell me she isn't."

"I could lie," he suggests.

Regina groans at that and is just about to reply when she sees Marian stepping out of the Diner by herself and then their eyes are meeting.

"She knows," Regina says softly.

"You want me to run interference?" David offers.

"Of course not. Go order me a chicken club; I'll be inside in a moment."

David nods and steps away, passing Marian as he walks into the diner.

"Marian," Regina says, approaching her. Part of her thinks that she should have just walked by the woman, but she of all people owes her more respect than that. And so she comes right up to Marian and looks her in the eye.

"He's honest, you know that? Unlike you, my Robin is honest."

"So he told you."

"Then it's true? You're actually…you're pregnant with his baby?" Her voice pitches high for a moment and her eyes widen. But then, in a move that Regina recognizes well, she pulls herself together and lifts head head up.

"It definitely wasn't planned and I…I tried to keep it from him."

"Why?"

"Because he made his choice. And this just complicates everything."

"I hate you," Marian tells her.

It's such a young sounding admission, but so honest and forceful.

So deserved.

"You have every right to."

"And not just for this."

"I know. For…I know."

"I don't know what I'm supposed to do with all of this," Marian says.

"He's with you," Regina tells her. "Robin chose you."

"But I think we both know that he's actually in love with you."

"But he chose you," Regina repeats and gods she needs this conversation to end before she lets the darker parts of her out to play. She's trying so hard to be good and respectful right now, but it's hard. She wants to take and have.

"I love him.," Marian states. "He's my husband."

Regina sighs. "I know and…this is why I didn't want him to know."

"But he does know and now all of us have to live with this. Because you might think that you can keep him away from you and tell him that he doesn't have to be part of the baby's life, but if you know Robin well at all - and I think you know him entirely too well - you know that he can't let go of an obligation."

Regina involuntarily flinches at that. "What do you want from me?"

"What do you want?" Marian challenges.

"You don't want me to answer that."

"You want me dead."

"I want the happiness I thought that I was about to get back." She shakes her head. "But that doesn't seem to be how this is all going to work and I have bigger issues now. Robin chose to stay with you and I'm respecting that."

"It's not that simple," Marian replies and then she's finding a bench and sitting on it and she looks so sad and lost and like she can't find grounding.

Regina understands that feeling all too well.

But they're not friends and comfort has never been one of her specialities.

"This is my child," Regina tells her.

"And his as well. And he loves you," Marian states. "He loves you."

There's a heavy dullness to the way she says it the second time and then she's standing up and walking away from Regina without another word said.

Regina watches her go, wishing she understood exactly how she's supposed to feel about this and then with a heavy tired sigh (she can feel the baby anxiously moving around inside of her and knows that she needs to calm herself down), she follows David and Henry into Granny's Diner.

**TBC...**


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N:** Hey all, gratitude for the kind words. With this chapter, we are at the halfway point. 8 to go. All will be up before the end of next Sunday. Thanks!

* * *

><p>Time passes.<p>

Summer slips lazily into Autumn and then leaves are falling and changing colors and it's getting cooler and darker.

All the things that Regina enjoys.

Still, it's strange how not used to this feeling - that of time actually passing and changing - she is, but as the days and weeks trickle by and her stomach continues to expand as the child within her grows, Regina finds herself thinking more and more about the past and the things that she's been trying to leave behind her. Dark moments in time that she's told herself that dwelling upon could only do her more harm than good.

She still believes that and yet as she stares out at her backyard through the kitchen window, her hand rested upon her growing belly, she finds herself remembering a cold evening outside of a bar. It's so terribly easy to think about what might have been and though she knows better, Regina can't quite stop herself from wondering about the different roads her life might have taken had she just walked into the pub and approached Robin Hood.

Realistically, she knows that things very likely would have gone quite poorly for her; the King certainly would not have taken well to his trophy wife leaving him for a disgraced and disowned nobleman's son freshly home from war.

The end result of her walking into that bar and walking up to the archer probably would have been the death of Robin and the destruction of her heart for good. Bu what if it hadn't? What if she and Robin had hit it off and -

She laughs and brings tea to her lips. None of that matters now because what she'd said in Neverland still holds true today: she would do everything she'd done again for the simple reason that it had brought her to Henry. Okay, so perhaps not everything. Some days it's hard to look at herself in the mirror and see the person that she imagines that Marian sees every single time they see each other (it hasn't been frequent thankfully, but there have been half a dozen awkward run-ins over the last several weeks and it's just not getting easier now that Marian seems to understand that Robin's love for the Evil Queen isn't going to just conveniently go away). She can well guess that when Marian sees her, she still sees the monster that Regina had been.

Sometimes Regina still sees her, too.

She doesn't believe that there will ever be a time when she doesn't.

Still, it's hard to focus on that when there are other things to focus on such as the changing of her body. And the question that will be answered today.

Is Henry right? Will it be a little girl?

She's excited and she's terrified.

She chooses not to think about the terrified part, refuses to allow herself to.

Because if she does, then she'll think about Mother.

And she's tried so very hard not to think about Mother.

Especially now, knowing as she does how displeased Mother would be.

How terribly pathetically weak and pitiful Mother would see her as having become. To be willingly accepting her lover not being in her life, to even be keeping him at arms' distance. Mother had never believed in love, spited it as often as she possibly could, but she would have found it unfathomable to allow another to take from her what she believed to be hers.

But Regina refuses to be Cora Mills.

And she won't force Robin or anyone to stay with her if they don't want to.

It's harder, though, because she believes that he does want to be with her.

She opens the top drawer of her dresser and extracts the note that he'd left with the flower several weeks ago; aside from a few brief messages relayed through Emma, she hasn't had any contact with him since that night at the hospital. Which is probably for the best because this is all confusing and complicated enough. She knows that he very much wants to see her, and knows that he wants to be part of this, but he is trying to respect the fact that his choice to stay with his previously thought dead wife comes with some consequences and one of those is that Regina gets to call the shots here.

She's not ready to open the door back to him, doesn't think she can handle him being so close and so involved and so much a part of them without their actually being a them. So she's declined every offer of assistance.

But this note remains.

_**WHATEVER ELSE THERE WILL OR WON'T BE BETWEEN US, I WILL ALWAYS BE THERE FOR YOU IF YOU WANT ME TO BE.**_

That's not quite the truth technically (he's not here now and that hurts) but she understands the intent of his message, the clear statement that if she asks for Robin to assist her in any way, if she wants him to be involved, then he will be.

He wants to be here, has made that much clear. Part of her wishes that he'd fight a little harder, insist a little more vehemently, but the other part that recognizes the absolute mess that this is knows that such a thing would only lead to more stress and heartache that she can ill-afford right now. No, it's best that he concentrate on being a good father and a good husband.

Everything else will figure its way out as it should.

Regina laughs to herself (loudly and lightly, she realizes) and wonders if this baby shifting around inside of her is acting like some kind of internal prozac because she's never been one to be so calm and centered about things - especially the ones that should be having her on-edge. This whole situation is the kind of thing that should be making her have fits of anxiety but it's not.

And even she knows that that makes no sense.

But for all that's lost and all that her heart still hurts, she feels…okay.

"Mom?" she hears as Henry enters the kitchen. "You ready to go."

"I am," she answers and then loops her arm around her son's shoulders, earning her a lifted eyebrow. "Have I told you how much I love you?"

"Are you okay?" he asks.

"I can't just tell my son how much he means to me?" she asks.

"Of course you can and….and I love you, too, Mom, but are you okay?"

"I feel great," she says with a broad smile.

"Cool. Then, I hope you don't mind but I asked Emma to join us."

Her brows knit together and she has a flash of irritation, but then it's sliding away from her and she shrugs. "It's unnecessary, but no, I don't mind."

He gives her another strange look and then reaches for her coat and wraps it around her growing frame; it's at this moment when she realizes that he's not even leaning up to do it and just a little bit of the easy joy slips away.

Because her little boy is growing up and there are moments that she can't ever have back again and how many of those did she screw up by -

A knocking on the door yanks her out of her thoughts.

Which is a good thing because she can feel the anxiety of the child in the way that she's moving and it's clear thT she doesn't like her mothers's darker thoughts one bit. She lightly pats her belly and pulls her dark coat closed.

"Let's go," Regina says with a smile, a wave of calm slipping over her even as her mind continues to work. She focuses on the calm, lets it take her.

If Henry notices her struggle, he doesn't mention it.

* * *

><p>Her mood darkens considerably as Emma drives them towards Bangor and she's not really sure why exactly that is; yes, she'd been thinking about her failures with Henry and that's not ever going to be any easy subject but she's thought of them before without them making her feel this upset.<p>

Rapid hormonal mood swings, she tells herself.

She's done all the reading. Looked at everything that could possibly explain the things that she's going through and the whys of them. She's even read that "What To Expect When You're Expecting" book. And she's been forced to listened to Snow tell her about some very uncomfortable things that she really doesn't think that they're close enough to be sharing with each other.

Still, these swings feel more dramatic. From incredibly light and easy going to wanting to pour herself a glass of whiskey and drink until she can't.

Not that she would right now, but it's what she would do if not for the baby.

"Not feeling well?" Emma asks, her head turned slightly.

"Just thoughtful," Regina admits. She's glad that their relationship has improved - Emma had certainly gone to great lengths to try to make things up to her and more importantly, the Sheriff has managed to be a friend to both she and Robin without compromising either friendship and though it still hurts - this whole situation still hurts - she's thankful that Robin has someone to speak to about all of this who won't judge him for his choices.

She's still trying not to do that.

"Is that a good thing?" Emma jokes.

"I - unlike you Miss Swan - am capable of having complex thoughts." It's a mildly returned retort and it just makes Emma chuckle in bemusement.

"Yes, true, but I - unlike you, Your Majesty - am capable of having thoughts that don't involve massive world ending curses and fire-breathing dragons."

"Maleficent being a dragon was hardly my fault."

"Her being trapped as one was," Henry notes from the backseat of the Bug where he's playing on his iPad. He grins at the scowl Regina throws at him.

"Well, yes," she sighs.

"So," Emma prompts after a moment."You have two sets of ears here."

"And one set probably shouldn't be privy to such things," Regina reminds her as her eyes seek out the passing scenery of the Maine highway.

"Big boy now," Henry reminds her, putting down his iPad. "So talk."

"I'm fine."

She sees Emma smirk at that.

"Really."

"Do you miss your magic?" Henry asks.

Her mouth opens and then closes. And then she sighs because what's the right answer here? She'd almost lost Henry over her use of magic and only recently has he come to a place of accepting within her, but will he think less of her if she admits that yes, she does miss the feel of it within her?

It'd taken her a very long time after the curse had been cast for her to get to a place of acceptance with the loss of magic (the artifacts that she'd had and slowly used had been like a slow methadone drip, slowly weaning her off until she'd reluctantly accepted the loss of it) but this is even harder.

And it shouldn't be because her magic had been endangering her child.

"Yes," she finally answers, sighing at the uncomfortable honesty of it.

"It's okay," he tells her. "And you can have it back after she's born."

"Assuming that your grandfather didn't trick me," she drawls and then immediately flinches because her son really shouldn't be dragged into the middle of her on-going war with Rumplestiltskin. "But for once, I think he's on the level. He wants something from me and he usually keeps his deals."

"So what else?" Emma asks.

"Who said there is anything else?"

"We're on our way to find out the gender of your baby and I'm not the one who should be here with you right now," Emma notes. "Robin should."

"Perhaps so, but -"

"He made his choice. You say that a lot."

"You do," Henry observes.

"Because I'm trying to respect his decision to stay with his family," Regina reminds them quietly as she shifts around anxiously in her seat. She can feel the baby moving around in her, but it seems like that curious influence that the child had been having - that simple calming effect that had been there - is long gone now. Not that it was ever real most likely. All just her imagination.

"Isn't the Runt his family, too?" Henry asks, his brows knitting together.

"It's not that easy," Regina sighs. "It's...complicated. And messy."

"She's right, Kid," Emma says and then she's parking the car and Regina has never been so glad for such a simple act because she just can't have this kind of conversation with her son. She can't let him ever know about the dark and despairing moments where she'd thought about twenty different ways to make Marian disappear without a trace. And he can't know about how angry she gets at herself when she realizes just how much she still misses Robin.

Things have been better as of late; the baby has given her some focus.

But she's had dreams.

He doesn't need to know about those, either.

"You guys got this?" Emma asks.

"You're not coming with us to find out?" Henry queries.

"I will if you want me to, but I thought you two might like this to be just your thing," Emma replies and then looks at Regina. "Tell me what you want?"

"Chocolate croissants. And puff pastries. With strawberries."

Emma chuckles. "I'll see what I can find." She waves at the two of them and then with a laugh and her hands in her pockets, walks down the street.

"I hope you don't mind," Regina says to Henry once Emma's gone.

"Team Mills," he says. And then like the gentleman he's becoming, he offers her his arm. But because he's still a kid, he's grinning at her. So wide.

So easy.

She laughs, slips her arm into his and head inside the doctor's office to find out whether her precious baby boy is having a little brother or a little sister.

* * *

><p>The feeling of being back in balance reasserts itself the moment Emma's Bug slides over the town line and they're back in Storybrooke. It's sudden and a bit like someone has just injected her with something. It's enough to make her frown just a bit because something strange is definitely going on here.<p>

Henry had been right; she's having a little girl.

Which makes the terror that she'd been feeling earlier so much more.

Raising Henry had never reminded her of her relationship with her mother - at least not until he'd begun pushing her away and she'd started pulling back - but having a little girl reminds her of so many moments that she's tried so hard to never think of again and they make her wonder if she can do this.

Of course she can, she tells herself.

Boy or girl, it doesn't matter.

Right now, that's not near as important as figuring out why exactly this little girl inside of her seems to have the ability to calm her down.

Is it possible that even if she herself doesn't have magic at the moment that her daughter does? And if so, does that make everything even scarier?

She thinks it does, but then the baby is kicking and she gets the message loud and clear and it is very simply, "Relax, Mom; everything is okay."

She wishes that she believed that.

They get to the house and Henry races inside ahead of them, leaving his two mothers alone just in case they need to talk about things he knows that they won't say in front of him. The women chuckle; they know their son.

A moment passes and then another and finally, "You're thinking again."

"I am," Regina admits. "About my mother."

"Ah?"

Emma shrugs. "I'm not surprised; she did a number on you."

Regina smiles tightly at that.

"But for what it's worth, you're not her and never will be. She was…you love Henry. Actually love him. And you already love the little girl inside of you."

"I do," Regina admits. Then, taking a breath. "Will you show Robin?"

"The ultrasound?"

"Yes. He's never actually seen one before and he might…enjoy it."

"So you're going to let him be involved?"

Regina frowns in response, realizing that she's not quite that resolved.

"Right. I think maybe you should be the one to show him that."

Regina starts to protest and then stops. "I suppose I have to deal with this eventually, don't I? I have to make a decision one way or another."

"In or out," Emma agrees. "But maybe it's time you two actually talk."

"It won't change anything," Regina replies, rubbing her belly once again.

"It might not change that, but knowing whether or not you're going to be raising this kid with my family -" she laughs and then says, "Oh come on, you knew my mother was going to force her way in. She's been babbling non-stop about how my baby brother and your kiddo can play together."

Regina groans at that. "I'm happy that we're no longer at war, right?"

Emma shrugs but she's still grinning.

"Right. So it's with your family or -"

"With my family and with Robin. Talk to him. Decide. Move forward. One way or another. This kind of uncertainty isn't good for anyone. Trust me."

"Sounds so easy."

"You're going to wish you could drink after the conversation is over."

Regina chuckles, low and deep. Then after a moment and with a tired sounding sigh, "Fine, ask him to meet me at the pond tomorrow at noon."

She tries to pretend that she doesn't feel the mini-hop in her belly at that.

"Will do," Emma says. She turns back towards her car.

"Emma. Thank you," Regina says softly.

"For?"

"For actually being one of the rare people in my life who actually meant it when they said that they wanted to be my friend. I…thank you."

Emma nods, smiles and then slides into the Bug, the engine still running.

She's gone a few moments later and the street is quiet and there are stars showing up high in the sky, pinpricks of light against a rapidly darkening background. She thinks about how so many things have changed and how she knows how this family around her - how she has her son protecting her now. And then she thinks about the note from Robin and the declaration that he'd made within it - the promise that he would always be there for her.

She wonders why she struggles so hard to believe that it's the truth.

* * *

><p>Hours or research about the strange magical effects of her unborn child fold into the midnight hours of the night (and the baby is clearly not at all pleased about her being up late because she keeps rushing her mom to the bathroom in some perverse form of bladder related revenge) and before she knows it, she's sound asleep on her desk, her face against a massive tome.<p>

She dreams.

She sees her mother lifting a six year old little girl up in the air, angrily berating the frightened child for grass stains on her pretty dress. She hears her mother's voice drop as she says, "I do this because I love you, dear."

She sees herself standing on a lush green hill with Daniel, kissing him and being held by him. And then she's stepping away from him and the innocent girl there is becoming a woman who wears thick caked on make-up and who has such dark hatred in her eyes and then suddenly Daniel's turning to dust.

She sees herself as the full-on Evil Queen walking past a line of terrified peasants and then she sees Marian and they're face to face and the Queen is laughing gleefully as she speaks about having Marian's head on a pike.

She sees massacred villagers and broken bodies and so much blood.

And then she sees Robin standing amongst the bodies, in the middle of everyone. Looking around, taking in the carnage. His eyes fall across his face and he's shaking his head like he just can't understand any of this.

But it's when he looks over at Cora, her hand still lifted and little Regina still high up in the air, pleading and apologizing even as she soils herself (which only infuriates Mother more) that Robin seems to grow truly horrified.

He says, "I thought I knew who you were, but I didn't. I…had no idea . I thought I could handle this, but…I want no part of you. Of any part of you."

And then he's turning around and walking away from her.

She reaches out for him but even in her nightmare, won't yell out for him.

Won't beg for him to forgive her, to come back for her.

Won't break. Not even here.

But she feels his rejection deep in her wounded somehow still resilient heart.

Even as she knows that it was only a matter of time before this happened.

Even as she accepts that this was the only way it could go.

Because truly, villains - especially such evil ones like her - don't ever get happy endings. Not because of a book but because they don't deserve them.

She feels the pain - though she knows not where it's from - before she returns to the waking world and then her eyes open and she's crying.

And this time, not even the magic mojo of her baby girl can make it better.

**TBC...**


	9. Chapter 9

She's certainly no saint but she has tried so hard to be patient and understand why he's still struggling to be intimate with her. She soothes her own doubts by telling herself that it's just taking him time to readjust but that eventually all will be as it once was between them. That it's been almost five months now is something neither one of them speaks about when all he can do is hold her.

Which isn't to say that they haven't been together; of course they have.

Physically, they still match. Perhaps not as well as they once did - she tries not to think that it's because he has learned to enjoys the ways of another woman (the Queen) but it's hard not to when his strong hands hesitate and pause.

Emotionally, they're far apart and the gap just continues to grow. These days, Marian finds herself being able to breathe easier when he's away and not so close by, always trying to be a good man.

Always trying to do the right thing by being the faithful husband.

She knows that she's beginning to resent him.

And she hates that.

Hates her - the Queen - for this.

Because Robin is…Robin is her husband. Her friend. Her True Love.

Only he's not and there's only so many lies that Marian can tell herself.

But she tries. Oh does she tries and when Robin tells her that Regina has asked - agreed - to see him to talk about the baby, she smiles brightly at him and says, "Good; it's about time that this….whole thing gets dealt with."

He looks across the camp, over towards where Roland is playing with John's youngest boy. Sweet little Roland who doesn't understand any of this but who sometimes still asks to see the mischeivous woman that whom he'd come to adore like the mother that Marian had never really been allowed to be to him.

"Robin?" she presses. And then swallows because she's about to ask a question that she doesn't actually want an answer to. "What do you want to happen here? Do you…do you want her to let you be a father to this baby?"

He turns and looks at her. "I won't lie to you."

She smiles again and says, "Of course not" even though she's thinking that his inability to tell her point blank that he doesn't want to be with her is a lie.

"I…being a father is the one thing that I'm good at," Robin tells her.

"You're a good father," she says automatically and then she sighs because they're talking in circles and going nowhere. "Go talk to her, my love."

The words feel so right on her own lips but she wonders what they sound like to him. Do they echo inside of his head? Bounce off of his heart?

Do they still warm him as they once had?

He stands up. "You know I'm sorry for all of this, right?"

"You keep apologizing," she answers and it's not much of an answer at all.

Nor is it letting him off the hook as she has a hundred times before.

Because he's on his way to see the wicked woman that his righteous heart now belongs to and Marian is starting to realize - perhaps even starting to accept if she's entirely honest with herself in a way that she hasn't been - that no matter where her own heart is, his has moved on and is no longer hers.

Their eyes meet and Robin nods slowly. He starts to say something else, perhaps something easy - a beautiful lie - like, "I love you" but he stops himself because it feels wrong to offer such hope when it's just not there.

She feels tears sting her eyes as she watches the great love of her life walk away through the trees to meet the woman who is now the love of his.

* * *

><p>She's talking to her little girl, promising her that she won't let Henry name her something strange when Regina hears the sound of footsteps approaching from behind her. The approach is deliberate which likely means that it's someone who knows her well enough to understand that sneaking up on a former Evil Queen is probably a bad idea. They're heavy as well which mean they belong to -<p>

"Regina."

Him.

They belong to him.

Of course they do.

She reaches down and pulls her coat closed, not yet willing to let him see the growing swell of her belly. She's been going back and forth in her mind for hours, trying to figure out how this conversation needs to go, trying to decide what she needs to say here. What is the right thing for her children?

Nothing else matters, right?

"Robin," she says as she turns to face him. She takes in his appearance, smiling slightly at the change of clothes. He's wearing loose fitting beige cargo pants and a deep forest green Henley that looks quite handsome on him. Still, if it were up to her, she'd probably try to get him into some other colors. Some light blues to really bring out his eyes a bit more, maybe.

But it's not up to her.

Her gaze flickers upwards and she takes in the bags beneath his eyes and if she perhaps feels just a moment of satisfaction that he's having a hard time with this too, then that's something she'll choose to keep to herself.

"Am I allowed to say that I've missed you?" Robin asks.

"No," she replies immediately. "But…thank you."

He offers her a sad smile. "Shall we…shall we sit or -"

"I sit more than I care to admit," she chuckles. "We'd like to walk."

"We," he echoes. Then, "Of course." Robin holds for a moment, waiting for her to take the lead and she's reminded of the times they'd spent side by side (even if not exactly on friendly terms) in the Enchanted Forest. He'd been quick to challenge her, but always chivalrous and respectful of her station.

Comfortable with her leadership even though he'd, too, had a claim to such.

It'd been one of the things that attracted her to him, his ability to be in command without ever having to exert any kind of unnatural authority.

So unlike the Evil Queen.

She'd been envious of that ease even as she'd despised him for it.

Those days are long gone and now it's just them and this mess.

And a little girl kicking away in her belly making loud demands already.

Regina steps forward and once she starts moving, Robin falls into step beside her, saying nothing and just waiting for her to speak. He seems to understand that this is her show and her choice and he has to be patient and calm.

But it feels just a little bit like he's trying not to spook her.

She sighs as they get to the bend of the pond that has a rail around it and then she stops and places a hand on the cool metal, clenching her fingers around the bar to help ground herself. "How's Roland?" she asks finally.

"Growing like a weed and leaving shoes behind by the day," Robin chuckles.

"Turns out there's an unexpected benefit to this new world."

"Shoe stores," she agrees. Then, conspiratorially, "I've found quite the liking for them as well." She gestures down at her shoes - stylish designer flats.

He doesn't tell her that he'd noticed them the moment he'd laid eyes on her because he'd recognized just how much smaller than usual she'd looked.

Even wearing a huge jacket to cover up her growing belly.

"He likes Nikes."

"I bet he does." She pauses and then, "Have you told him about the baby?"

"No. I don't want him to…I didn't want to set any kind of expectation."

"You should know that every part of me wants to tell you that I can't do this."

"Do what?"

"Let you be involved."

"Ah." Then, with something of a sheepish smile to hide his sinking heart, Robin says softly, "Every part?" It comes off sadder than he'd intended.

Which is probably why she's looking at him with such intensity now.

"Not every part," she corrects. "The part of me that enjoyed that note and the flower that you left me -" she smiles when she sees the spark of joy in is eyes at her willing receipt of his gift, "That part disagrees with the rest of me. But that part is foolish and it still has some absurd hope that all of this will work out, and I think we both know better than that. We know how crazy that is."

"So you've made your choice ?" he says after a moment. It's an unintentional echo of Regina saying the same words to him just a few month earlier, and it causes both of them to flinch just a bit at the memory of that day.

Her voice shaking just a bit, she says, " I've been going around and around in my head about this choice since I decided to meet with you. I've gone from yes to no to probably to not a chance in this world or any other because he made a choice and now he has to live with the consequences."

"I never meant to hurt you," Robin insists and then he reaches for her and only at the last minutes manages to stop himself from touching her.

"I know and that's why we're having this conversation, Robin. Because as angry as I am at you and as hurt as I am, I understand why you did what you did and that actually…I hate that I do even more because I shouldn't. I should be able to just…I think maybe I was stronger when I didn't care about the reasons others gave to me for why they hurt me. I was stronger but I wasn't better and that has caused me to lose sight of the things that are important which is that I want to be better for my children. For Henry and for her."

"It's a girl?" he asks, his eyes sparkling and his handsome face lighting up.

"She is. Here." She reaches out for hand hand and this really couldn't possibly be more dangerous if either one of them tried but then she's leading him over to a bench and the moment they're sitting, she reaches into her pocket and pulls out the ultrasound. "In this world, doctors can see the babies early. They can take pictures of them and ensure that they're healthy and safe." She offers Robin the picture and then points into the middle of it. "That's her."

For a long moment, he just stares in mute wonder at the black and white photo, his blue eyes wide and amazed. He traces a finger over the gentle curve of the child and then he looks up at her, "This is…this is our little girl?"

"Yes. That's our little girl."

"She's healthy?"

"Perfectly."

"And you are? Healthy as well, yes?"

"I'm fine. I might not make full term but…well…she's fine and I'm fine."

He looks back down at the picture, and it's then when she sees the tear trickling down his cheek. Without thinking, Regina reaches out and catches it with her thumb, quickly wiping it away before it can land on the ultrasound.

His voice low, he asks, "Does this mean you'll let me be a part of her life?"

"I think that's what I'm supposed to do here."

His head snaps back. "But…but it's not what you want?"

"What I want…well, let's be honest here: what I want doesn't matter."

His eyes close as he tries to quiet the pained hammering of his heart. Then, "I know that it doesn't seem like it right now and I know I have broken your trust terribly, but for what it's worth, what you want does to me and I will respect whatever decision you make," he tells her. "But I would like to be her father.

"I won't be an obligation," she tells him sharply. "And I won't let my child be that, either so if that's all this to you, then…then, Robin, I need you to -"

"I want to be her father, Regina. If you'll let me be, that's what I want to be."

Neither his voice nor his tense body leave any doubt to his sincerity or to his honesty and if there was any, the intensity of his gaze dispels such. There's a forceful nature to his words and a kind of almost mad desperation about him.

"And you will be. Because you're a good man and a good father. As much as I wish I could hurt you as much as you've hurt me for the choice that you made - regardless of your intent - I won't do that to her. Because I do understand and maybe I even deserve this -" she quickly holds up her hand to stop his immediate protest. "But she doesn't. She - my, our daughter - she deserves the very best of what I can be and that's what she's going to get from me."

"You're a better person than you've ever given yourself credit for."

"The fact that Emma had to save your wife from my prison says otherwise."

Robin chooses not to argue with her about that, instead just looks down at the picture of his unborn daughter Finally, quietly, he asks, "What of us?"

"There is no us. There's just two people who parent together."

He wants to contest her words, desperately wants to reach out to her, touch her and convince her that they will always be more than that to each other, but she's tense and he can see how tightly she's holding on to her emotional control; she's fighting to keep the pettiness that had been so much a part of their often turbulent days in the Enchanted Forest together at bay and she's struggling to suppress the hurt and rage that are darkening her eyes.

He would be a fool to push her too hard.

Luckily for him, he's no fool and he's come to recognize her moods and learn when the right times to push her are and when are the times sure to lead to a bad reaction; he's come to understand her and understand her well he does.

She's at the end of her restraint, the end of her patience and calm.

She's hurt and angry and trying so desperately hard to be a good person.

He already believes her to be one, but loves her all the more for the effort.

An effort that he believes he ill deserves.

"Might I take this with me?" he asks, holding up the picture.

"I brought it for you."

"Thank you. Do we…do you have a name decided yet?"

"No. I'm letting Henry choose her name,."

"I look forward to hearing it."

Regina chuckles. "Don't be so sure about that." She stands up then, and starts to unbutton her jacket, feeling vaguely foolish about it. When she's done, though, her rounding belly is showing beneath the light sweater she has on.

"You're both okay?" Robin asks again.

"We're both survivors," Regina replies, smiling slightly.

He answers it in kind. "Is she moving around yet?"

"Oh, she never stops." Regina moves her hand - stops - and then sighs and again takes his into hers and guides it to her belly, trying to ignore the spark of feeling - and the intense memories that come with it - that go through her when his palm slides against her, his fingers dancing over the bump.

As if on cue, the baby kicks out.

He laughs, a stunning smile spreading across his bearded face.

"She's this bad all the time?"

"She has her opinions," Regina replies once he moves away. She buttons her coat back up and looks up at him, seeing him grinning at her. "What?"

"Oh nothing. It's just, she has opinions," he says, his eyes dancing with a kind of open affection that makes her heart hurt a whole lot. "Just like her mother."

"She also thinks she can take care of everything with a little bit of calm; she likes to pretend that if you just think good thoughts, everything is all right," Regina states. "Just like her father." She gets a hard kick for that comment.

But chooses to ignore it.

Because she's making a point here.

She's not trying to make him change his mind.

She's trying to tell Robin that his lonely resignation, his decision to return to something that isn't making anyone happy (she can still vividly remember the sadness in Marian's eyes, the spark of agonizing awareness flashing for just a moment there) is a lot like putting your head in the sand and pretending.

Pretending that everything is all right.

"I've miss you," he tells her and this time he doesn't ask her if he can say it.

"I've missed you, too," she tells him, her voice rough.

His eyes travel down from her face to her belly and then back up again. "You are breathtaking," he tells her. "Truly. I hope you know that."

For a moment, she thinks she feels the faintest echo of magic, but since her own is bound, that can't be the case; still, the baby reacts, anxious about the heartache she feels radiating up through her mother. "I'll be in touch," she says finally, her voice thick with a thousand dark and light emotions.

And then she turns and walks away from him.

Before she says or does something that she can't take back.

Before she says something like, "please stay." Or "please don't leave."

Or "I've changed my mind and you need to stay far away from me."

Instead of saying any of those pathetic phrases, Regina pulls out her cell phone and dials a number and shakily whispers, "I need to see you."

* * *

><p>When he gets back to the camp, it's a bit of dinner and most of the men are milling around. His eyes flicker across the camp and settle on Roland sitting in Tuck's arms, listening to the bombastic friar tell another of his absurd tales. Robin glances around and doesn't see Marian and then hates himself for the relief he feels at that. He knows deep down that everything is going to change tonight. He thinks that it even needs to change. But still, he dreads this.<p>

He makes his way into the camp and towards Roland and Tuck. "M'boy," he calls out and then Roland is in his arms and hugging him so tightly.

He lets out a breath and a happy sigh. For all the way he's screwing everything up these days, Roland is the one thing he's still getting right.

"How was your day?" he asks.

"Mama and I went hunting."

"Did you now?"

"She caught a dear. I didn't."

'Well soon enough." He ruffles Roland's hair. "Where is your mother now?"

Roland shrugs his shoulders and then he's looking elsewhere, towards a group of kids playing nearby. "Go," Robin says. "But bedtime in an hour."

The boy grins and then scampers away.

"I don't know why you even bother pretending he has a bedtime," Tuck chides.

"Well if John's boys ever slept, it would be helpful. I suppose I shouldn't complain; they do tire him out."

"That they do." A pause and then, "As for Marian, she went for a walk," Tuck notes, gesturing towards the trees and a winding dirt trail that seems to pick up right at the foot of the big elms. "Whatever happened between the two of your earlier upset her pretty badly."

"I know," Robin says, his eyes darting to Roland. "Is she all right?"

"She's strong."

"That wasn't my question."

"I know and I also know that sometimes you can't have back what you lost."

"Why is this so turned around in my head."

"Because this isn't something you can out-wit someone in, Robin. This is a matter of the heart."

"I'm well aware." He pats Tuck on the shoulder. "If anyone asks -"

'You went to find Marian. Advice, my friend?"

"Always."

"It's a matter of the heart so speak from the heart. Even if it burns to do so, at least it's the truth."

Robin smiles sadly, squeezes his hand on Tuck's shoulder and then steps towards the path leading into the trees.

* * *

><p>Archie is waiting for her when she gets to his office and because he knows her so well by now, he doesn't say a word, just opens the door and shuts it behind her and then watches as Regina plays with Pongo for a few minutes.<p>

She'll talk when she's ready.

It takes awhile for her to be ready.

When she at last ends her session with Pongo by kissing him on the nose and scratching his ears, she then turns to Archie and says, "I wanted to be selfish."

And Archie says the same thing he always says, "It's okay to want to be selfish, Regina. It's always okay. It's what you do with the desire to be so that matters."

It's his way of saying, "talk to me".

So she sits down on his couch, pats it for Pongo to join her, places her other hand lightly over her belly (the baby is restless now, perhaps even greatly agitated that her usual calming effect isn't working) and starts talking.

* * *

><p>She hears the sound of his footsteps as they approach. Heavier and more weighted than she members them being.<p>

His approach is cautious, wary.

So much has changed.

This isn't her Robin anymore and gods does that hurt.

She turns to face him.

He looks happy. And sad.

He's holding something tightly in his hand.

A strange black and white picture thing with a lot of swirls.

"You're back," she notes.

"They told me you went for a walk.

"I needed some space away from...well, it doesn't matter," she says.

"Marian -"

"What did she decide?"

There's a hesitant pause and then he extends the picture to her. "It's called an ultrasound."

She looks down at the picture but won't take, won't touch it. Instead, she requests, "Promise me that you won't lie to me, Robin."

"I would never lie to you."

"Do you love me?"

"I love you."

"Are you in love with me?"

His face contorts.

She inhales, exhales and then asks, "Are you in love with her?"

"I'm sorry."

His eyes meet hers and if he'd hoped not to hurt her, he knows that this is impossible now because the time for denial is over; only the truth matters.

"Yes," Robin replies finally, his voice thick with devastation and self-loathing as he breaks the heart of his first love and oldest friend. "I am."

**TBC...**


	10. Chapter 10

It takes Marian several moments to process his words, to understand that the man she loves - the man who is her husband - is admitting to lbeing in love with someone else. Not that it's the surprise that it probably should be (or perhaps it shouldn't be; they've been together for the last five months and it's felt like she's been living with something of a complete stranger the whole time), but it's still a body-blow to hear it.

"Marian," Robin says softly, his hand reaching out for hers.

That's when something snaps inside of her. That's when everything she's been holding back - all of the anger and the hurt - it all just explodes and she feels a thousand different emotions at once. With one hand she pushes him roughly away from her and with the other, she pulls him back and strikes him.

His eyes close as he accepts the contact and that angers her even more.

"Stop doing that," Marian growls at him. "Stop it."

"Stop what?"

"Stop being resigned to all of this like there's nothing you can do about it. I'm not just some obligation, Robin. I'm your wife. Or at least I was that."

"You still are," he tells her.

"And that's the problem," she snaps back. "Because you don't want me to be. You want to be with the woman responsible for us losing each other."

"It's not that simple."

"Yes, it is," she says as she steps towards him and grabs hold of each of his biceps. "It was you and me, Robin. We were the great epic story and then I…then she captured me and she executed me and we ended. She destroyed us but instead of despising her as I do, you love her. You're in love with her.""

"We ended," he agrees. Then, "How did she capture you? I've thought so long about that day and I figured it happened because I left you behind in that town while John and I went after King George. But she didn't know who you were. She never knew that she had Robin Hood's wife, did she?"

"No," Marian replies. "I refused to tell her who I was."

"Then why were you arrested?"

"She thought I was helping Snow White." She lifts her head up and looks at Robin. "I did what you would have done and I protected the innocent."

"You didn't come home to us," he says dully.

"You're blaming me for this?" Marian demands, her eyes wide in disbelief. "I'm alive because of Emma. Ifnot for her, I'd be dead because the woman that you are going to have a perfect child with was going to have me strung me up by a rope as an example for anyone who would help Snow White!"

"I know," he says softly, swallowing hard. "I know."

"And you're okay with that?"

"She's not the same."

"She's still the one responsible for us…for us ending."

His eyes flicker up towards her and she thinks she sees tears on his lashes.

"Because we are over."

"Marian -"

"Don't. I have loved you since the moment I laid eyes on you, Robin. This hurts more than you can even begint o imagine because I don't have years of dealing like you do. All I know is that the day before I came to this awful town, it was our story and you looked at me the way that you look at her. And you don't look at me that way anymore." She shakes her head. "But that's not even the worst of it. The worst is that you were my very best friend even more than you were my husband and for the last five months, you have been lying to me about who your heart belongs to. And you've been letting me lie to myself. The worst of this isn't that you stopped loving me as you wife, it's that you stopped loving me as your friend. You betrayed me. You. Betrayed. Me."

"You're right," Robin agrees, feeling as though he's just been punched right in the stomach with the truth. "I was trying…I was trying to be honorable."

"By treating me like an obligation instead of a friend? I deserved better from you. How could you ever believe that being with me when you didn't want to was the honorable thing to do? You treated me like a task instead of as someone who actually mattered to you. I suppose my only consolation here is that you discarded her just as easily, didn't you? You chose your code of honor over love for either of us so I guess nobody wins here. Not even her. "

She's being cruel now and it hurts him even more that she is because this is so unlike her. And while he has changed so very much, Marian hasn't at all.

"I never…I was trying not to hurt either of you. I never wanted to hurt you."

"And yet that's exactly what you've done. Why couldn't you just tell me the truth? I might have hated you for it, but I would have forgiven you for it."

"And now?"

"Now I'm going to walk away from you before I say things that I can't take back. But here's one thing I won't take back: I deserve more than someone who doesn't love me. I deserve more from you. You want to be with that horrible woman, then be with her, Robin. Don't let me stand in the way of your great and epic love story." She spits the words out, tears on her face.

"Marian, I'm -"

"If you apologize again, I won't be held be responsible for my actions."

Robin steps backwards, and then just watches as she walks away from him, her head held high in a way that reminds him uncomfortably of Regina.

There's so much strength and pride there and…he feels his heart seize as Marian's words wash over him. As the truth of his actions finally crush in on him. He's lived his life by a strict code of honor for so very long now, insisting upon it above everything else in his life, believing it to be an absolute.

Only now there's this.

A shattered code of honor that has left everyone in ruins.

Heartbreak everywhere.

And only himself to blame for it.

* * *

><p>"What happened?" Archie says kindly as he places the warm steaming cup between her shaking palms. He's started stocking ginger tea for her, especially since she's been coming here somewhat frequently over the last couple months. She's been fighting hard, struggling against her darker feelings and her impulses. He's proud of her, but he won't say that to her because she'd see it as a form of condescension so he waits patiently instead.<p>

Finally, quietly, "I saw Robin before I came here."

"Accidentally or?"

"I had Emma set up the meeting. So that we could decide how much involvement he would have in her -" her eyes flicker down towards her belly and as if on cue, she feels a kick sharp enough to make her wine. "Life."

"And?"

"I decided to let him…he wants to be her father."

"And how do you feel about your choice?"

Regina almost answers sarcastically but it's the non-judhmental way that Archie is looking at her that stops her from it. "Conflicted. And selfish."

"Because?"

"Because I wanted him to choose me. To give up his precious honor and choose to stay with me and with his daughter. But he has his own family."

"You're angry with him?"

"Yes."

"Have you told him?"

"No."

Archie cocks his head. "Why not?"

"You know my anger. You know what happens when I let it run free."

"You're afraid you'll let her back out."

"I've wanted to let her back out."

"You know, sometimes you tell me that she is you and sometimes you speak of her like she's a separate entity entirely. Who is the Evil Queen to you?"

Regina thinks for a moment, her hands folding and unfolding in front of her swollen belly. She can feel that strange calming effect flowing through her again and more and more, she's come to think of it like being tranquilized.

Forcibly calmed.

Only it doesn't always work because it appears to be an instinctual kind of thing as opposed to something involved the focus and control of an adult.

Which makes sense considering it's an unborn child doing the magic.

"Regina?"

"Sorry, I was just…" she sighs. "I think my child has magical abilities."

"Oh," Archie blinks. It's a completely different topic than the one that they'd been on but he can tell by the tension in Regina's body that it matters. "I was under the understanding that you'd had Mr. Gold bind your magic."

"I did. This appears to be…hers."

"Because it's hereditary or because she's a True Love child?"

Regina flinches at that. Partially because it hurts to think that she won't get to be with her soulmate but it's even worse if he's her True Love as well. But also because she'd always found the idea that Emma's magic had been given to her because Snow and David's love had been some kind of epic love story just a bit…insulting to the rest of those who had ever or would ever have love. Not to say that they're not nauseating , but are they actually special?

So she answers, "I would assume that it's hereditary. My mother. Me. It's elemental for us. And I'm guessing it is for my daughter as well. So Rumple could temporarily bind my magic but without her consent or something of considerably far more force, he wouldn't be able to do the same to her."

"So you can feel her magic, then?"

Regina huffs at that.

"Was that a yes or a no."

"Yes. She…doesn't like it when I'm upset."

"How do you know?"

"She has this ability to…calm me. It feels a bit like I've been given downers every time she does it because suddenly everything slows way down."

"Does it always work?"

"Not as much since I've been paying attention. Which is probably why she keeps playing the drums on the inside of my belly; she has a temper."

Archie chuckles at that. After a look of annoyance, Regina does as well.

Because really, this whole thing is so absurd.

She's pregnant with the child of the man who is her soulmate. That man isn't with her but rather with his wife who should have died thirty years ago (thanks to her) and their baby is already showing an impatient and pushy personality.

Even as she seems to be trying to everyone to calm it the hell down.

Absurd doesn't even really begin to cover all of this.

Once the laughter dies down, Archie grows serious again, "Is her magic making you think about your mother even more? More than you were?"

"Yes," Regina admits. "I don't…I don't want to be her. My mother saw me as a means to an end. Any potential that she ever thought that I had, it was all there just for her to harness and weaponize. She may have loved me -"

She stops and swallows hard.

"Regina?"

"She loved me," Regina says softly, wincing again as the baby fidgets.

"Perhaps," Archie allows. "But not in the way that you love Henry. Or this child. And that matters, Regina. Your mother for anything that she may have been able to give to you didn't give you what you needed. And what you yourself have the ability to give to your children. And the desire to give to them."

"And what's that?"

"Love without conditions." He shrugs his shoulders. "You and I, Regina, we're not a lot alike, but I think that the one way that we are very much alike is in regards to our parents. Mine saw me as a means to an end as well."

"And have you ever gotten over that?"

"No," he admits. "But I've never had the chance to break the cycle as you have. And as you did with Henry. And will do with your daughter as well."

"You always sound so confident about me. You're the only one."

"That's not true, but for what it's worth, the reason that I'm confident about you, Regina, is because you come to see me whenever you think that you're falling. Not all that long time ago, you wouldn't have been able to do so."

"I want to be better. I…I want to be good enough for them."

"I know," Archie says as he stands up to refresh her cup of tea. "And that's what makes both of us different than our parents. We want to be more."

"And what about when I want more as well? When I want Robin to choose to stay with me? What about when part of me wants to force him to?"

"That brings us back to our conversation about her. Who is the Evil Queen to you, Regina? Is she a part of you or is she someone completely differently?"

"She's part of me," Regina sighs. "Even when I don't want her to be."

"Then you keep fighting her. Sometimes you win, sometimes you don't."

"And when I don't?"

"Pongo likes his ear-rubs," Archie notes, gesturing to the one that Regina has been giving the sleppily happy pup since almost the moment she'd sat down.

"I suppose he does," she agrees. And then offers Archie a small smile.

He returns it with one of his own.

* * *

><p>"Rise and shine," he hears and it's the high voice that rouses him more than the words. He forced his eyes open and looks up at Emma and her father.<p>

"Morning," Robin grunts as he swings his legs around and places his feet on the ground in front of the cot inside of the cell. He'd come here after the argument with Marian, understanding that she'd needed space. He hadn't wanted to leave Roland, but the boy had been safe (he'd told his son that he might be away for just a short bit - as he had on occasion during their time in the Enchanted Forest - but that he shouldn't worry because before Roland would know it, his father would be back) and nothing good could have come of him and Marian being so close together at the time.

"Long night?" David asks with a frown.

"Something like that."

"What happened?" Emma queries, offering him a hand up and off the cot.

"I'm having a little girl," Robin announces, a small smile on his lips.

"And you decided to celebrate inside of a jail cell?" David counters.

"He's right," Emma notes. "Usually we bring you here, not yourself."

"Marian and I had a discussion," Robin tells them. "She…I…I was a selfish bastard the whole time and…all I've done is make a complete mess of this."

Neither David nor Emma counter him.

"I thought I was being honorable. I thought my vows mattered the most."

"Being honest matters the most," David says. "Above everything else."

"Like I said, I'm a bastard."

"You're not," Emma replies. "But feeling sorry for yourself won't help. This whole thing may suck, but this is better for everyone in the long run."

"How's that?"

"Marian deserves to have actual love, not just a husband."

"I know," Robin admits as he slumps down into the chair next to his usual desk and accepts coffee. "I spent all night thinking about it and all I kept coming back to was wondering why I ever thought otherwise. It'd seemed so simple and obvious to me what my decision had to be, but…" He winds his hand through his hair. "I don't know how to make any of this right."

"I'm not sure you can," David says. "But at least everyone knows the truth."

"At least they do," Robin says with a frown. "Part of me wanted to go see Regina last night, but I've hurt her terribly through this as well. I chose to stay with my wife over her and…and then there's the part that she played in all of this and I understand it, but…she's a different woman and I know her-"

"Twisting yourself in circles trying to logic all of this out isn't going to do you any favors," Emma tells him. "I think everyone in this gets to be allowed to feel however they feel about whatever there is to feel about. Including you."

"I think I'm supposed to do something," he says quietly.

"And you can. Once you've actually had a full night of sleep. If you want to go talk to Regina then and spill out everything, fine, but don't do it while you're coasting on fumes and don't have a clue which way is up or down," Emma suggests. "Because we all know Regina and she's going to push you. This isn't going to be like one of those slow-mo runs in the movies -" she shakes her head at the strange look he gives her. "It's going to be complicated and probably very loud because this is Regina we're talking about and -"

"And I did hurt her."

"And she hurt you," David says. "Even if it was thirty years ago."

"If you're going to move forward with her, if you're going to have a second chance, then the two of you need to talk everything out. But not while you're looking like you're about to drop dead from exhaustion." Emma reaches into her pocket and pulls out a set of house keys. "Go ahead and take my couch."

"That's -"

"I'll be here all day and Henry's at school; no interruptions. Just rest."

"Thank you."

"Don't thank me; you made a mess of things and now you have to fix it."

"But we've both been there," David tells him. "Regina has as well. So get some sleep and if what you want is to be with Regina, then go and see her but know what you want to say and be honest. With her and with yourself."

"I never thought that I'd require advice on being honest," Robin muses.

"You don't," Emma says and then tosses him the keys. "Good luck."

"You're going to need it," David notes wryly.

Robin chuckles humorlessly at his words, but doesn't deny them.

* * *

><p>It's almost eight at night and Regina is in her office, a book about hereditary magic open in front of her. She can hear Henry upstairs in his bedroom playing video games, the explosions the only sound in the quiet house.<p>

Until she hears a soft knocking on the front door.

Frowning because of the late hour, she stands up and winces as a sharp pain goes through her back. She'd thought the morning sickness to be the worst of things but these new aches and pains that she's been feeling are far more annoying. Straightening herself, she makes her way to the door, scowling at her reflection in the mirror; thanks to her growing belly, she's taken to wearing far more casual clothes around the house and so she really hopes that whomever is on her step isn't someone who will look at her strangely because she's wearing (designer) sweatpants and an overized sweater.

Sweatpants that she has every intention of burning once this pregnancy is over because Regina Mills does not wear sweatpants. Ever. Except now.

She groans and yanks the door open.

"Robin," she announces, her head tilted.

"Hi," he says and he tries to smile but it doesn't come close to his eyes.

"Roland -"

"Is fine. But we need to talk."

"About what?" she asks. "Hasn't everything that matters been said?"

"No," he counters. "There's a lot more."

"Robin?"

"My marriage is over," he tells her.

"And that's why you're here? Because you think -"

"No. I think nothing. I expect nothing. And if nothing happens because of tonight, it doesn't change what I feel for you. I love you and I am in love with you and that's not going to change. But there are things that we need to say to each other and…I think it's time…I think it's time to be honest."

She considers his request for a moment, taking in the seriousness within his blue eyes, and then slowly, she steps aside to let him into her house.

Knowing that she desperately doesn't want to have this conversation.

But knowing that they absolutely need to.

**-TBC...**


	11. Chapter 11

**A quick note** for a reviewer who asked why this story seems familiar (I did check and chapter 10 wasn't uploaded twice): you likely read the story the first time when it was posted on Tumblr. I've edited it up and fluffed it up for her. Hope that clears things up.

* * *

><p>"Would you like a drink?" Regina asks as they cross through the foyer and enter her office. Though her voice is steady, she seems anxious in a way that Robin's unused to. He has witnessed many sides of her by now, but this isn't one of them and it unsettles him.<p>

It unsettles him, he realizes sadly, because she looks unsettled _by_ him, one hand resting on her belly in an almost protective manner.

He wonders if she's afraid of him.

Of course not; Regina Mills is afraid of no one.

Only Robin knows better than that; Regina puts up a hell of a front but underneath all of that tough prickliness is a lot of fear about the things she can't control and the people she will never be able to trust. The ones who one day might demand repayment in blood for her sins. The people that she'd taken loved ones from. He's one of them and though he believes that he's forgiven her and let go of the woman that she once was, he now understands that it's something that does exist between the two them and will continue to exist until they truly confront it. Along with the rest of their many issues.

His marriage with Marian is over (has been over for thirty years) but it's not as simple as just having fallen out of love with her. Three decades ago, he'd been head over heels for her and then one day she hadn't come home.

The beautiful woman in front of him - the one twisting her hands around as she awaits his answer - is the one responsible for her not coming home.

Kind of.

Sort of.

It's complicated and things still don't make much sense to him. Like how it is that he'd never heard about the execution especially if the intent of the Evil Queen had been to publicize the consequences for aiding Snow White. Sure, he and John and the others had been over near the border of King George's land but something like that would have traveled to their ears. And it hadn't; there had been no great no announcement before or after the death.

After, Robin can understand being that no execution had occurred, but certainly there should have been some pre-notice and there hadn't been.

It just makes no sense.

Even saying that, though - even thinking that - he understands that these are things that might not ever entirely make sense to him and that this is still as good a place for he and Regina to start to deal with their pasts as any.

It's as good a place to find out if they have a future as they'll get.

"A drink would be appreciated," Robin says softly. "Something strong."

She chuckles at that but there's no humor in the sound. She turns her back on him - though not entirely, she's still enough at a slant that if he were to move quickly towards her, she could react. He doesn't believe that her stance has anything to do with him, though. Rather, it's a protective measure for herself (never turn your back on anyone and give them an advantage, he thinks) and for the baby as well. One hand, he notices, is still settled over her belly.

"Are you feeling all right?" Robin asks after several moments of silence have passed with only the sound of clinking ice cubes filling up the warm air.

She turns to look at him, her eyebrow lifting up slightly as she smirks at him, seeming to know that he's stalling for time just a little bit here. "I'm fine. You?"

"I've been better," he admits. "But I don't come here for comfort."

"Good," she says. "Because I'm not sure…I'm not sorry your marriage is over and I know what kind of woman that makes me, but…why is it over, Robin? Did you leave her or did she leave you? How did it end for the two of you?"

"She ended it," he admits.

"And if she hadn't?"

"I'd probably still be there."

"Right." She looks over at the sideboard and sighs. "What I wouldn't do for a drink of my own right now." She looks down at her belly. "No, I'm not going to actually have one; you can stop being a pain in the ass for three seconds."

"You're sure you're all right?" he asks with a chuckle.

"Yes. Like I said, she has opinions." She looks up at him and meet his eyes. "Why are you here? You said you wanted us to be honest. What about?"

"What happened with Marian thirty years ago."

"Oh," she says, her face quickly changing from an expression of initial surprise to something far colder and less emotional. Or at least that's what she tries to make happen, but the truth is that she's finding it harder to keep everything wrapped up and talking with her once-lover isn't helping.

"But I think we should also talk about…what you're actually feeling about all of this," he suggests, stepping closer to her. "About the choice that I made."

"I don't think that's a smart idea," she says, retreating for him. It's the light touch of his hand on her arm that stops her and makes her look up at him.

"I love you," Robin says quietly. "But we both hurt each other terribly whether we intended to or not. You caused me great loss and grief thirty years ago and I broke your heart five months ago. We can't move forward until we -"

"Who says I want us to move forward?" Regina snaps back. "Just because your wife realized that she deserved better doesn't mean that I don't."

"You do," he answers, refusing to let her see just how much her words make his heart arche. "And if you don't want to move forward - if you personally don't want anything from me at all - then I can live with that as long as you allow me to be a father to our little girl. But I still think that we owe each other this conversation. I think that from the moment this all happened, from the moment I knew…" he trails off, frowning as he tries to choose his words.

But Regina, ever impatient, finishes his sentence for him, "From the moment you knew that the woman that you'd…" she looks confused and uncertain for a moment, despite his very recently declaration of love for her. And because it's easier and helps her keep filled the moats around her heart, the ones that she's quite sure about to come under assault, she finishes with, "You'd slept with the women who had been responsible for the loss of your beloved wife and the loss of your son's mother? That's what you mean to say, right?"

His eyes close for a moment. "You had her executed."

"I did," she confirms. "Or at least I would have. But I had a lot of people executed, Robin. It was…I was the Evil Queen. That was what I did."

"I know," he nods. "I do know…I do remember the nobility of our world and how easy it was for the lords and kings tehre to view life as...disposable."

"Robin, just say what you're thinking. Stop…stop beating around the bush on your feelings and just tell me that you really do see me as the monster that I am and then we can finally dispense with the rest of this…unpleasantness."

"That's what this is to you? Because I think we both know that you feel far differently than that. I know you and I know what you look like when you're hurting. I know what you look like when you're destroying yourself with guilt."

"Does it matter if I am?"

"It does to me."

She swallows and though she doesn't pull her eyes away from him - won't ever do such a thing - she starts to back away from him just so she can put a little bit of distance between the two of them. She can feel the anxiety of her baby again and feel her unhappiness at being unable to calm her mother.

"I was right the first time," she tells him, her voice a strange angry growl, rising up as her emotions and the darkness that's been stowed away inside of her for the last five months starts to bleed out on him. "You don't know me as well as you think you do. You keep saying that you think I've changed and that you know it because…because you were once someone different but you weren't someone who…you weren't the Evil Queen. And she's not as gone as everyone wants her to be. As I want her to be. Because if she were truly gone, I wouldn't have considered ways to kill Marian when she first came back."

"What stopped you?" Robin queries and that's not at all what Regina had been expecting him to ask; she'd anticipated either revulsion or another one of his attempts to tell her that she's a different woman now and it's okay.

But it's not okay because she can still remember the bloodlust she'd felt and how pure it had been and she remembers wanting Marian dead and gone.

"The Mirror - Sidney - showed me what happened in the past. I saw Marian. She saw me as who I was," Regina replies finally. "She looked into my eyes and she faced me and saw that I was nothing. And she was right. She is right."

"She might have been then, but she's not anymore," Robin insists. "I know the woman that I…slept with." He scowls darkly at that phrasing. "I know the woman that I feel in love with. And the other one might still be part of you, but the one who chose not to kill is the one who I see before me now."

Regina starts to reply to him, starts to tell him that he's a fool for such naive thoughts (and she doesn't know why she's fighting him so hard here except for the fact that she needs to know if he really means all of this and if he's willing to fight to convince her, then maybe he does) but the moment she opens her mouth, she feels a terrible pain in her belly and doubles over.

"Regina?" When she doesn't respond, he calls for her again, more frantic now.

"I'm fine…the baby…we're fine," she replies, forcing herself straight again just as he approaches. Though she's making it clear that she wants him to stay away, she can't stop herself from leaning against the wall, her hand trembling as she rubs one over her stomach and feels for the normal kicks; they're there and frantic and though she hates that her daughter is so anxious, at least it means that she's otherwise all right. "But maybe it's time for us to stop lying to ourselves about this, Robin. If this is something between us, it will always be -"

"It doesn't have to be."

"Doesn't it? Marian in the past or in the present, she's between us even when you're not with her. Because I took her from you and you chose her over me. You chose a code of honor over me and…and I know who you are, I know what it means to you, but…but you still chose it. That code was still more important to you than I was. And I don't know how to forgive you for that."

Her words came out in an angry rush and for a moment, she seems surprised because she's been trying so hard to keep everything locked inside of her and to be mature and control everything, but her heart is raw and pained and she loves this man so much but he needs to know that there's pain to share.

And well, he had asked her to be honest.

"Mom, is everything all right?" Henry says suddenly as he pushes the door open and steps in, his eyes tracking to his mother who has quickly pulled herself together so as to disguise her distress and discomfort from her son. His face hardens the moment he sees Robin. "What are you doing here?"

"Henry, it's fine," Regina assures him. "We're just talking."

"You're upset," he replies, still glaring at Robin.

"That's my fault," Robin confesses. "I pushed her too hard."

"Then you should probably leave."

"I will, but…."Robin looks over at Regina and smiles slightly, softly. "I love you," he says again, his voice quiet. "You're the woman that I want to be with. Even knowing everything that I do. Even knowing the past and the things that occurred because of who you once were. Perhaps if I hadn't spent a year with you while your son was gone, I might feel differently - and a very large part of me thinks that I probably should feel differently and I've been beating myself up because it seems inexplicable that I could possibly forgive you for this - but I did and I do because I fell madly in love with that woman who I was with - the one that pissed me off in every way that she could because her heart was broken. I know her. I know you. I know what you're capable of, Regina, and I love you all the same. But I understand if you're not willing to try again. I would certainly have earned that by choosing my honor over my love for you. I can't apologize for it nearly as much as I probably should because in the end, my honor is part of who I am just as she is part who you are. But I can apologize every day that you'll allow me to do so for having hurt you."

His words wash over her like cold water and for a moment, they just stare at each other. Until she shakes her head, bright tears gleaming in her eyes.

"I can't," she whispers.

"I understand." He offers her a sad smile and then turns to leave the office.

"Wait." She looks at Henry and then back at Robin and then she's crossing the room and everything is going insane inside of her but the only thing that seems to make sense - the only thing that seems to calm the child inside of her and the aching in her heart - is when she places both hands on his face and leans in and kiss Robin with as much passion as she can manage.

Which is a fairly considerable amount.

He melts into the contact and he thinks that he could stay here forever like this, but as kisses go, it's a short one and then she's pulling away from him.

"You may think that you've forgiven me, but I'm not…it doesn't work that easily for me. I'm not the good person that you are, Robin, and I don't forgive as easily as you do. I'm not ready yet." He starts to speak but then she's shaking her head again to silence him. "But I am willing to try to start again."

"What does that mean?"

"It means we start over and we…we see if there's anything to build on."

Henry steps forward then. "It means if you hurt her again -"

"Henry," she says softly.

It's her way of telling him to go back upstairs, but he doesn't move.

Because there are tears on his mom's face and he's sick of her being hurt.

By all of the people she loves.

Including himself.

So this time, he's going to stand beside her and protect her.

"I will do everything in my power to never hurt her again," Robin promises.

"But that's not how relationships work. Even I know that," Regina states.

"Even I know that," Henry echoes. "But you can try harder. Both of them - both my mom and my baby sister - deserve that much. Those are my conditions."

Robin looks over at Regina. "So then coffee tomorrow morning?"

"Tea," she corrects. "As…as friends. I think we need to…build from there."

"As friends," Robin agrees. And then to Henry, "And I accept your terms. If your mother does, of course. She's hardly what I'd call a damsel in distress." He smiles slightly when he says this, knowing that the only reason Regina isn't annoyed by this deal between Henry and Robin is because it's her litte boy protecting her and it's impossible for her to view such a thing negatively.

"Tea first," Regina says and will offer no promises beyond that. Because she can still remember him saying that he had to choose honor above her.

And while she can't understand how he could be willing to forgive what she'd done - she can't comprehend how he can look past the monster that she was (and still believes herself to be) - she knows that she needs to be the person he wants to be with completely and fully or this won't work.

She's told herself not to be selfish but right now she needs to be.

For herself. For Henry. And for the baby girl who is now happily kicking away inside of her that will grow up with a loving father regardless of whether or not her parents get their happily ever after with each other.

That doesn't stop her from touching Robin again.

"You are all right?" he asks. "You looked like you were -"

She cuts him off before he can worry Henry, "She has opinions," she says for the third time as she takes his hand and guides it down to her belly so that the baby can reassure him herself. "She doesn't like me upset." She'd told Archie the same thing and it occurs to her that she needs to go speak to Rumple about the magic that the baby is exhibiting but that's for later.

For now, there's just she and Robin (and Henry) and this quiet moment.

"Sometimes it's good to let the bad things out," Robin suggests. "I don't think you, me - us, any of us - were ever meant to keep everything bottled up."

"Maybe not, but most people aren't me and they don't have the well-earned terrible reputation that I do. She may be me but I don't want to be her."

She steps away from him and he knows that this is the end of this night. If he'd been hoping to reassure her again, she's not going to give him that chance. Honestly, he'd expected this evening to go much worse than this, but now that it's gotten better than he's anticipated, he's finding it hard to leave.

But then he thinks of tea and smiles to himself.

Because it's a step somewhere.

Somewhere better.

* * *

><p>She's waiting for him at the counter of the shop when he steps out and to say that he's not at all thrilled to see her is an understatement. "Your Majesty."<p>

"Our deal holds, yes?"

"Good morning to you as well."

"We made a deal. Is it still intact?"

"I believe I took your magic from you as you asked."

"And I promised you a favor in response, but the conditions of that favor stated that you couldn't ever go after the child within me, correct?"

"As long as you adhere to the original conditions of our deal."

"I expect you to keep your word, Rumple."

"I always do. What is this about, Regina?"

There's a pause and then a weary sigh. "My daughter has magic."

"Ah." He shrugs. "I thought she might. Your mother had magic and she passed it down to you and your sister. It makes sense that you would pass it along the line as well and being that the baby's father is your soulmate -"

She waves her hand impatiently, not willing to speak to him about Robin at all. "I need to know if the magic is of any danger to her or to myself."

"You tell me. Have there been problems?"

"She can sedate me."

He laughs at that. "About time someone could."

"It's not funny."

"It actually is. But if that's the extent of her magic -"

"When I got extremely upset last night, I felt for a moment like she was in deep distress and pain. She responded badly to me being…unhappy."

"White light," Rumple notes.

"What?"

"Empathy, Regina. I know you read about it during your studies."

"Yes," she admits, thinking about days long ago. She'd learned about all the different kinds of white light but only as much as they could assist her and then she'd moved past them to the kind of magic that could destroy.

The kinds that could give her a chance at getting her revenge on Snow.

Now, that all seems so foolish but then so very much of her past does.

"Your daughter seem to have an extraordinary empathetic touch from even inside the womb. Empathetic magic is not unheard of by any stretch but -" Rumple laughs again. "I think if you were to tell our fairy friends that the Evil Queen has a child within her with strong white light capabilities, they'd probably all die on the spot." He tilts his head like he's considering it.

"Rumple," she says softly, no joke in her voice, just terror. "It's me."

"And you're afraid of your inability to control your emotions."

She looks back at him, still unwilling to give him too much. He might be her former teacher and her mentor but he's hurt her terribly in the past and providing him with ammunition to do it again would be absurdly foolish.

"I can't bind an unborn child's magic," he tells her.

"That's not what I was asking for."

"Try meditation," he suggests.

"I just need to know that I'm not a threat to her. That I can't hurt her."

She's fighting back tears that she tells herself are just hormones causing extreme emotions, but suddenly the terror is very real and her daughter is reacting and then there's pain streaking through her as everything spins.

She can't be getting one thing back - can't be getting the chance at love and a future back - all to lose everything else; she can't lose this child because -

"Four decades of knowing you, Regina, and you have still never had a greater enemy than yourself," Rumple says softly, suddenly at her side, a hand lightly settled on her forearm as he helps her sit down in a wooden chair. "Breathe."

She feels a cup of tea get pushed into her hands and then there's Belle kneeling in front of her and Rumple is watching curiously from beside her.

"The only threat to your child is your iwn fears," Rumple tells her. "Control those, control your doubts and your baby is in absolutely no danger."

She looks up at him, fear still showing in her eyes. "You're sure?"

"He's sure," Belle says. "I've done a good amount of reading on white magic - mostly while I was looking for a way to defeat Zelena. As you well know, Regina, empathetic ability is a very reactive kind of magic. Your daughter is connected to you and not just in a physical sense. Rumple's suggestion of meditation isn't a bad one, but mostly, you need to try to keep yourself calm and centered. If you can, the baby can't hurt you and more importantly -"

"I can't hurt her."

Belle nods kindly at her.

"Calm and centered," Regina says. She looks up at Rumple. "Story of my life."

He smirks at her.

Like doesn't he just know it.

* * *

><p>She steps out of Rumple's shop, her mind already whirling with the need to reach out to Archie and see if he's willing to meet with her more frequently. She expects that as she gets closer to her due date - and the doctor at the hospital in Bangor still isn't entirely confident despite all the precautions and efforts that are being put in that she will make it to term - that her stress levels will most certainly rise. Add in this complicated "new" situation with Robin and well, calm has never been something that's come easily to her anyway.<p>

But for the last five months, she's been keeping herself under control.

She can do it for a few more months.

She can do anything for this child.

Slowly, she crosses the street, pulling her coat around a belly that seems to be getting larger every single night. It's starting to get uncomfortable to walk and she fears (mildly) that if she looks at her reflection, she'll be waddling.

Which is something she can't even begin to handle thinking about.

Snow White waddles. Regina Mills does not.

Speaking of Snow, Regina thinks as she enters the diner, there she is.

Sitting across from a sleepy looking Robin, talking his ear off.

They both look up at Regina and smile and it's so very strange to her still to have anyone actually happy to see her. But then Snow ruins all of the good feelings of this by saying in her brightest and most cheerful voice, "When you have a moment, I was hoping we could talk about your baby shower."

She thinks she hears Robin laugh.

He doesn't have a clue what baby showers in this world are like.

But the look on her face - the pure horror - that pretty much says it all.

"Tea," Robin offers once the moment has passed and Snow is wandering over to say hello to one of her creepy little men. He holds a steaming cup up.

A small smile spreads across her lips and she thinks she feels the baby give her a small thump - something that oddly feels like "go on and get to it."

Because yeah, this situation is complicated and new, but he's still Robin.

Regina sits down and takes the cup from him.

If their hands happen to touch for just the briefest of moments, well that's just good morning.

**TBC...**


	12. Chapter 12

They start this new arrangement of theirs by having breakfast together every other day; it's their way of trying to have an "obligation-free and easy" conversation together so that hopefully they can move forward and decide if they want to give it another go (they do, but she's scared and still hurt and he's cautious and trying too hard).

But it's nice even if Marian is still somewhat hanging over them because his relationship with her is still not yet defined (he's Roland father and in fact the parent that the little boy knows best and he and Marian are still trying to figure out how they parent together when the raw and understandably hurt emotions have them so far apart that Marian still doesn't even want to see him). They talk around the edges of it, though, because every single time her name is brought up, Robin sees the way Regina grows anxious and agitated even though she then quickly scrambles to cover up her darkening emotions.

Robin knows that she's trying so hard to control her emotions and for reasons that he can't quite understand, seeing her refusing to allow herself to express even basic frustration frustrates him. It's not her. She's still his Regina - she's still the woman that he adores and her passion is still there, but for some purpose or another, she's denying herself even simple emotions and feelings.

But he can tell as he sits across from her at breakfast that it's getting harder and harder because this pregnancy is getting even more uncomfortable; she's a a little over seven months now (they've been doing this every other morning thing of theirs for just about a month and a half now and it's better and less awkward than it'd been during the first few mornings but if he's perfectly honest with himself, he still feels like they're not connecting as they should and it's both of their fault for not just being who they both truly are).

She's amazingly beautiful as always, he thinks (and remembers how Marian had been the same even though she'd been ill most of her pregnancy), but Regina looks tired and he imagines that she probably isn't sleeping very well.

So he mentions it.

Her eyebrow lifts. "Don't you know that you're not supposed to ever tell a woman that she doesn't look good? And you're especially not supposed to tell a Queen that?" Her voice is haughty, but her exhaustion remains clear.

"You mistake my words, Your Majesty," Robin replies. "You remain as stunning as ever, but you do look as though you could perhaps stand a few more hours of sleep. Would I be incorrect in believing that?"

She sighs. "I'm finding it more difficult to locate a comfortable sleeping position and there's only so much that a body pillow can do to help."

"A body pillow?"

"Exactly what it sounds like."

"Ah. Is there…" he trails off slightly because there's so much that he would like to offer her right now - he hasn't done more than peck her on the cheek since she'd kissed him at her house the night of their conversation - but he's not sure where their lines are. She's been going out of her way to include him in everything about the baby (except for her out-of-town appointments which are still a bad risk for him to try to be involved in simply because they don't completely understand the rules of the second curse well enough to be sure that there wouldn't be some bizarre side-effect to him and his memory that they would be able to mitigate) but still, there's a chasm between them.

It's her hurt and his caution and he wants so much to jump the gap and just put his arms around her and hold her as close as possible and...

Well, he knows he has to be patient.

They both have to be.

So he says, "Can I help?"

"Can you make your daughter stop moving around so much?" she grumbles, her hand reaching at to lightly tap at her sweater-covered growing belly.

Robin smiles and she think it's one of the most unimaginably beautiful expressions because his blue eyes dance with the idea that in just a few months, he'll be holding his second child in his arms - his little girl.

"I could try," he offers. Then, pulling together all of his courage because it's been almost two months and both of them seem to be stuck in this idea that they should be taking it slow-slow-slow even though neither one of them is the kind for such a thing, Robin says, "Let me cook dinner for you tonight."

"I'm not much for hotdogs over an open flame," she replies dryly.

"I do know a few other recipes than just that," Robin assures her. "But in the defense of hotdogs over an open flame, Roland has learned quite the secret to the perfect charring of one. I would even dare say that it's quite tasty."

She snorts in amusement and then, growing more serious after a moment, tells him, "Henry's with me tonight. He's here through the weekend."

"That's not actually a problem. Roland is with me tonight," Robin answers, reminding her that for the last couple of month, Marian (by her choice) has been staying in a room above Granny's. Roland goes back and forth between them every couple of days, but the arrangement will need more solidifying before long - and better communication than the almost nothing that there currently is.

But that's not something that Robin has to worry about right now.

"So," he continues. "How about we make dinner for the boys -"

"Now it's we?"

He grins. "We."

"Fine. We can make dinner for the boys," she chuckles deep in her throat and doesn't stop him when his hand reaches out and he takes hers into his.

"And then perhaps I can see if I can help you get a good nights sleep."

Her mirth drops away. "Robin -"

"I was thinking a foot rub," he assures her. "I know we need more time before we...and I know you do, but I'd really like to spend some of it with you."

"I would like that,too," she confirms.

"You still believe that I'll leave you again."

"You're a man of honor," she states and then scowls because she hates how pathetic she sounds to herself, like she's needy and needs him. She's not, though, she insist. She can do all of this on her own. She's choosing to let him be involved with the baby, choosing to let him have a second chance and -

But it's not that easy and she knows that this hasn't been easy for him.

He's fought through her past and made peace with it and she knows that if they're going to move forward, she needs to make peace with the fact that the man she loves is one that holds his code of honor close to his heart.

The question is if he holds it closer to his heart than he does her.

But they'll never know if she doesn't give him a chance (as he has given her).

So she smiles even though her eyes are swimming with doubts and says in a voice that's meant to be confident and sure even if she's neither of those things, "Be there at exactly four this afternoon; we'll start dinner, then."

"I wouldn't dare to be late to the invitation of a Queen," he promises.

That makes her smile grow into something real and it takes everything she has not to lean across the table and kiss him hard. Thankfully, despite the sudden excitement she can feel from the baby, her belly is too big for that.

So she just holds his eyes for a moment and then stands up, wincing as she does and then scowling because everything is off-balance these days.

He has her jacket over her shoulders and arms seconds later, and she thinks - just before she glides away from him - that he really does smell quite lovely.

Like the forest that she's missed.

* * *

><p>Snow enters the office that they've been sharing ever since she had been officially hired as the consultant to the Mayor (it'd been Snow's way of saving face and Regina's way of allowing her to) and sits down at the table opposite the desk, a massive binder - THE BINDER - in her hands. "So, I was thinking -"<p>

"I still don't want the shower."

Snow waves her off with an impatient flap of her hand and a smile that would be fake on anyone else. They've had this conversation every day for over a month now and one way or another, this nightmare is going to happen.

Which is weird and bizarre and Regina is pretty sure that Snow is going to be deeply disappointed because who would show up for the baby shower of the former Evil Queen? Friend to the Charmings or otherwise, she's still hated.

It's why she has a protection spell (courtesy of Emma) around her house - because she can't trust that the many enemies that she's created and gained over th years won't use her vulnerability and lack of magic to their advantage.

This belief isn't stopping Snow from her planning; not even a little bit. In one quick motion, she opens up THE BINDER and starts gesturing to the different ideas that she's been gathering for things that they can do at the shower.

Silly little absurd games that they can play.

"This one is always a favorite, I understand," Snow says. Regina groans and immediately Snow's head pops up. "Are you all right? Do I need to -"

"I'm fine. You're not going to let this go, are you?"

"No," Snow admits, her voice quiet. "Because this is something that you should have been able to do thirty years ago. With Daniel's baby."

"Snow -"

"I probably wouldn't have been the one throwing it for you because we likely wouldn't have been in each others' lives, but we are so I'm going to."

"Snow, we're okay," Regina assures her. Because it does matter that all the progress and healing that they've made allows them to not live in the past.

But it's not so easy and it seems like the past never really wants to let any of them truly move on. She and Snow still have theirs and so do she and Robin.

"I know," Snow says. "But I want to do this, Regina. For both of us. Please."

"That was manipulative," Regina tells her, an eyebrow arched.

Snow nods. "It was. Did it work?"

Regina sighs loudly. "Fine. But I'm not playing that game. That one."

"But -"

"No."

"All right," Snow agrees amicably. "That one is out. Let's move on." She flips the page and then she's beaming and smiling and though this is the very last thing in the world that Regina actually wants to do, she'll allow it for Snow.

Because as much as Snow is desperately trying to make up for Regina never having had a child with Daniel, Regina knows that she owes Snow for not having been able to hold Emma in her arms for longer than a minute. There's blame to go around and if this one little party can continue the healing, then she will find a way to swallow her annoyance for just a few absurd hours.

Regina feels her baby wiggle inside of her, like she approves of this.

She thinks about empathy magic and how the baby reacts to her positive emotions with enthusiastic glee while seeming to sulk and grow sullen about her more negative ones, moving around in an agitated irritated manner.

Regina really - really - hopes that this is just an in-utero thing because if it's not - if her little girl truly is this emotive and opinionated and downright moody, things are going to be interesting in the Mills household for sure.

"Okay and now let's talk about the food again," Snow chirps out.

Regina sighs once again - resigns herself to this - and leans inwards.

Because if this shower is going to happen, she's damn well going to pick out the food at it and there's damn well going to be a buttercream cake.

Preferably something very very chocolate.

Because baby girl likes chocolate.

And so does her mother.

* * *

><p>Robin and Roland arrive right at four on the button and Roland is holding a bouquet of flowers - all the kind like the one that Robin had left for Regina months earlier with the note - in his hand. "For me," she asks, lowering herself down as much as she can manage before it becomes impossible to do so.<p>

He grins up at her and then kisses her on the cheek.

"Robin," Henry says stepping out of the kitchen. He's still fairly cool to the man but he's warm to Roland and smiles widely when he sees the boy.

"Henry," Robin greets, offering his hand to Henry. It's his way of trying to continue to respect Henry's place as the man of the house and protector of his mother (something that makes Regina roll her eyes in bemusement, but once again, Henry gets the free pass no one else including Robin would for such a thing). "Emma asked me to courier over this for you." He holds out a video game. "She suggested it was safe for Roland to play with you?"

"Yeah, it's just a racing game; it's cool."

"Then why don't you go play and Robin and I will make dinner," Regina suggests, understanding that Robin and Henry are still not yet ready to pretend that everything is in the past; since returning home, Henry's become very protective over his mother and her emotional growth and he's still holding that she was ever hurt against Robin. Regina's tried to talk to him about it, but ultimately, it's something that Henry will have to come to a place of peace about. In so many stubborn ways, he's like her, she muses.

"Yeah, cool," Henry says. "You need anything -"

"We'll be fine. Go. But be nice."

Henry smirks and then turns to his side and using his rapidly lengthening frame, he picks up Roland and piggybacks the giggling boy up the stairs.

"Well, he likes one of us," Robin notes wryly.

"He'll come around. He's got a big heart."

"And he's using it to protect his mother; I won't complain about that."

"His mother doesn't need protecting," she reminds him.

"It's a son's right to protect his mother," Robin insists as she leads him around the kitchen gathering pots and ingredients. He finds his eyes sweeping down to her rounded frame; her belly larger because her size is smaller and still she moves with a kind of bewildering hypnotic grace. Part of him wants to stride over and just pull her so close, but the other part wants to just watch her.

"Is that part of your code of honor?" she asks dryly, turning to look at him.

"As a matter of fact, it is," he says softly.

Their eyes meet and she thinks that though is clearly a hard memory for him, this is one of the ones that they can build on so she says gently, "Tell me."

"Not much to tell," he replies. "My father was a remarkable bastard and my mother was convenient to him. I was a boy and I should have been a man. I have no idea if it would have mattered if I had tried to be, but I know that what your son is trying to do is protect what matters the most to him. You."

She swallows and then reaches up and places a hand on each side of his bearded cheek, holding his face there just so that they can have this moment together where he's understanding that he can always feel free to share his painful past with her; hers is harder, more full of landmines of her making, but its the nightmares within his which have made him able to understand hers.

Finally, "We should probably start…I'd really like to kiss you."

She laughs because he looks so sincere and honest and he's trying so very hard to be respectful of the space between them and the need for it.

But they're close and she's touching him and she's a kind of drug to him.

"Get the eggs," she tells him and then runs a finger down the length of his jawline before slipping away from him. "And let's get to cooking. Thief."

This time, Robin is the one who laughs. Remembering her calling him by that title several hundred times during their time together in the Enchanted Forest. During when she'd been pushing him away to protect her wounded heart and he'd been falling in love with her all because of her resilience.

"Whatever Her Majesty wishes," he agrees and then catches her hand, brings it up to his lips and kisses one of her fingertips, nipping it ever so gently.

He thinks he hears her inhale but then she's shoving him away.

And grinning.

Like she's happy.

Like she's happy that he's here with her.

* * *

><p>The meal is better than expected and halfway through it, Henry thaws enough for him and Robin to be talking about riding horses and then Regina is joining in and it gets to be quite the raucous conversation with only Roland behaving.<p>

Until Roland innocently reminds his father of the time that he'd accidentally ridden his horse into the actual backside of Little John.

And ended up face over ass in a puddle of mud with all the Merry Men standing over him.

Regina laughs and Henry laughs and then Robin and Roland laugh, too.

It's nice and lovely and pleasant.

And baby girl is happy and calm and even giddy, lightly kicking her approval.

* * *

><p>When Henry hugs his mother goodnight before hustling Roland up to bed (with the narrowed-eye assumption that Robin will come get him when he's ready to leave), he tells his little sister it's time to crash as well. "Let mom sleep," he chides and then he's out of the room with Roland.<p>

"Let me," Robin says as he starts gathering up plates. After almost eight months in this world, he's come to understand much about it, but he still insists on washing dishes by hand (she has every intention of putting them in the dishwasher later, but she'll let him do this if only for her own amusement).

"By all means," Regina allows. Then, "You're not so bad at cooking."

"Even I got sick of hotdogs over an open flame," Robin chuckles.

"Even the perfectly charred ones?"

"Even those."

"It's been a long time since I've had one," she allows. "Before I came to this world, I'd only tasted them that way once or twice before. With my father on the rare occasion that he was allowed to take me out on the hunt with him and the nearby lords. And that only happened when I was very young."

"How young?"

"Younger than eight. Mother was…well, it wasn't part of her plan for me."

He smiles grimly at that and simply says, "No."

Because he understands that all too well.

"She would be….so disappointed in me."

"For being pregnant?"

"Partially. For you."

"Because I'm -"

"A common thief."

Robin considers this for a moment and then says lightly, "I would argue that I'm a common thief with excellent cooking skills. And the willingness to do the dishes. Would that perhaps change her opinion of me at all?"

"Probably not."

"Shame. I am willing to make the bed from time to time as well."

"Are you now?"

"Sheets must be changed after all."

"Is this you flirting with me?" she asks, her eyebrow arched again in that way that drives him just a little bit wild (not that he'll admit it quite so easily).

"Does it sound as dreadful to you as it does to me?"

"Yes."

He shrugs. "Well, I'm not here for my flirting skills; I believe that I promised you that I would try to help you sleep tonight, yes?" He flexes his hands.

"You did promise me a foot-rub," Regina agrees.

"I did." He motions to the couch.

She takes a step and then stops, "Did you do this for Marian as well?"

He doesn't hesitate, won't lie to her about this. "I did," he allows.

"If you could do this all over, would you change things?"

"I'm still working through that," he admits. "What I know is that I made everything worse and I hurt two people I care for deeply. One is giving me a second chance but the other may never forgive me and she has that right."

Regina doesn't speak for a moment, tries to swallow back the first thoughts that come to her mind - the darker ones that want her to tell Robin that it doesn't matter if Marian ever does because she's not needed or wanted in their lives - but then she thinks about how three decades ago, Marian had screamed at her that if she'd only had love then she wouldn't feel so empty.

Marian had been right.

Marian isn't the villain in this story; she is.

She starts to retreat and as she does, her vision begins to go fuzzy as the baby protests the dark emotions that are suddenly spilling through her mother.

"Regina?"

She forces herself to take a breath.

The past is thirty years behind her.

She's still the Evil Queen but she's Regina Mills as well.

She can be Regina and be happy as Regina; the Evil Queen can't have that.

So she breathes and she breathes and Robin is touching her face and he's echoing what she'd done to him in the kitchen to help him balance.

"I'm okay," she says finally. "Just…I'm sorry."

He tilts his head. "Sorry?"

"That I hurt you. That I broke your heart. That I made you grieve and mourn." Her voice cracks and breaks and she feels remorse so deep that it burns.

She feels the blackness on her heart like it's molten gold.

He won't deny that she did any of those things, just keeps his hands on her face and places his forehead against hers as he lowers them to the couch.

His arms slide around her and hers around him. She feels the baby calming, relaxing into the comfort and care that is being offered to her mother.

"We're right here," Robin says gently, kindly. "We are who we are now. We can't go back and we can't change things. You are exactly who I want to be with right here right now. In this moment in time. You. Just you. I love you."

She answers his words with a passionate kiss right onto his soft lips and then another kiss that's even steamier (and definitely reciprocated in kind) and if finding a way to sleep is uncomfortable and awkward, getting passionate and fired up - despite the hormones that suddenly flick her libido on in a hurry - is even more difficult because her belly is large and the couch isn't and there's just not enough room for anything besides this awkwards clumsy making out.

Which makes them both laugh after a few moments, still close together.

"I owe you a foot-rub," Robin remembers, kissing the top of her hair.

"So start rubbing," she orders in her most imperial tone.

He just chuckles and gets to work.

He has good hands, she thinks as she lets out a deep groan.

But then, she already knew that.

* * *

><p>He leaves with Roland - reluctantly - at just after two in the morning and if they happen to engage in a bit of late night kissing on the couch and his hands happen to slide beneath the hem of her shirt for just a moment or two (and hers beneath the hem of his), well it's just their way of saying good night.<p>

Perhaps a bit of good morning, too.

She closes the door behind him and grins.

And nearly jumps when she sees a sleepy Henry watching her from the bottom of the staircase, his flannel pants noticeably too short for him again.

"Good date?" he asks, rubbing at his eyes.

"It wasn't a…yes."

"He makes you happy?"

"He wants to."

"Have you forgiven him?"

She thinks for a long moment - thinks about how her son refuses to stop trying to protect her - before answering him honestly, "I really want to."

"I love you, Mom," Henry says and then heads back upstairs, back to bed.

She swallows back the desire to break into tears, curses her hormones, scolds the baby for making her feel so damned emotional (she can almost feel the baby respond with a weird kind of happiness at that) and then follows Henry up the stairs.

* * *

><p>She's more relaxed when she falls asleep but that doesn't stop the dreams.<p>

It doesn't stop her mother from coming to visit her.

From coming to tell her that she's fooling herself.

"Tell me, Regina, will you raise your daughter as I raised you?"

"No."

Mother laughs. "You think you're so different than me. So much better. But your son abandoned you, rejected you because he doesn't love you."

"He just told me that he does."

"Pretty lies, my dear daughter."

"I know my son."

Mother smiles, wicked and cold. "A little girl just like you."

And then Mother reaches for her, like she's reaching for the baby.

Regina wakes up with a silent scream on her lips.

She tells herself that Mother is wrong.

She knows that Mother is wrong.

All the same, sleep never returns to her. Not for this night at least.

**TBC...**


	13. Chapter 13

It's Archie who says it this time, his voice low and kind and his bright eyes worried behind his glasses. But it's a statement, a quiet, "You're not sleeping well."

"No," Regina admits as her hands settle on her belly and then lift away. She's almost eight months pregnant now and time seems to be flying so quickly but she's not finding relief as her due date emerges over the trees, but rather a strong sense of trepidation instead. Because the closer she gets to the day when she'll get to finally hold she and Robin's baby in her arms, the more afraid she becomes about what she sees in the mirror when she looks into it.

And the more frightened she gets about the things she sees in her sleep.

"Nightmares?" Archie asks. Off her nod, he pushes on with, "Your mother?"

His eyes meet with hers and though her first impulse is to lie to him about this, he knows her too well by now and so she doesn't even bother to try.

"Most nightsm yes. Sometimes I see other children. Emma. Owen. Henry."

"Emma's doing all right for herself."

"No thanks to me. And Owen…isn't." She thinks about an innocent boy who had become a terrible man. A victim who had become a monster. She'd walked that path as well except in Owen's case, she'd been his boogeyman.

She'd been Owen's genesis just as her mother and Rumple had been hers.

"No," Archie agrees. "But you and Henry -"

"Are good," she says with a soft smile, her dark eyes dancing for a bit. She can feel the baby bounce a bit as she always seems to do whenever Regina finds herself thinking about Henry. "My little prince is becoming a man."

"A fine young man," Archie expands. "Which you had a lot to do with."

Regina starts to protest, but he shakes his head to stop her. "You can't change the past," he reminds her. "And sometimes, it's best to just accept the now."

"I know."

"Do you mind if I make an observation?"

"Isn't that what I pay you to do?"

He chuckles. And then says, "You're quite…calm. For you."

"That's a good thing, right?"

"It can be, but it's not always good to keep everything in."

"I'm aware."

"And yet you're actively trying to do exactly that. Why?"

"Because I'm actively trying to be a better person. Someone who doesn't let their rage get the best of them. I'm trying to understand why Robin made the choice he did and be mature about it. Because that's what good people do."

"Okay," he accepts. "But I think there's more to this than just that."

She scowls at him for seeing right through her, but then sighs and says, "I told you before that I thought that my baby has magical abilities, right? Well, I went to see Gold and he told me he thought that what she has is what's called empathy magic. Which means that she reacts to my emotions and feelings."

"So you're trying to protect her from -"

"Myself," she finishes for him, her self-loathing lowering her voice.

"And who are you talking to in order to help you with that?"

"You."

"A few times a week," Archie reminds her with that infuriating patience of his. "But what about Snow? Or Robin? You two are back together, aren't you?"

"Somewhat. We are still…working through some issues." She doesn't tell him that though they've continued having breakfast and dinner with each other several times a week, Robin hasn't spent the night and they haven't moved past kissing and just the slightest bit of under the shirt action with each other.

It feels a bit like they're two groping children and it's driving her insane.

Maybe that's pregnancy hormones or maybe it's just the fact that she's always been a woman of many passions and though it had - and has - been her choice completely to ask him not to stay, this gentlemanly and entirely polite behavior (where he lets her initiate everything) is starting to really get to her.

"The him not choosing you kind of issues?" Archie presses.

"More like the me having killed his wife in an alternate timeline kind."

"Those can be problematic."

She tilts her head and gives him a look that can only say, "no shit."

"Is he having problems still with what you did?"

"No. I am."

"Are you having problems with him not having problems with what you did?"

"No," she allows. "He's…believes he sees someone better than who I was."

"And you don't believe that."

"I want to believe that. As for Robin not choosing me…I think that he's struggling with that now more than I am." She laughs, the sound humorless and she feels the baby shift around anxiously so she settles her fingers over the swell and gently taps it as if to reassure her little girl that everything is all right. "The irony of all of this is that he's struggling with what I should be and I'm struggling with what he should be. Not that he's talking to me about it."

"The two of you haven't been speaking to each other about this?"

"I think that he believes that he hurt me and owes me to just be the perfect caring boyfriend who never argues with me and always just tries hard."

"That's not how relationships work."

"Yes, I know. I'm abysmal at relationships and even I know that."

"Are you worried that if you actually talk to him, you'll lose your temper?"

"Yes."

"Does he know about the empathy magic?"

"No."

Archie tilts his head. "Why not?"

"Having a child with magical properties can be terrifying."

"He's dating the woman who used to be the Evil Queen."

She smiles at that, though it doesn't reach her eyes. "True."

"What do you think is causing him the most distress right now?"

"His honor," Regina replies softly, thoughtfully, her stomach roiling painfully as she remembers the ugly and dark emotions of that afternoon so many months ago (she can feel the baby reacting so she taps her fingers again.) "It let him down. He told me when he chose Marian over me that if he didn't have his code to live by, then he didn't know what kind of life he was living."

"And now he's realizing that maybe his code of honor isn't as absolute - and as always right - as he'd once thought it to be," Archie surmises.

"Is anything absolute?"

"No, but do you think maybe the fact that you two aren't discussing what you're both dealing with is why you're only sort of back together?"

"The little one inside of me has taken up most of my focus."

She gets a bit of a kick for that - something like "don't blame me for the two of you not being able to talk." It's a message that Regina rolls her eyes at.

"Of course," Archie allows. "But my suggestion to you? Tell him what you're going through. Surely he's noticed that you haven't been sleeping well."

"He has and he's overly concerned," she confesses. "But he doesn't push."

"Because -"

"Because he thinks he owes me for what he did."

"And that upsets you?"

"We're going in circles here, but yes, because as I said, we're both upset about what the other one should be upset about and its getting us nowhere."

"Then do what you do best, Regina: take control." Archie is smiling when he says this and if she'd expected any kind of condemnation from the many times when her doing exactly that had led to darkness, she doesn't find it.

"Fine," she agrees, almost grouchily. "Now let's change the subject; what have you heard about the baby shower? It's happening tomorrow morning and…well, is it going to be the epic disaster that I'm expecting it to be?"

"Maybe it'll surprise you," he tells her, adjusting his glasses carefully.

Her eyes narrow. "What do you know?"

He chuckles. "Nothing I'm allowed to say; just know that Snow White loves you very much." He pauses. "Try to remember that tomorrow as well."

"That bad?"

"She loves you very much," he says once again, smiling at something only he knows. "And she's been looking forward to throwing you this baby shower."

"Wonderful," Regina drawls. She then stands up to leave, groaning at the discomfort of the motion. When Archie moves to assist, she quickly waves him back. "I may be as large as a cow, but I'm still more capable than one."

"Talk to Robin," Archie urges again. "Even mutually desired relationships can't survive without complete truth. And emotional honesty. Especially from you."

"The next time I go insane and start throwing curses around, remember you gave me permission to lose my temper," Regina quips, but then she smiles.

Because he's not even remotely scared of her.

And for once, that feels pretty damned nice.

* * *

><p>Robin gets to the house at just after six, dressed in cargo pants and a black long-sleeved shirt. His color scheme remains overly simplistic and he's still not quite adapting to jeans, but has found an affinity for the Henleys. And they do look quite good on him, often accentuating his muscled abdomen.<p>

Which Regina isn't shy about looking at as he steps through the door and leans in to kiss her, a hand settling on her hip. He's being careful not to make the contact uncomfortable, aware of the large bump between them.

It's not a metaphor but sometimes she thinks that it is.

"Hi," she says, her hand on his face.

"Hi," Robin greets her in return. And then he holds up a plastic bag full of paper cartons. "Chinese food. As you requested. It smells…curiously."

"You'll love it." She steps away from him and moves towards the kitchen, letting him trail behind her. "Since Roland is with his mother tonight, I asked Emma if Henry could spend the night with her so that it's just the two of us."

"I have no complaints with that."

"You might," she says as she reaches up and brings down two plates. "If you were eating this meal with Emma or David, they would likely have you using chopsticks, but I prefer to pretend that I still have a little class left in me."

"I'm fairly certain that nothing could ever make you classless, my beautiful Queen," Robin says with a warm chuckle as he takes the plates from her.

"Good answer."

"So, why is it that you think I'll complain about this evening?" he asks.

She pauses for a moment, marshals her courage and then turns to face him, "I don't think that this is working out for us," she says, her head help up high.

He looks down at the plate in his hand. "Oh. You've…changed your mind?"

"No, I haven't," she answers quickly. She steps around the counter and comes close to him. "But something between us isn't as it should be, Robin; it isn't."

"You've noticed that, too."

"You haven't been the pain in the ass that I'm used to," she informs him.

"And you haven't been the explosive firebrand that I'm used to."

"There's a reason for that. I think there's a reason for both things." She takes a deep breath. "I've been working very hard to control my emotions - my anger and my hurt and everything that I feel and it's so much all the time, but…" she reaches for his hand and brings it to her belly. "Our baby, she has my magic."

"Yours? I thought -"

"What I mean is: she's inherited my magic. She has magic of her own."

"Oh."

Regina cocks her head to the side. "Does that frighten you?"

"A bit," he confesses. "Magic has hurt so many people. Including you."

"It has, but her magic is…different than mine. It's called empathy magic. So for instance, right now I'm feeling…scared and confused and conflicted and she's trying to tell me to calm down and that everything is going to be fine."

"She's actually saying those things?"

Regina chuckles, the sound deep and throaty. "No, not…exactly, but those are the types of sensations that I'm getting from her. When you touch me, when you're close, she's happy and I can feel that. Her emotions are uncontrolled and so they leak into my own. The older she's gotten, the more they have."

"Are you…is she…are you both safe?"

"Yes. There have been a couple moments when I may have frightened her and she overreacted and I can't say that they were painless moments, but we are okay. For me, though, it's meant trying to stay calm as much as I can."

"Would you be angry with me for everything if you weren't trying to?"

"Not anymore. I came to an understanding about something today. We both have the same problem," she notes. She steps away from him and hands him one of the cartons of Chinese food. "We're both angry but at ourselves. Me for what I took from you and for what I made you go through and you -"

"For what I made you go through."

"And we're both getting nowhere with any of it. I don't want you apologizing with your eyes every time you walk into the room. I want the man who I wanted to drop out of a castle window. And I would hope that you want -"

"The woman who considered dropping me out of that window, yes."

"Then talk to me. Talk...to me."

He puts the carton down on the table and looks at her. "If my honor can fail me now when it seemed so obvious what my choice had to be, how many times has it failed me in the past and I didn't even realize that it had?"

"You are still an honorable man to me," she tells him as she takes his hand.

"Who broke the hearts of two women whom he adores."

"Yes," she says. "But I broke yours as well."

"It seemed so obvious," he insists again.

"Maybe that should have been your first clue," she tells him. "I've done so many things that were…evil…and they all seemed obvious. Easy, even."

"Easy was what I was trying to get away from," he says. "Easy was what made me a man of dishonor. It was what made my father the vile monster that he always was. Everything was so easy and simple and then…and then I let down a friend because it was easy and he died for it and I wanted to always do the difficult thing as long as it was also the right one and this seemed like that."

"I've told a lot of lies," Regina states. "I'm not sure that any of them have ever been right and at the risk of being selfish, you were always telling a lie."

He swallows. "I know."

"Robin. Robin, look at me. Please."

His eyes lift up and meet hers.

"I love you. The man of honor and the one who occasionally screws up. I love that man because if you weren't that man, you couldn't accept me."

"I don't want to hurt you again."

"But you will. That's…I think that's the nature of love. It includes pain." Her fingers tangle with his. "I'm a former Evil Queen under strict emotional control because when I'm not, the opinionated one inside of me gets cranky about it. But I am still me and there will be times when I will be angry and mean and I will hurt you and need you to forgive me for it. You've seen the worst of me -"

"And also the best."

"And you love me?"

"More than you can imagine."

"Then let me accept both parts of you," Regina urges. "You accept the Evil Queen and Regina, well let me accept the Hero Outlaw and Robin."

Finding any words he could muster insufficient, he leans over and so very gently presses his lips to hers, the contact soft and almost even chaste.

He thinks he feels her breathe into him. It's his sign to deepen the kiss and though he hesitates for the briefest of moments, the desire and urge to touch this woman that he so deeply loves and cherishes finally takes over entirely.

He kisses her as hard as he can and lets everything just flow towards her.

Everything that he is, both good and bad, righteous and flawed.

And then he hears her say, "Stay with me tonight."

He thinks to ask if she's sure, but her eyes are dark and he knows she is.

He kisses her again and wraps his arms around her, pulling her so close.

They'll get to the Chinese food later.

* * *

><p>Making love to a heavily pregnant woman takes a good amount of acrobatic skill, and he has to stop himself from laughing a couple times because she's clearly not used to having her body not be quite as liquid as it typically is.<p>

Their first - and only - time together, she'd flowed over him, pure sensuality.

It's different this time and both Regina's oversized belly and the baby within said belly make themselves known a couple really strange times in the middle of things. These minor inconveniences are hardly dealbreakers, though, and instead Robin finds himself laughing with Regina as they fit together and then holding her as his mirth turns into an electric passion that feels so very right.

After Regina finally succumbs to her exhaustion, he finds himself watching her, just thinking about the things that he's held so tightly onto. His code of honor which had been used to rebuild him and now needs to be rebuilt itself.

Seems as though everything needs to be rebuilt eventually.

Perhaps, Robin thinks as he gently presses a kiss down onto her exposed back, when something is forced to be rebuilt, perhaps it can be built to be even stronger than it once was. Perhaps that's the whole point, anyway.

* * *

><p>Regina wakes up trembling and he comes to just as quickly, his arms circling her. She struggles for a moment against him, unused to the contact and so he loosens his grip and waits for her, saying her name softly as she calms down.<p>

When she finally does, Robin asks gently, "What did you see?"

"No...nothing," she stammers.

"You can tell me," he assures her. "You can tell me anything."

She turns and looks at him, her face scrubed of makeup and so very young and innocent. Finally, quietly, "I saw Mother. Telling me I'll be just like her."

"You're nothing like her," he insists.

'How do you know?"

"Because I'm nothing like my father. Because I chose...choose not to be."

"But I was her. I became -"

"You're not her. You're Regina. Just Regina."

"She won't leave me alone. She won't leave me."

"She can't have you - or our little girl - either. And she's wrong."

"I made so many mistakes with Henry."

"And still he loves you. You're not alone, Regina; we're in this together."

She exhales and falls back against his arms. "I don't want to be her."

"You're not her. I'm not him," he says again. "We're not them."

She turns fully in his arms now - as much as she can and smiles somewhat tiredly, a bit in bemusement. "Our daughter is telling me to calm down."

"Well since she clearly has my common sense, listen to her."

"You lived in a forest for years -"

"And survived George and John hunting for my head; I win that one, yeah?"

"I suppose." She leans up and kisses his chest, just over his beating heart.

"I'm here," he assures her and then slips an arm around her again. "I'll be here when you wake up as well. This is where I want to be. With the both of you."

"She likes that answer."

"Good. Any chance I can get you to close your eyes and sleep again?"

"Slowly," she says. "I'll get there. Tell me about Roland."

"Roland? What would you like to know?"

"He's going to be a big brother soon. Is he all right with it?"

Robin laughs at that. "He's better than all right with it. He has no idea what it really means but he's quite excited to a be a big something. And fascinated by the baby being inside of you. As….I think he's told you a few times."

"He has," she allows. "She likes both her brothers." Her eyes droop closed again and though she still fears the nightmares, she falls back into sleep telling herself the same thing she has every night - that Mother is wrong.

She doesn't completely believe it yet - even Robin can't just wipe away decades of misguided love and being tainted by Mother's dark ambitions with the strength of his love - but she thinks that maybe one day, she will.

* * *

><p>It's the constant pounding on the front door of the house that wakes her up and when she looks over, she sees Robin sleepily opening his eyes as well.<p>

"We didn't have doorbells in the Enchanted Forest," he grumbles once the bell starts. He drops his head back to the pillow. "Can we go back there?"

"We can send Snow back there," Regina sighs. "But somehow I think she'd still find a way to throw me this absolutely ridiculous baby shower that she's so insistent on." She sits up slowly in the bed, groaning loudly from both the soreness of being pregnant and that of the actions of the previous night.

The latter at least feels fairly pleasant, but the former…well not so much.

Her back hurts and her feet ache and even her head is pounding today.

Or maybe that's just Snow's ringing and pounding.

"Get up," Regina tells him. "I should probably go let her in before she breaks in again. Last time I had to hire Dorky Dwarf to fix my lock."

"I think his name is Dopey."

"If you say so. Now get up. And don't use up all the hot water."

"I could always wait for you," he suggests as he pulls her back close, drawing her in and pressing his lips against hers, his teeth nipping for just a moment.

"Mm, I don't think we'll both fit in there."

"I'm pretty sure all of my Merry Men could fit in your shower," he answers, his mouth pressed against her collarbone and then lifting to her silky jawline.

She laughs and is about to reply when the doorbell starts up again.

"I'll leave some hot water for you," Robin promises and then reluctantly lets Regina out of his arms, his hand trailing down his bare skin for just a moment.

She catches his hand, kisses it, lets it go, and then grabs her bathrobe and yanks it on.

When she leaves the room, she's grinning at him and he's wondering why he's letting her out of his sight.

* * *

><p>She pulls open the door and glares at the three women standing on the step - an excited and peppy Snow, an apologetic and sleepy Emma and Ruby.<p>

"Tell me you didn't bring over your grandmothers' frozen lasagna."

"I didn't. Just cupcakes." Her smile is kind of…predatory. And amused.

"Regina, you got coffee?" Emma asks, her eyes flickering over Regina's bathrobe and the decidely messy look of the older woman's dark hair.

"Of course. Why don't the three of you come in. And Snow? Stop that."

Snow just smiles bigger and then reaches behind her and picks up a massive brown paper bag. "There's more in David's truck. Lots more. Let's get going!"

Regina just rolls her eyes and steps out of the way, letting the women in.

While wondering what happened to the Queen who would have hated this.

She feels her baby girl bounce in response to the that and thinks, "Right."

Okay.

And somewhere above her, the shower turns off.

**TBC...**


	14. Chapter 14

The decent and delicate thing to do here would be to pretend that they hadn't heard the shower turning off upstairs. Emma and Ruby both do that, the two of them moving around to other parts of the kitchen like they're trying to find knives to cut up vegetables that haven't yet been taken out of one of the massive paper bags. Snow, though, she looks up and then grins.

"Do you a have a house-guest?" she asks, both scandalized and delighted.

"I forgot to turn my water off when I left the bedroom."

Snow tilts her head. "Your hair isn't wet."

"I used magic."

"Your magic is bound."

"A magic blow dryer."

Ruby snorts and mutters something about how even she is better at this.

"So Robin?" Snow presses as she starts unpacking one of the bags.

"David, actually."

"Ewww," Emma groans. "Why do you keep going back to that?"

"Does the visual of me with your father repulse you, Miss Swan?" Regina asks, her eyebrow lazily lifted up in a way undeniably meant to antagonize Emma.

"The visual of my father naked repulses me, yes."

"And I don't like it," Snow admits, her tone more teasing than rebuke.

"Well, luckily for all of you ladies, I am not David," Robin says as he steps down the stairs, dressed in the clothes from the night before. He gives Regina an apologetic look and a shrug. "The roof was a bit too slick to climb down after last night's rainfall."

"And we weren't going away," Ruby notes before offering Robin a bagel that she pulls out of a bag that Regina hadn't previously noticed. A small kick in the middle of her belly reminds her that both she and the baby are hungry.

Thankfully, Ruby sees her eyes on the bag and doesn't make Regina ask, instead just passing it over to her and letting her remove two of the bagels before the former queen returns her attention to her once-again lover.

Who seems to realize that this is probably not somewhere he wants to be (it's plainly not somewhere that Regina wants to be, either, but she can't get out of it as easily as he can). "Well, as this is traditionally an event meant for all of you beautiful women, I suppose I should be going," he says with a soft smile.

"Coward," Regina grouses, her eyebrow cocked. Her hand slips out and she rubs at her belly, actively trying to settle the movements of her daughter.

His smile grows and then he leans over and presses his lips to hers. If she was about to say anything about the public display of affection (is it really public if its occurring within her own house?), the excited kick from inside of her stops her from doing it. This kid really and truly does love her daddy already.

"Enjoy yourselves," Robin says once he separates and she has no doubt that he's speaking both to her and to his daughter. He nods to the three women who are all watching them with varying looks of amusement and interest.

When he's gone, Regina turns back to the counter and starts preparing her bagels like nothing's happened. Like the Evil Queen hadn't just had a really tender moment with her lover in front of three of her former mortal enemies.

But she had and only Emma is willing to snort and let it go.

Snow wants to know everything which…no.

So Regina clears her throat, rubs her belly once again (the baby is still moving around excitedly) and says coolly, "So, when is this nightmare commencing?"

Because that will surely get Snow to change the subject.

It works like a charm.

Thank the gods for that, anyway.

Though, considering what's coming up next, she wonders absently if perhaps talking about her sex life with these three women would be preferable.

Talk about the lesser of two evils.

Problem is, she truly doesn't know which one is the lesser of them.

* * *

><p>Regina doesn't know if she's more horrified by the fact that her house is full of people or the fact that she's tried to murder everyone in her house at least once. She'd very much been expecting Snow to be apologizing for the low turn-out, but apparently Snow is extremely persuasive. That or there are lot of women in this town just aching to see the Evil Queen being forced to play silly little games that involve an obnoxious amount of inane giggling.<p>

There are balloons and streamers everywhere and gods if it doesn't look like some kind of party store exploded inside her house in a terrible way.

At least the chocolate buttercream cake (and the cupcakes that Granny had sent over) is fantastic. Well, the bits of it that Regina is able to sneak between Snow's silly games (thankfully, Emma had won the battle on when to cut it up, insisting that a constant flow of sugar could only be good for everyone).

But it doesn't make up for when Snow starts explaining how to play a game that essentially equates to placing cotton balls on Regina's head to see how many can actually fit up there. When Regina demands to know what the purpose of such a thing would be, Snow just laughs and says, "It's for fun."

There's this awful game that involves diapers full of melted chocolate and Regina's fully sure that this is some sick joke from Snow but it's mostly just gross and she spends the whole game wondering how it is that the girl that had been a step from the crown had ended up with the couth of a redneck.

Then there's the nursery rhymes music that is playing the whole time. It's like cheerful nails on a chalkboard and even Emma looks like she's going insane when the CD loops for the fifteenth time so that it can again play the song about some dog named Bingo. But Snow insists that it's mood music.

And baby girl? Much to Regina's chagrin, when the little one isn't fidgeting around in her belly like she can't get comfortable, she appears to love it.

Every time Regina starts to get grouchy (her temper snaps when Snow pulls out a string and starts rambling something about everyone guessing how big the bump is), the baby seems to throw out some extra "calm" vibes.

"My mother means well," Emma says when she comes up beside Regina as she watches Snow cleaning up one of the games, a cup of bright red punch in Emma's right hand. Regina immediately reaches for it and sniffs it.

"Yes, tell me that again later when you're not doctoring up the punch."

"It was either that or go destroy your CD player," Emma replies.

"Valid point. Tell me this is almost over," Regina pleads, her hand on her belly again. She's a bit sore today, but well, that's pregnancy and probably a little to do with her more than boisterous activities with Robin the previous evening.

Emma points over towards the table of gifts. "After you open those."

"You realize that everyone in this room hates me, right? In my kingdom, we utilized tasters and guards for things like this. To keep me from dying."

"No one is dying," Snow says as she comes back, grabbing Emma's cup as she passes by. "This isn't our kingdom, Regina. Try to have some faith."

"She's been doctoring her own drink, too, hasn't she?" Regina asks.

"She must be," Ruby muses as she comes up beside them. She reaches under her coat and extracts a flask, handing it over to Emma and shrugging at the openly wistful expression she sees on Regina's face. "But the sooner you get to opening up the gifts and oohing and aahing at all of them, the sooner everyone goes away and your handsome outlaw can come back and -"

"And we're going over here now," Emma interupts with a loud laugh before Regina can reply with some kind of acerbic response, a hand around her arm as she pushes the older woman towards the couch. "Whatever you were just about to say to her, just try to remember that she helped us do this for you."

"Which is exactly why she deserves whatever I was going to say to her."

"Admit it, you kind of like that people care about you enough for this."

"What I'll admit is that I don't know why they would. You know this is strange, Emma. I earned their hatred and people don't just forgive and forget."

"Maybe they haven't. Maybe they're just moving on. Like all of us have. Maybe it realy is okay to let the past go and realize that it all worked out for the best." She squeezes Regina's forearm and then moves away to go retrieve Snow.

"Moving on," Regina sighs, her eyes on the pile of gifts. "We shall see."

* * *

><p>There are, in fact, no weapons of surprise death, maiming or even destruction to be found in the pile of baby gifts. Just a lot of dreadfully ugly things, alas.<p>

The vast majority of the shower gifts are clothes that she wouldn't let even Snow wear even during the days when they'd actually mostly hated each other. They're ugly and really, does everyone from the Enchanted Forest lack even basic taste? Or are they all wearing blindfolds when they get dressed.

Suffice it to say, it takes every bit of Regina's political experience to smile and act grateful as she's holding up an atrocious onesie with yellow cows on it.

There's a blanket that looks like someone without fingers had knit it. It's also puke green and pink and has a bizarre winged creature in the middle of it.

Regina's fairly sure that the fairies had sent it over as a kind of spite gift.

Thankfully, there's also a few cute little stuffed animals and some of those baby's first this-or-that kind of toys and a couple books. Those can stay.

Emma gives her a red leather jacket that will fit baby girl when she's about two and it's just hideous (and Emma Swan) enough to make Regina laugh and nod her head in appreciation as Emma is grinning knowingly at her.

"Okay, just mine is left," Snow says and hands Regina a suspiciously small box (it's covered in garishly pink wrapping paper) , a bright smile on her lips.

Regina accepts it slowly, her hand again rubbing at her belly.

She can practically hear her daughter pleading her mother for calm.

But she is calm, she insists to herself.

This is okay.

Everything is okay.

She opens the box and looks inside.

The color drains from her face.

Everything isn't okay at all.

"Regina," she hears Snow call out after her, but then she's slamming the door behind her and fleeing from her own house as fast as she can manage.

Even baby girl and her super calming mojo can't make this better.

* * *

><p>By the time Snow finds her at the office that they now share, she's hunched over on the sofa, her arm around her middle, her teeth grit in sharp pain.<p>

"Should I call Doc?" Snow asks as she slowly approaches.

"I need you to go away."

"Regina, please -"

"Go. Away."

"Please. Talk to me."

Regina looks up at her, tears on her cheeks, her face pinched tight with pain and hurt. "If you never stopped hating me, then why all this pretending?"

"Hating you? I've never hated you."

"You could fool the hell out of me," Regina growls. "That's what that was, wasn't it? A reminder of what I took away from you and Emma? Your baby."

"No, Regina, no." Snow finishes her slow approach, sitting down next to Regina on the couch and then reaching out to gently rub her former stepmothers' back. She feels the older woman flinch beneath her fingertips, but she's clearly not feeling well enough to move away. "I didn't give you that gift as a way to hurt you; I gave you that as a way for us to start over."

"It belonged to Emma," Regina insists, wincing again, sharper this time.

"And she was okay with you having it. Because what happened that day, it's in the past. What happened wasn't what any of us wanted and I wish to God that I'd had the chance to raise my daughter myself, but all of us - we have Henry and Emma is happy now and David and I are happy and you have Robin and this little girl. I wouldn't give any of that back for anything in the world."

"You can't be serious."

"I am." Snow reaches under her coat and removes the unicorn mobile that had once been above the crib that would have belonged to baby Emma. "This should have been what helped Emma fall asleep every night when she was just a baby, but that's not what happened and if it had been, then you might never have remembered the amazing woman that you were before I broke my promise to you and we might not have ever had a chance to remember how much…maybe I would never have had a chance to remember how much I love you. And Emma, I wish she had never gone through the nightmare of what she did, but I love my daughter desperately. I love this Emma. The one she might have been, we'll never know, but I know this one and she is strong and beautiful and an amazing woman who is so full of love and compassion and the ability to forgive. I like to think that all of those things would have been possible in the Enchanted Forest as well, but I know that all of them are possible here and if she can accept that - if she can accept who she is - then maybe we can, too?"

"Emma was okay with this?" Regina asks, looking doubtful. Sure, she and Emma are good - better than good - these days, but there are still moments when Regina finds herself wondering how that could possibly be.

"David, too. You're our family, Regina. It's not just Henry and Robin who are looking forward to her; we are all looking forward to meeting her." Snow extends her palm, the mobile in it. The unicorns gleam brightly in the light of the office, clinking together as she presses them into Regina's hand.

"I have spent so much time trying not to think about the things I've done but if this situation with Robin has taught me anything, it's that I can't run from having hurt the people I care about. I blamed you for so long for what happened that day, but I took more from you than you ever took from me."

"I don't think it works like that," Snow says, her hands covering Regina's.

"Why are you so willing to forgive me? Why is everyone - Robin? Emma?"

"I like indoor plumbing," Snow says with a bright smile. "And I love my grandson desperately. There's nothing that would make me give him up."

"And Emma?"

"Understands better than either one of the useless nature of wishing that something was other than it is. We are who we are and I kind of like us."

"You really are a hopeless idiot."

"Hopeful."

Regina nods, unable to hide yet another wince. "Is all the cake gone?"

"There's still some left," Snow assures her. "How about we stop in to see Doc just to make sure everything is okay -" she gives Regina a hard look to prevent any argument and finds herself frowning when the older woman doesn't provide even a slight one - "And then we can head back to the house?"

"Not if everyone is still there. I really don't -"

"They're gone and anyone who says anything will answer to me."

"I don't need protection," Regina insist, pushing past the lump in her throat.

"Maybe not, but you have it anyway. From me, my husband and my daughter. So deal with it." She stands up and offers a hand to Regina. "You've protected me many a time whether you realize it or not. This is my turn to do the same."

"You have a different understanding of our history than I do."

"I prefer to think of it as a more positive view of things," she says cheerfully. "There was a time when I lost faith in you. In us. That will never happen again."

"If you and your obnoxious family -"

"The family you're part of," Snow replies with an overly sweet smile.

Regina gives her a look and then pushes on. "If you want to insist on forgiving someone that no sane person ever would, well, then who am I to stop you?"

With a roll of her eyes (it's the only way that she can hide the swirling emotions within her), she reaches out to take Snow's hand and stand up.

That's when she feels it.

That's when the pain that she's been feeling most of the day - annoying and aching for the most part - becomes explosive and she can feel both the fear from herself and the terrifying panic from the baby all at the same time.

"Regina," she hears Snow say, her voice alarmed and a bit scared. "No."

She thinks she hears something creak, maybe even break behind her but it's hard to focus on anything because she's falling to her knees and crying out in agony, her hand over her belly as the fear within her grows exponentially.

Metal twists and glass shatters and then Snow is throwing herself over Regina as flames erupt within the fireplace and the doorframe crumbles inwards.

"Stop," she hears Snow insist. Practically plead.

"I can't," Regina whispers, her teeth almost cracking beneath the pressure of how hard she's biting down to stop herself from screaming again. "I'm not doing this; she is. She's scared..Snow, it's too early. She's too early."

Snow looks up and around at the shattered and nearly caved-on office.

And wonders if she has enough hope and faith to get them through this.

* * *

><p>Emma's racing out of Regina's house with Ruby close behind her when David's cruiser pulls up in front, a very pensive and clearly worried looking Robin Hood riding shotgun, his cell phone clutched tight in his hand. David calls out as they approach, "We just got a call-"<p>

"City Hall is caving in. Yeah, I just got the same call from about fifteen different people," Emma finishes, pulling open the door and jumping into the backseat of the cruiser, Ruby quickly scooting in beside her. "I've been trying to call Mary Margaret, but -"

"Your mother is in there?" David asks, his eyes widening. "We thought it might be Regina because..." he trails off and looks over at Robin.

Who quietly says, "She's in there, isn't she?" Only it's not so much a question as a certainly made into a plea to be wrong.

"Yeah. They both are." Emma meets David's eyes."Mom went after got a bit intense here. It…it doesn't matter." She then leans forward and squeezes Robin's shoulder. "But what matters right now is that Regina isn't alone and she's going to be just fine. She is."

Robin swallows hard and nods.

Because if he says anything, he'll say that he can't lose his heart again.

He can't lose Regina again.

So he says nothing, just looks ahead and watches the road before him.

* * *

><p>Snow's terrified; she's had two children of her own and she's lived in the woods and learned how to do things few princesses know how to do but delivering a magical baby in the middle of a panic attack because she's coming too early and her mother is freaking out as well, that's harder.<p>

But Regina is doubled over and trying to hold back on screaming as she shudders in such terrible pain and Snow knows that even if help is on the way (she has to believe that it is) she's going to be the one delivering the baby. She knows she's going to be the first one to hold Regina's little girl.

Her eyes flicker over to the unicorn mobile that is still laying on its side on the couch and Snow thinks about how strange their lives truly are and then muses that there probably was no other way that this could have ever gone.

"Okay, Regina," she says. "I believe we're going to have a baby today."

"She's too early," Regina whispers again, tears on her face even as she struggles to pull herself together and get control back of this situation. It all hurts so much right now (she'd thought the pain she'd felt when Owen had tortured her had been awful, but this - the physical and the mental - is so much worse than that), but she's been through so much in her life and so even this won't reduce her to a puddle even if the fear brings her close.

The fear that all of this hope will have been for nothing and then when it's all over, she'll be staring at bloody sheets and empty arms once again.

But that's where Snow comes into this; that's where rainbows and unicorns that the Evil Queen had hissed in fury at begin to matter. Simple hope has become a necessity and it's all Regina has to help her believe that she won't lose everything all over again. It's Snow's soft smile and bright eyes that insist to her that when this night is done, she'll still have her baby girl.

Her daughter, her son, family, and her lover.

Her second chance.

She knows better but for once, Regina doesn't resist following Snow's lead.

Can't resist.

Won't resist.

Even though she can smell blood and she can feel the wetness against her pants and oh there's so much panic rolling through her, coming from her daughter in suffocating waves that seem to be getting and deeper and more intense.

Which says nothing of her own fear, of her own doubts.

The ones that she's fighting to push back and away.

"She is too early," Snow agrees her voice firm and confident, pulling Regina from her rapidly darkening thoughts. "But she's your little girl which means she's built tough and resilient. And she might be early but that's just because her mother is always late." Snow chuckles at her own joke and then (after Regina groans again - whether in pain or annoyance at the poor choice of mirth) she says, "Listen to me: you are the strongest woman that I have ever known, Regina; you and me, together we are going to bring your daughter into this world. So grab my hand and squeeze hard and let's do this."

Their eyes meet - frightened brown on worried but hopeful green - and then for the second time in ten minutes, Regina reaches out and grips Snow's hand.

**TBC...**


	15. Chapter 15

All of the fluffy pillows have been moved from the couch to a position either behind Regina's head or beneath her knees to help keep them up and spread (it's not comfortable in the least but it has to be better than it was, Snow figures) and she's slung a thin blanket over Regina to try to keep her warm now that she's mostly undressed and exposed to the crisp air of the office. If there had been more time available to her, Snow would have liked to have stoked the fire that the baby's magic had started to help keep it warm in this overly cool room, but right now, she doesn't dare to leave Regina's side for even a brief moment. Not with as bad as this labor clearly is for her.

Regina - the woman who had survived a significant amount of torture before she'd screamed out her pain - is in absolute agony, tears leaking from her eyes as part of her tries to fight against bringing this child into the world this early. She's smart and knows that it can't actually be stopped, but that isn't preventing the fear that's rolling off of her that's causing her to fight this.

She fights everything, it's just what she does and has always done.

But some things can't be fought; this little girl is going to making her stage debut sometime very soon and there's nothing that they can do to stop that.

Right now, though, Snow's worry is less (in the immediate, anyway) about the baby and more about Regina and what this much stress during delivery can do to her. Though, to be fair, Snow recalls that she'd been pretty stressed out during her delivery of Neal as well and both she and he are just fine.

But Neal hadn't had magic coursing through his blood and though he'd been born during extreme jeopardy - what with Zelena intending to use him as a sacrifice so that she could wipe out an entire timeline - he'd still come into the world in a relatively safe hospital room as opposed to a caved-in office.

"Okay," Snow says gently as she looks down at the antique timepiece in her hand - she'd found it in Regina's top desk drawer and suspects that it had once belonged to her father. It's polished, clean and still working which makes it suitable for her needs. "I'm going…I'm going to take a look." She seems almost sheepish when she says this because no matter how close you are to someone or how much your relationship has healed, it's still a rather strange and intimate thing to be looking up between their legs like this.

"Do you even know what you're looking for?" Regina snaps before groaning again. She's having contractions now - far closer together than Snow would like - and hasn't yet gotten to a place of balance and timing with them. Not that that's ever easy to do but Regina isn't even being able to adapt to the pain of one contraction before another seems to be slamming into the back of the first one. They're not quite that close together, but well close enough.

"I have a fair idea," Snow says with a smile. "I have had two children."

"Yes, but someone else was down there for both of them. Have you ever looked between someone's legs and seen a human head emerging?"

"No, but I've seen video," Snow replies. "Zelena got me a video." She says this sheepishly, a small uncomfortable smile on her lips that is as much about her own embarassment for hiring the Wicked Witch as her nanny as it is about the fact that she knows Regina hasn't truly dealt with her sisters death in any way.

"Fantastic," Regina grits out. "I'm glad I missed that."

"You know you should have gone through the classes," Snow scolds gently.

"Those stupid Lamaze ones? Where silly -" her words are cut off by a pained groan and then a hoarse cry and a fierce tremble. "I can't…I can't do this."

"Yes, you can," Snow insists as she moves in front of Regina and places a hand on Regina's shaking left knee. "Anything I can do, you can do better."

"I'm not sure if spitting out live children between my legs is one of those things," Regina hisses out as she tilts her head back, tears on her face.

"I had Emma while your soldiers were storming the castle and Neal while Zelena was storming the hospital. You can do this, Regina. I know you can."

Regina groans in response again, one of her hands clenching hard enough that if she actually had nails, she'd likely have drawn blood from her palm.

"Just take try to relax," Snow urges, then choosing to ignore the profanity laced retort she receives in response. "If we're lucky, help is on the way -"

"That's assuming the morons in this town even noticed what's going on," Regina snaps back. "It's very possible they just think City Hall got a facelift."

"They'll have noticed and I'm sure they'll have been trying to contact us and I'm sure they've realized that the phone lines don't appear to be working."

"You have a lot of faith in your idiot husband, but I don't -" her words bleed off again into several more creative expletives that make Snow's eyebrow lift up in surprise. "Snow…you need to take the escape hatch. Get someone."

Snow glances over at the giant Mayor's desk; just beneath it is a small trap door that leads down through a series of tunnels and then outside. There's no way to know if the baby's energy pulse when her mother had gone into labor had damaged that escape route, but either way, Regina isn't going through it.

Which means Snow isn't, either.

She shakes her head in response. "That's not happening; I'm staying right here with you, Regina. Because I do have faith. I have faith that our loved ones - David, Robin, Emma - all of them - are already looking for a way to get to us and I have faith that with some luck, you will be able to give birth to your daughter in a nice comfortable hospital bed with a lot of very good drugs."

"Good drugs," Regina murmurs, her head dropping back against the pillow as a wave of exhaustion hits her. "She's been tranquilizing me for the last eight months and now's when she chooses to go for excitement instead."

"She's making a grand entrance. Like her mother."

"That's not nearly as amusing with you between my legs."

"I know," Snow admits and then moves back around to the top and takes Regina's hand in hers, fingers entangling. "I know you're scared right now." When Regina starts to protest, she softens her voice. "I know that you are."

"She's too early," Regina whispers, her hand tightening on Snow's. "I have been -" she stops speaking for another groan. "I've been trying so hard to be in better control, to make sure my emotions don't hurt her and I failed."

"No. No! Listen to me. You did not fail her," Snow insists. "Your little girl is early but she's not too early, and she's going to be just fine. For once, I need you to believe me. Let me be your strength right now, Regina, okay?"

"Must you always be so annoyingly inspirational?" Regina answers.

"Yes. Now if your timepiece is right, you're due for another contraction; let's try to breathe our way through this one - okay, screaming will work as well."

She lets out a nervous chuckle at the glare Regina manages and tries to pretend that it doesn't feel like her former stepmother is breaking her hand.

* * *

><p>The good news is that though City Hall has structural damage to it now thanks to whatever had occurred within the Mayor's Office, it's not impossible for the foursome to get to the wall separating the inner room from the outer one. The bad news is that glass door has been shattered and bent inwards, and the wall has crumbled outwards leaving a massive blockade behind.<p>

"Red, what do you smell?" David asks, his eyes flickering over the worry he sees on the faces of the two blondes with him. To his eyes, Robin and Emma look anxious and agitated, like they're both worried out of their minds.

He's sure that they are because he is.

His wife and the woman who had spent decades trying to destroy all of them are now trapped inside the office and he realizes that he would do just about anything to ensure they both get out of this mess safely. How weird their lives have become, David thinks. Years ago, he never could have imagined fighting to rescue Regina for more than just because it's the right thing to do reasons.

Of course, Snow is in there as well, but still, things have changed.

Regina has actually become a vital part of the family; a crucial element. And this baby feels like a new start for all of them, just as little Neal had. A way for all of them - from Snow to Emma to Robin and Regina - to heal and to continue moving forward.

"I smell blood," Ruby says softly. "And fear. A lot of it."

A loud agonized scream tears through the room, almost echoing and then Robin is jerking forward and escaping any attempts to hold him back. He places his hands on the broken wall and demands, "Is there another way in?"

"It's Regina," Emma notes. "Surely she had a back-up plan."

"Then why wouldn't she have used it?" David asks.

"She's in labor," Ruby notes. "She may not be able to walk right now."

"And Snow won't leave her," David sighs.

"Okay," Emma says. "We need to find that way in. There should be copies of the blueprints for this building down in the Archives assuming it hasn't been caved in as well; Rubes and I will go check that and get some paramedics and Doc here and on standby in the meanwhile. Robin, you and my dad -"

"Are going to try to get through this wall," Robin finishes.

"Be careful; we have no idea how sound this structure is at this point."

"Understood," Robin says, his eyes already back on the wall. He doesn't even notice when Emma and Ruby leave, only recognizes that he and David are both against the broken structure, each of them looking for ways inside of it.

"We can hear her," Robin notes. "We should try to communicate with them."

"I'm not sure we want to shout through the wall and create vibrations."

"No," Robin agrees. "But perhaps an opening in the wall to speak through."

David nods his agreement and then motions for Robin to take the left.

* * *

><p>"Hey, no don't close your eyes. Talk to me, Regina," Snow says once the tremors from the latest contraction have subsided. Her hand hurts terribly but she barely notices because her attention is on how pale and tired Regina is.<p>

She remembers from her own childbirths how draining and painful the experience is, but this seems like far more than just that. Snow wonders if maybe thanks to the empathy magic that this child has and how extreme this experience is for her if she's somehow unintentionally leeching energy and strength from her mother more than she might be intending to.

"What about?" Regina drawls, sounding almost drunk.

"Anything. Just stay with me."

"I'm not dying here."

"Neither is she."

There's a pause and then, "She's not talking to me anymore. She's so quiet and still and...what if she's…what if I killed her, Snow? What if I killed my -"

The fireplace behind them - where the flames ignited when Regina had first gone into labor have died down to almost nothing now - suddenly explodes and then the rest of the pictures on the wall are falling off. A filing cabinet across the room bends inwards and the handle flies into the far wall.

"There she is," Snow chuckles and it's half joy and half fear that peppers her shaky voice. "See? She was just taking a brief nap because it's going to be a really crazy day for her. Everyone is going to want to meet her."

"What if she's antisocial like me?"

"You're not antisocial, just a giant pain in the ass."

"I'm serious. What if she inherits everything that's bad about me?"

"Your extreme loyalty or your massive capacity for love?"

"My evil," Regina says quietly, her eyes drooping.

"So you've stopped believing that evil isn't born?"

"I want better for her."

"She will always have better. Than either of us had. Always."

"She has me. I want better for her than to have me as a mother."

"I would argue that she's very lucky to have you as -" her words are drowned out by a sharp cry as another contraction hits Regina hard enough to make her whole body tremble. "They're getting closer again," Snow says softly.

"So much for a soft bed," Regina grinds out once the contraction passes.

"You never did like to do things the easy way."

Regina's only response is a tired glare that lacks any vitriol.

Snow's about to respond to her - about to tease her - when she hears the sound of the greatest voice in the world - the one belonging to Charming.

"Snow? Regina?" David calls out, his voice coming through the wall.

"I told you," Snow whispers. "I told you they'd find us."

Regina tries to roll her eyes but every attempt she's making at seeming like she's still in control is being swallowed up by the exhaustion of her body.

She's ready for her little girl to be in her arms.

She needs to know that her baby is okay and she hasn't hurt her.

"We're in here!" Snow calls back. "But Regina's in labor."

"We figured," David replies.

"Is she all right?" another voice says - Robin.

"She is fine," Regina replies, forcing her voice higher. It's trembling and breaking, though, and it's fairly easy to see that her strength is fading fast.

"We need to get her to the hospital," Snow says. "Little girl is coming fast."

"We're working on it," a third voice - Emma - states. "Regina, how big is the tunnel beneath your desk? Big enough for me? For Robin? Doc?"

Regina nods her head at Snow, her eyelids suddenly very heavy again.

"She says yes. But how will that help us with getting the wall down?"

"David and Leroy and the others will take care of that part," Emma replies, the sound of many other voices around her giving the impression of a full room.

"But we - Emma, Doc and I - are coming in now," Robin adds.

"I'll get the hatch open," Snow assures them.

* * *

><p>The escape tunnel is like something you would see on Star Trek - it reminds Emma of those Jeffries Tubes that seemed to run between every level. This one begins in the underground parking garage and climbs up two levels to get to the back of the Mayor's Office. It's wide enough for Robin's muscular frame but slick and tight enough that they have to move carefully and slowly.<p>

Which is something that Robin is in no mood for.

So Emma urges him to talk as they're crawling. It's a ten minute trip for the three of them and Doc says not a word the whole time, but she and Robin talk about Roland and Henry and about how they're both going to be fantastic older brothers to this little girl who will never know anything besides love.

"I just want her to know happiness," Robin says softly.

And knowing that it's not just his daughter he's referring to - knowing that he means Regina as well - Emma says emphatically, "I know and she will."

* * *

><p>Emma is the first one through but Doc and Robin are right behind her. The moment Doc crawls out, he's rushing over to Regina and maybe long ago this woman was an enemy to him, but he's learned to trust Snow's instincts and even more important than that, he understands the preciousness of life.<p>

He moves below Regina quickly and if it's a bit strange to be between the Queen's legs, he says nothing about it. Instead, "We're about there now."

"Robin," Snow states and moves away so that he can take her hand.

"I think she'll need us both," he tells her, motioning to Regina's other hand. It's a sign of how tired and not in the moment Regina is that she's not offering up any kind of sarcastic protest at that, just willingly taking the provided support.

Robin then glances quickly over at Emma who has surveyed the situation, checked out Regina and verified that she's in good hands. She's now over at the crumbled-in wall talking to David on the other side of it. It's what she can do to help, how she can make sure that this ends up well for everyone. She nods at her deputy and offers him a small smile and then returns to her father.

"Your Majesty," Doc says. "We're at the point where we need to push."

"She's so scared," Regina murmurs and then looks up at Robin.

"Well let her know that she doesn't need to be scared anymore," Robin assures her, then brushes hair away from her sweaty forehead and presses a kiss down. "She doesn't need to be scared because she's not alone."

"She feels so much, Robin. What if it's too much for her and she can't handle it?" Regina is half delirious now, almost babbling through the pain and the unsettling sense of being almost disconnected from herself. Almost all of her energy - and the emotions connected to that energy - is being absorbed by her child and while it doesn't frighten Regina (perhaps as much as it should) as far as herself, it terrifies her on behalf of her child who can't protect herself.

But Robin seems to know where her troubled mind is and immediately responds with, "We will protect her. We will help her be strong enough."

"What if I'm not enough?"

"You are enough," Snow states as she thinks that this moment is about Cora and her last words to Regina and how a daughter hadn't ever really been enough for a mother who had never truly understood the meaning of love.

But Regina isn't that woman.

In fact, if anything, Regina is a woman who understands love too well.

It's hurt her too much.

But not this time.

"Okay, Your Majesty, I think we're ready," Doc says.

"It's time to meet our little girl, Regina," Robin whispers, his mouth close to her ear. Her head falls back against his shoulder for a moment and he takes the opportunity to kiss her cheek, to try to reassure her however he can.

"I'm scared," Regina whispers, so open and vulnerable and innocent.

So he tells her what matters most. "Our child will never be alone and neither will you again, my love. You are not alone now," Robin says. He kisses her knuckles and then clutches her hand tighter. "I'm right here. I love you."

"Robin -"

"Let's say hello," he urges.

Her eyes close but then she's nodding her head and lifting it back up.

"All right," Doc announces once her eyes meet his. "On three, let's have your first push."

* * *

><p>Their baby girl is a tiny little angel with loud pipes and from almost the first moment that she's breathing air, she's crying out a loud welcome. Doc is already talking about how she'll need to be in NICU for at least a few days (Emma is somewhat amazed that the hospital here in Storybrooke even has such a unit, but the curse was nothing if not entirely weirdly thorough, she thinks) but her responses and vitals are stable and that's a great sign overall.<p>

"Is she okay?" Regina asks still, unable to absorb all of the information and for the moment only caring about on answer as she fights desperately to keep her eyes open long enough to see her baby, but it's a battle she's losing.

Robin looks up from where he's holding his daughter in his arms, a soft plush towel from the adjoining bathroom wrapped around her, and smiles brightly. He brings her into Regina's eye-line and then supports her arms while she holds the baby for just a moment, long enough for her to feel a heartbeat.

She holds her daughter until the paramedics take the baby to check her and then she's on the gurney and trying so hard to listen and to understand.

She tries so hard, but finally, all of the exhaustion and the energy lost and taken from her just catches up and reluctant, she lets sleep overwhelm her.

* * *

><p>She hears them talking over her bed, just disembodied voices for awhile.<p>

She can't really make out what they're saying - something about City Hall and how the dwarves and David and Emma had cut a whole in the wall.

She tries to open her eyes, tries to say something, but the exhaustion wins.

* * *

><p>The next time she wakes, she feels stronger - still tired but more herself.<p>

"Hi," Robin says, from his position next to the bed. "You're awake."

"How long have I been out?" Regina queries.

"Just a few hours." He chuckles. "Far too long for me. And your boy."

"Henry? He's here."

"He just left a few minutes ago to go something to eat. He'll be back."

"And the baby?"

"In…what I suppose is called the intensive care unit. But she's all right."

"She is?"

"Precautionary because of her early birth. That's what Doc said. But she's healthy and strong and she'll be ready to go home as soon as she can."

"I want to see her." Then, "Am I going to need to be in a wheelchair?"

"Oh yes," Snow says from the doorway. "I'll go get one. And Henry."

"I suppose that I have to really be nice to her from now on," Regina notes with a small smile once Snow is out of the room, the door still open beind her.

Robin laughs at that. "Well, you did almost break her hand."

Regina grows serious. "I was…I was so scared I'd hurt her."

"You didn't."

"She came early because of me."

"She was always going to come early; the other doctor said so. For what it's worth, while I would have preferred the birth not to have been so dramatic, I'm not sorry that it happened here in Storybrooke; I got to be there for it."

"You did," she confirms. "But -"

He shakes his head. "She's here. Our baby girl is here. And she's perfect."

* * *

><p>Henry and Roland are the ones behind her wheelchair and Robin is walking beside it. Once they reach the door, the nurse there asks that Roland stay outside of the room because young kids tend to carry more germs around.<p>

"Soon," Regina promises Roland.

"Go on," Robin suggests. "This is a moment for the three of you." He smiles at Henry and after a brief pause, Henry nods his head. Like he's finally letting go.

Like he's finally understanding that what matters is the amends you make.

* * *

><p>"I was this small?" Henry asks as he looks down at tiny baby rested in his mom's arms. She's got a shock of light brownish hair, but is otherwise bald.<p>

"You were a bit bigger when you came to me."

"Was I think wrinkled?"

"No."

"But I was this cute?"

"My handsome prince."

He grins. Then, looking up at the nurse, "Can I hold her?"

"For just a few moments. All of this can be fairly stressful for her."

"I don't have to," he says quickly.

Regina looks up at the nurse who nods her head and then Regina gently puts her daughter into her older brother's arms, adjusting his hands carefully for support. "So," she says. "What are we calling her? What did you decide on?"

"Kyra," Henry says, sounding just a bit uncertain.

"Kyra?"

"It means Dark One."

Her eyebrow lifts. "Like Rumple?"

"Like you," Henry rushes to say, his cheeks reddening just a bit. "But depending on the variant of it or where it's from, it can also mean sun and strong woman and lord…and beloved." He smiles at that. "I thought that maybe she's all of those things…all of…" Henry trails off, like he suddenly thinks that what he's saying might be just a little bit stupid. "All of us."

"Kyra," she says again. "I like it. Did you come up with a middle name?"

"I was thinking we'd let Roland do that," he suggests with a smirk.

She laughs. "Probably not." She then leans across Henry and runs a finger gently over her daughter's face and then taps her on the nose. "Hi, Kyra."

"So, it's good?"

She looks at her son for a moment and then repeats the words that Robin had said about their daughter just a short time ago, "Like you, it's perfect."

**TBC...**


	16. Epilogue

**A/N:** _Thank you for taking this funky journey with me. I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did. Much appreciation!_

* * *

><p>It's about three weeks before Kyra Helena (when they're discussing middle names, they go through dozens and she finally asks him what his mother - the woman he's still never forgiven himself for failing to protect - was named and when he tells her that her name was Helena, the conversation is over and for once she's the one kissing someone's tears away) is finally released from the NICU so that she can go home and sleep in her own crib for the first time.<p>

Thankfully, much of the time that Kyra had spent at the hospital had been strictly precautionary and not because of any actual worries over her.

The simple undeniable truth is that Kyra is a small but strong little warrior even at only three weeks of age. She's a constant ball of intensity , her eyes when they're open always tracking the fuzzy movements around her, her tiny little hands always clutching out for anyone who might come close to her. It's like she's seeing (even if not quite yet) everything around and is in her own not quite developed way, absorbing everything and learning everyone.

On the day Kyra leaves the hospital, she and her mother get a full family escort out to the new black BMW that Regina had purchased a few days earlier (the Mercedes is a two-seater and as much as Regina loves it and will never give it up, it simply doesn't work for the purposes of transporting her family around). It's a bit embarassing for Regina really, and more than a little overwhelming to have so many people there and caring about her. But they do and when she catches Emma grinning at her as if to say "see?" all she can manage in response is a tired roll of her eyes that makes the blonde laugh.

* * *

><p>It's the first night home - Roland is staying with Marian for a few extra days (she's been gracious and even very kind about all of this, but when Robin tries to talk to her like there is more than just Roland between them now, she shuts him down and he thinks that he really did lose his best friend through his own dishonor) and Henry is out fishing with his grandfather and Leroy.<p>

So it's just the three of them for this first nght: mom, dad and little girl.

"Is she out?" Robin asks as he comes into the nursery where Regina is rocking their baby in her arms, attempting to lull her to sleep after a recent feeding.

"Not yet," Regina murmurs, looking down at the baby. Then, "I did this."

She seems amazed, her voice full of awe and disbelief. She's been like this since the first moment that she'd gotten to hold her child, and she wonders if there will ever be a moment when she isn't as amazed. She can still quite distinctly recall thinking of Henry in this way and now here it is again.

Amazement that something in her arms can truly be so perfect.

And amazement that such a perfection had come from within her.

"You did."

"I didn't hurt her." Still so much disbelief - and so much guilt over the fact that her raw emotions had endangered her daughter. Over the last few weeks, everyone from Snow to Archie has tried to convince her otherwise, but it had taken signing release papers for Kyra to truly calm her worries down.

"No," Robin tells her. "And she adores you as much as her father does." His hand tangles with hers, beneath the blanket that Kyra is in. "I almost lost all of this," he notes. "I believed in my code of honor so much that I almost lost the chance to be sitting here with the two of you right now, watching all of this."

"You're here now," she says quietly.

"Is that all that matters?"

She thinks for a moment, thinks about the guilt and then looks down at the child resting against her breast. "I've spent a lot of time living in the past, Robin; I want to live in the now. Our little girl, she's got this empathy magic running through her and that means that there are going to be times in her life when she's going to feel so much. I want her to feel like she can always look around and find happiness and not worry about what she can't change."

"Are you worried? About the magic?" Weeks ago she'd asked him much the same thing and he'd admitted some concerns, but now seeing Kyra so safe and protected against her mother, he finds it difficult to think of bad things.

Regina looks down at the baby, nestled in her arms, surely able to feel the emotions flowing of her mother, but calm because she's safe right here.

"A little. But there's a lot that's been written about those born with this kind of magic and Belle had assured me that Kyra has an instinctive protective ability and knows how to guard herself. She'll need help, of course, but -"

"She has us."

"I just want her happy. I want her to be so happy."

"Are you happy?"

She looks up at him and smiles, a bit of devilish humor in it as she lifts her free hand up and runs it gently across his bearded cheek. "I'm working on it."

"Can I help?" he asks, and now he's playing with her as much as he's serious, wondering if there's more that he should be doing, but desperately pleased that she's not pulling away from the forward progress that they've made.

Regina lifts Kyra up to him. "You can change her."

"Always the pleasant tasks."

"I am a Queen," she reminds him and it's truly a joke because she'd changed Henry numerous times a day for years and she's done the same with Kyra, but it's enough to make them fall back into the humor of their old roles.

Not titles - she's not the Evil Queen and he's not Robin Hood.

But she is the Queen and he is the Thief.

He mock bows to her and takes Kyra from her; immediately, his little girl stirs in her father's arms and makes what almost sounds like a purring noise.

Regina rolls her eyes and stands, still tired and a bit ginger even many weeks later. "Enjoy changing her; I'm going to bed." She steps past him, leans up and steals a quick kiss and then slides over to the door. And for a moment, all she does is watch as Robin rocks Kyra in his arm and talks so softly to her.

So sweetly.

Regina wonders if she's happy.

And thinks that yeah, she's getting there.

A little more every day.

* * *

><p>The weeks pass and routine sets in easily for the whole family. After a few starts and stops, she and Robin are sharing a bed full-time now and some evenings it's so very strange because it's just so comfortable and even normal (as much as such a thing could ever be normal for a woman with her past) and she has to convince herself that this is actually real and not just some desperate fantasy that her damaged mind had created to help her survive.<p>

It's still so hard to accept this is real when she has Kyra pressed against her breast and she's thinking about how she'd never imagined this possible.

But it is possible.

It is happening.

It is real.

All of this.

* * *

><p>Henry and Emma are her work-out team. Every morning once she's feeling well enough again to be up and moving, the two of them join her for a run down the path that leads through the woods. It's a good jog and it's helping her to get back to feeling like she's in control of her own physicality again.<p>

"You're doing that thinking thing again," Emma notes as they come to a stop in front of one of the big trees. She reaches down to her hip and pulls out a water bottle that she takes a quick swig from before offering over to Henry.

"She's right," Henry nods. "What about?"

"Operation Runt," Regina admits.

"Which was a fantastic success," Henry notes.

"It was," she allows. "I just...I never would..." she shakes her head.

"Pretty sure Porky Pig served me lunch yesterday," Emma notes.

"Porky is a cartoon," Henry sighs. "That was Ellis. The second of the three little pigs. He's the one that lived in the wood shack. Remember, missing an ear?"

"Right. My point is, we live in a town full of crazy. Stop being surprised when something unbelievable happens." She shrugs then. "Or even believable."

"You mean like you becoming as bad as your idiot parents are about the word hope?" Regina retorts as she accepts the water bottle from Henry.

"I was thinking about getting it tattooed on my ass," Emma grins.

Henry groans. "Gross."

"Inappropriate, Miss Swan," Regina notes, but she's smiling.

"Yeah, I suppose so. Where did you get it tatooed on you?"

Regina rolls her eyes at that and it will never fail to amaze her just how much of her relationship with Emma involves doing exactly that. "If you're done scandalizing our son, then perhaps you're ready to continue our run?"

"Of course," Emma says, recovering the water bottle and putting it away. "But only because I don't think the Kid needs to know that you have a -"

"Nope, don't want to hear this," Henry says quickly and then he's frantically racing away down the path, leaving his mothers chuckling behind him.

"That was mean," Regina notes.

"It was. A little. But it's really not such a bad word after all. Hope, I mean."

Regina thinks for a moment and then says, "No, I suppose it's not."

* * *

><p>She sees Marian about three months after Kyra's birth. Considering how Roland has been half living with Marian in the apartment that she's rented for herself (she took a job working at the animal shelter, and though it's perhaps not what she would have preferred to do for a living, her gentle calm works for the animals in the same way that David Nolan's had) and half living with Robin and Regina at the mansion, it's rather amazing how much they've been able to avoid running into each other or interacting at all. But they're both standing outside of Granny's now and Marian has a box full of doughnuts.<p>

Most likely powdered ones because those are the ones Roland likes best.

"Regina," Marian greets quietly and without much emotion and Regina's struck again by just how much kinder this woman is; she herself wouldn't have given Marian the time of day had their situations been reversed.

"Marian," Regina answers and for a long moment, neither woman says anything because any small talk would feel forced and unnecessary. But neither moves, either. They just stand there awkwardly, looking at each other.

Finally, Marian says, "May I see a picture?"

"A picture?"

"Of your daughter."

"You want to see -"

"She's Roland's sister and though this isn't what I would have ever wanted to happen, this is how things are. You, your daughter, Roland, all of us have to learn to co-exist and I imagine eventually I will meet…her name is Kyra, yes?"

"Yes."

"I would like to…I would like to see her."

Regina reaches into her pocket and extracts her phone and in this moment, she has never felt further from the Evil Queen that she once was. She simply feels small and vulnerable and incredibly nervous. About a normal woman.

About her lover's ex-wife.

She turns the screen on and shows Marian a picture of Henry and Kyra.

And then waits, her body tensing as if to defend her daughter.

But Marian smiles, a mothers' simple appreciation. "She's beautiful."

"Thank…thank you." Regina re-pockets the phone and wonders if she's supposed to say something here, to give something in return for the odd kindness and almost acceptance that Marian is showing her at the moment.

But Marian saves her from such worries by nodding at her gratitude and then saying in an almost thoughtful tone, "Robin informed me that you chose to give her the middle name of Helena. I presume that he's told you just how much his mother means to him. How much she's driven his need for honor?"

"He has."

"Have you forgiven him?" Marian asks. "For that honor?"

"I…have. Have you?"

"I will eventually. Because I loved him as a friend before I loved him as my husband. Can you handle me forgiving him? Can you handle me in his life?"

"You mean can she handle it. The Evil Queen."

"I suppose that's what I mean. Can she?"

"I'm not…she's part of me, but I'm not her, anymore," Regina insists. And though she thinks she shouldn't feel the need to defend herself to this woman, she finds that she has the desire to even if it doesn't mean much.

"I know; I even believe that to be the truth because…Roland adores you," Marian says. "But I don't think that I will ever be able to forgive you. For taking me away from family three decades ago...and...I wish I could, but I can't."

This time, it's Regina who replies with a very quiet, "I know."

She then watches as Marian walks away, down the street, box in hand.

When she enters the diner, she sees Snow and Emma standing up, both of them watching with worried looks. "Everything good there?" Emma asks.

Regina sighs in response and its as much sarcasm as she can manage because frankly there's a lump in her throat. The truth is good, but it still hurts.

It can still hurt a whole lot.

* * *

><p>The boys are truly amazing with their little sister.<p>

Henry is the constant caretaker, still his mothers' protector even when she doesn't need it (sometimes it's too much and she has to remind him that she's not fragile and doesn't need to rest at all times and that he's still a kid and it's not his job to watch his little sister). Roland is the one who never fails to be fascinated and amazed by the inherent weirdness of his baby sister. As for Kyra herself, well she seems to be absolutely smitten by her older brothers, cooing whenever Henry is around and giggling whenever Roland is.

This is family, she thinks one night as she's watching Henry walking around with Kyra tucked in his arms, humming to her as he bottle-feeds her.

This is everything that she has ever wanted.

When Henry looks over at her and grins, she realizes that finally, she has it.

* * *

><p>She goes to see Rumple around the time that Kyra has hit six months of age.<p>

Her own magic is slowly returning to her and though she's in no hurry for it to come back, Regina is curious why it's doing so at such a slow pace. And why it seems to be awakening at the most inopportune of times (Robin is still teasing her about the blast of fire that had erupted from her hands during one of their recent kissing sessions after the baby had fallen asleep).

She also wants to know when Rumple's going to make her pay off the favor.

But he just smiles when she asks and says, "Eventually."

"Do you know what you'll ask for?" she sighs.

"I do. And it's something you will hate me for."

"I already hate you."

"Perhaps, but a deal is a deal and even if every part of you wants to refuse to come to the terms of it...well, now how is little Kyra doing?"

"Is that a threat?"

"Not at all."

Her eyes narrow but grudgingly, she allows, "She seems fine."

"But you're still concerned." A statement not a question and of course, he's right and he knows it, his inquistive curious eyes regarding her carefully.

"There's a lot of books and Belle is convinced -"

"Then she's right."

"She'd better be."

"Or else you might have to continue controlling your emotions?"

"When will my own magic return fully?" she demands, changing the subject away from her daughter. She has been overall relieved that the empathy magic seems far less reactive than she had initially feared and only seems to flare when the emotions around Kyra are extreme (usually anger caused by an intense argument). Even then, the little one has shown herself to be quick to calm and allow herself to be soothed. Usually by her father or her brother.

That part has taken some getting used to - a massive part of her wants to always be the one who can offer up the most comfort - but Snow has shown her on more than one occasion how baby Neal gravitates towards his father and insists that it's more about voices than anything else. It's a point that's easily reinforced when she sees the way Kyra seems to light up when she walks into a room. Unbelievable, really, but also undeniable: her child adores her.

"Your magic will return to you soon enough," Rumple reassures her. "Tell me, are you still breastfeeding?"

She lifts an eyebrow. He just looks back at her.

"Yes," she finally sneers at him.

He just smiles at her, knowing that he's crawled under her skin.

"You really are an offensive son of a bitch."

"That I am."

She huffs at him and then turns to leave.

"But for what it's worth, you needn't worry about your little girl."

She turns to look at him. Grows serious, finds his eyes. "No?"

"No," he says softly, and this is the small part of him that always did care. "Not from me or anything else. You have my word on that."

The part of him that loved his son dearly and would have given up power for his boy. It's just a flash beneath the surface of him, but she sees it now.

She nods her head and then leaves, the bell ringing behind her.

By the time she's at the end of the street, though, and thinking about getting home to a house full of her boys and her daughter, he's already forgotten.

* * *

><p>The first thing she does once her magic fully returns to her is combine powers with Emma so that they can speed up the rebuild of City Hall. There's not much labor in this town outside of the dwarves and so the reconstruction had been limping along, taking far longer than it should have. But a little bit of light and some quick instruction to Emma on exactly what to think about and then the walls are rising and solidifying. It takes an hour to do what months have not.<p>

"Is it sound?" David asks, looking at the drywall skeptically. He glances at Emma who shrugs her shoulders and then back over at Regina.

"I'm working from home, what do I care if it is?" Regina asks him with a smirk. When he gives her a disbelieving look, she sighs. "Now that the work is done, have one of your little men walk around and inspect it. I'm sure they're good for that much at least, aren't they?"

"Regina," Snow scolds. Then, to her husband, "It's sound. Which means that we should throw a Grand Re-Opening of City Hall Event. For the town."

"Of course we should," Regina drawls.

Which basically says it all, anyway.

* * *

><p>Snow hosts a family dinner a few weeks after the obnoxiously large (and annoying successful) Grand Re-Opening City Hall Event.<p>

She host the dinner at the house of her former stepmother. Because the loft is too small.

Which really means that she's not the one hosting it, but when Regina tries to point this out to her, Snow reminds her that she brought over the wine.

She supposes that matters. After all, she's allowed to drink again.

Which - when you add in her returned magic - brings her back to pretty much how she'd been before she'd discovered that she'd been pregnant with Kyra.

Now, her discoveries are more about what Kyra enjoys - such as magic shows above her crib, bright colors shining off the glass unicorns of the mobile Snow had given her. The mobile that had once been above Emma's crib. So very long ago.

But Emma has forgiven her for the past and so has Snow and that's why her house is full of chaos and children both young and old (Henry loudly insists to everyone that will listen that he's not a kid anymore, but the moment Regina turns her back, he flips the nozzle from the sink around on Emma and then there's water everywhere and both of them are grinning and threatening Regina that if she doesn't laugh, too, they'll nail her with the water as well).

So she laughs and they spray her, anyway.

When it's over and she's changed - she makes them stay in their wet clothes because they deserve to learn a lesson about playing in the house (Henry insists that the lesson they're learning is that they should never ambush her and think that they can get away with it and she supposes that that's fairly true as well) - they all sit down at the table and it feels just so bizarrely normal in a way that should never apply to a table full of storybook characters.

But this is the normal and Robin's hand is settling lightly on her own for just a brief moment before he's leaning across and ruffling Roland's hair.

This is normal and after dinner, she sees Robin and David and Emma and Henry and Roland in the Living Room playing video games (it's the car one that Emma had sent over months earlier) and then she finds her former stepdaughter and once mortal enemy sitting on the floor with nearly two-year old Neal and almost one-year-old Kyra and she doesn't even hesitate to join them all on the ground, her heels quickly tossed away as she settles on the carpet next to Snow.

They exchange a look and then Snow lifts her wine glass up. It's their own weird toast and when they both start laughing, it's at their own joke, too.

Because this is their new normal.

Perhaps finally the right normal.

It's normal, too, when hours later after everyone is gone and it's just she and Robin and a quiet house, she slips into his strong arms and kisses his lips and thinks that this is happiness in every single way that you look at it.

* * *

><p>She leaves Robin's arms when she wakes up, pulls a robe over her naked frame and slips down the long dark hallway, passing by Henry's room first (his door is half-open and when she looks inside, she sees him sleeping on his belly, one leg jutting out from under the blankets; she covers him back up but knows that within minutes, he'll be like this all over again) and then by Roland's room (he's curled up with that stuffed monkey and she keeps reminding herself that considering what the had discovered about what the monkeys really were before Zelena had cursed them, she should probably find a way to make that disappear, but she really doesn't have the heart to do it and so it stays in his arms) and then stepping into Kyra's nursery.<p>

Just so she can see her.

The moment she enters the room, Kyra's honey colored eyes open and Regina chuckles because she can almost see the way her daughter humors her already. Perhaps she's imagining it, but the child is just calmly looking at her, almost like she's seeming to say, "all right, what's on your mind?"

Absurd really.

Still, she leans in.

"Yes, I suppose you do know, don't you?" Regina murmurs and lifts the nearly year old girl up into her arms. "But for the record, I'm fine. You just spent the whole night with everyone else. It's my time for a few minutes alone with you. I get to be...I did this with Henry, too, so don't act like I'm making a big deal of you because I'm not." She chuckles. "All right, perhaps I am. But just a little bit."

She sits down on the chair next to the crib and begins to rock Kyra against her, a hand slipping through light brown curls that haven't yet fallen down.

"This still doesn't feel real," she says softly, after a few moments.

Kyra curls deeper against her.

"I think she's telling you that it doesn't get much more real than this," Robin suggests, leaning against the door-frame. His voice is soft, understanding.

She wonders if he has these moments as well and knows that he does.

"You should be sleeping."

"My electric blanket was missing," he tells her, commenting on the fact that since her magic has returned to her in full, she runs much warmer now.

"Sorry," she murmurs.

He shakes his head and steps in closer. "Her eyes are closed again."

"I know. I just -" she shrugs. "Sometimes I have to remind myself."

"Remind yourself of what?"

"That it's okay to be selfish every now and again," she murmurs, her fingers again weaving through Kyra's hair. "I spent so long being it when I was the Evil Queen and then when I became...when I wanted to be just Regina, I wanted to be anything besides her and that meant trying to always do what I thought was the right thing. And the right thing always seemed to be me losing."

"You didn't lose."

"No. And I'm allowed to be selfish, right? I'm allowed to want to keep this -" she sweeps her arm around. "And never let it go, right?"

"If that's selfish, then both of us are it," he tells her.

She smiles up at him and he thinks he sees a wet gleam in her eyes.

"Would you like me to leave you two?"

"No." She holds out her hand to him. "Never."

He doesn't hesitate; just takes it and curls closer to his two girls.

To his second chance.

To theirs.

**-FIN**

**For anyone interested, I can be found over on Tumblr at sgtmac7**


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